It Looks Like Someone Hurts John And The Boys Came To The Showdown

Asra picking up a call: hello?

Julian calling Asra: I need help, it’s MC

Asra: what’s wrong!?

Julian: well, ever since they got their memories back, they’ve been saying strange things

Asra: what kinds of things?

Julian: well once they yelled about a potion bottle being empty, and then they threw it across the room screaming “yeet”??

Asra: … Jul-

Julian: and another time we were at the market and they screamed “fuck yo chicken strips”?? and they’ve also been doing this weird motion with their arms and calling it a dab?? do you think Lucio is trying to possess them or-

Asra: calm down Julian, I think I know what’s wrong

Julian close to crying: what is it!?

Asra: I think they have Ligma

Julian: Ligma?? I’ve never heard of that, what is it!?

Asra: lig-ma-nuts!!

MC who has been listening in behind julian: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Julian: *SCREAMS*

Life lessons I’ve learned from the men of Queen

Brian: It’s cool to be smart, to love math and science, to look up at the stars. Struggling with a mental illness doesn’t make you weak or unloveable. It’s cool to care about social issues, other people, animals, the planet. We all make mistakes; it’s how you move forward that matters.

John: It’s okay to be introverted, to be quiet, to only speak when you have something to say. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself if people don’t listen. It’s cool to be a homebody, to find joy in your partner and children. Love your friends fiercely, even if it hurts sometimes. It’s okay to grieve in your own way. Dance like no one is watching.

Freddie: It’s cool to be yourself, no matter who that is. Be kind, be a mentor, be a peacemaker, take others under your wing. You are never alone. If you have a dream, don’t give up: live it, breathe it, pour everything you have into it. Don’t settle for less than true love. Live without regrets.

Roger: It’s okay to be loud, to be fearless, to be outspoken about things that matter. Take risks. Make friends. Collect new experiences like souvenirs. Don’t let anyone dismiss your point of view. Protect those you love with your life. We only get so much time here on Earth; have fun with it. 

Hades: Since we’re going to Alaska for a while, i’ve left all of you a complimentary bowl of advice.

Hades, picking one piece of paper out of the bowl: For instance, “Theo, stop doing that” just applies to everything.

roger : i need your help. you’re sneakier than me, you’re a better liar than me and you have no moral compass.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

freddie : look, those are nice compliments, but i’m busy.

John: I’ve been dropping him the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Brian: Wow. He sounds stupid.

John: But he’s not. He is really smart actually. Just dense.

Brian: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I like you!”

John: I guess you’re right…

John: Hey, Brian! I like you.

Brian: See? Just say that!

John: You can’t be fucking serious?

Brian: If that flies over his head then, sorry Deaky, but he is too dumb for you.

John: ...

Theo: *phone starts ringing*

Cain: *looks at who’s calling*

Cain *grimaces*: you still call our dad ‘daddy’?

Theo: *answers the call and makes direct eye contact with Cain*

Theo: Hello, Adonis.

Cain: *chokes on drink*

Artemis: Apollo kept trying to sacrifice me last night. He would just yell out “VIRGIN SACRIFICE!!” And then throw me into a circle of men