Latest Posts by ohlookitsrex - Page 2

Absolutely going to count this as one of the top 100 funniest images I have ever seen

It’s important that everyone understand that, when I say that I “like” a villainous character, what I in fact mean is that I consider them to be both cool and morally praiseworthy, as well as correct in their aims and methods and worthy of emulation by people in the real world. Just in case there was any ambiguity on this point.

when it’s suddenly 4 AM and you’re still awake

If I had a nickel for every big name Harry Potter fanfic writer who started their own cult, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Tucker Carlson got hacked and the only thing the hacker did was add “Fully vaccinated. They/Theirs 🇺🇦” to his bio

That is the funniest possible thing they ever could have done and the restraint is incredible

Dude, okay so—

Today, I was hit with the sudden craving for Togo’s (sandwich place) and I was like “wait, I had a sandwich yesterday, so half is probably still in the fridge.” I look in the fridge, and it’s gone—meaning my mom ate my Togo’s sandwich yesterday. I was sad, but I ordered another during the afternoon. I made a joke about it during dinner, knowing that my mom ate it, and my Dad wouldn’t have (because he doesn’t like it, and won’t eat other peoples food). And what do I come to find at 11:45 but my mom EATING THE REST OF THE SANDWICH THAT I ORDERED TODAY.

instead of killing characters off at random for shock value, may i propose a hip new trend: keeping characters alive at random for shock value. by all logic, this character should be dead. there’s no possible explanation for how they continue to shuffle ‘round this mortal coil. maybe we literally saw them die onscreen back in the passe era of shock value deaths. and yet, there they are. alive before our eyeballs.

Today at work there was a dude with a chihuahua in his bag, and it was quite cute (I don’t like chihuahuas usually, they are rat bastards, but this one was fine). I complimented him on his dog, and he said “oh, she usually wakes up when she smells food,” (I’m a caterer), and I—seeing the golden opportunity this was—replied with “me too, man,” and HE DIDN’T EVEN LAUGH. My talents are wasted here.

This really improved the quality of my day. By seeing how much worse it could be, I mean. And I think they meant a yaoi bunt.

Yaoi cocaine saga

(ad. husband instead of wife but yes)

Dream Jobs :

— forest witch

— rich vampire's wife

— haunted bookstore owner

Close to You

Charles Xavier x non-mutant!reader

Word Count: 699

Summary: Charles Xavier just wants to get closer to his significant other.

~~~~~

Okay so I was up last night reading a bunch of x-men fanfics and this cute lil story came to me and I couldn’t just ignore it, so yeah I guess I write for fictional characters now 😂

~~~~~

Mutants. They weren’t a new thing, they’ve been around for ages. Some humans of course were afraid, as most are when they see something different. You on the other hand we’re quite familiar with the concept. Your father was a mutant, as was your sister. However it seemed the x-gene had skipped you. Some call it a good thing, others a bad thing. To you, it didn’t matter if you were a mutant or not, you were happy with just being who you were.

However, what you were grateful for, was meeting Charles Xavier. It was almost straight out of a movie. You had been out grocery shopping and humming a song you’ve been obsessed with, and from out of nowhere, there he came joining in with your little tune. You stopped, slightly embarrassed you were humming out loud, but he just mentioned how he loved that song. You two chatted about it, both sharing how it was such a feel good song. After that, you two conversed some more while continuing shopping and by the time you left the store you had each other’s contact information.

That had been a couple months ago. Now, you were quite familiar with the man as well as the other mutants he hung around with. And your face was no stranger to the others.

This particular date night you were spending in Charles’ room. You two were having a lovely evening, first filled with dinner and now you were enjoying one of your favorite movies. The lights were off and you were cuddled close to Charles on the floor. It was a simple yet romantic date.

A romantic scene had just come on screen and as if on cue, Charles tilted his head to look at you and picking up on his movement you turned to him. You two meet in the middle, bringing your lips together and as always, fireworks go off in your head.

You lean close, resting your palm on his chest, while he lovingly wraps his arms around you. With no space between you two, you kiss until you have to break apart to catch your breaths. Once apart he leans his head against yours, staring warmly into your eyes. He let out a content sigh, “I want to feel you closer,” he said.

The edge of your mouth went up, giggling at the statement, “we’re literally right against each other, how much closer can we get?” You joked.

There was silence on his end, spare for an uneasy expression on his face. “I want to enter your mind.”

Now this was new to you. You obviously knew of his powers but the thought of someone in your mind seemed slightly invasive. In the few months that you’ve been together with Charles, you’ve made it clear that you didn’t want him in your mind without consent and he’s respected this. But now, sitting here beside him, the concept was quite compelling. So finally after some thought you agreed.

The look on Charles’ face when you agreed, was ecstatic and you couldn’t help but mirror his expression. Before he began you had to ask, “is this going to hurt?” He shook his head, “no, I would never do anything to harm you.” He said and you had no doubt in your heart, so without further ado, he leaned his head against yours again and in the next moment you felt it. You shut your eyes as a slight throb filled your head before you felt a presence.

Once opening your eyes you saw Charles smiling at you, hi, he said cheekily.

Hi, you thought back. It was…odd sitting here and just thinking to each other, but it was actually quite…soothing.

So how’s this? Not scary at all, huh? He mused.

No. I like it, it’s like our own private meeting.

You two sat there, engaging in simple discussion. And you had to admit after time it felt warm and intimate having him in your head.

That night was by far the best night you’ve ever had. And although that date eventually had to come to an end, that wouldn’t be the last time Charles Xavier was in your head.

~~~~~

I hope you all liked this little imagine and have a wonderful day ✨☀️✨ 

Unfinished Cherik Fic

Hello, dear readers. I am tired, have been working on this fic for ages, and want validation and beta-readers—so I’m forcing y’all to beta read part of my (very unfinished, 3000 words of foreplay, Cherik fic.

"I'm gay, Erik! I like men! I like cock! Quite frankly, I like you just a bit more than 'friendly' would warrant!That's what everyone in this fucking house has been making fun of me over for the past week or so—probably longer. That's why you weren't let in on my secret, and that's why I didn't want you to know."Charles was well and truly angry, but simultaneously, he was petrified. He felt nauseous—and not in the good way—and heartbroken all at once. Erik was going to leave and never come back.

Erik ponders this for a moment, before sitting down across from Charles. He takes a deep breath before speaking. Oh, god, he was gearing up to reject Charles wasn't he? Yes, you could tell by the slight crease in his brow—the least he could do is make it quick, right? Just rip off the band-aid.

"I don't want to belittle the courage and bravery that it took you to come out. I have no intentions of taking away the significance of this moment, which is why I'm going to choose my next words very carefully." Erik takes another breath. Oh god here it comes! Charles braced himself.

"I think that might be one of the hottest things I've ever heard." Well, that's a strange way of rejecting somebody—what game is Erik playing at?

"What?" Charles said, brilliantly.

"I mean, it would be—the hottest thing, I mean—if you weren't so torn up about this. You've obviously been holding on to this for a while, and I just hate to see you in pain."

"Erik, wh-" he sounds so genuine it hurts. Charles has rarely seen this side of Erik, and when he has previously, words always failed him. He is in love with Erik—the trenches—no, the Mariana Trench, of love; the mere thought that his object of affection could, and would, reciprocate...it's a wave of joy, confusion, anger, and (most of all) hope.

"I like you, Charles. I like you quite a lot. I find you very alluring. Ich bin bis über beide Ohren verliebt. In your words, I 'like cock,' specifically yours." Charles was stunned speechless; he was over the fucking moon, and his face couldn't help but show it. Erik had the privilege of bearing witness to the most beautiful fucking smile ever seen. All of the positive emotions Charles thought gone, suddenly came rushing back. His blood was making whirlpools in his ears, his heart was beating like a kick-drum, butterflies were racing around in his stomach,

"...and," Erik continued—he probably said more, but Charles couldn't hear it over the sound of his blood. "I really hope you wouldn't be opposed if wanted to kiss you. Right now." His mind adds on a 'please,' which Charles melts at (just a bit).

"I..." Charles can't even comprehend what is happening. His heart is doing somersaults in his chest, his thoughts are rushing by at one million miles a minute, and—oh, Erik asked to kiss him.

"You're right, I'm sorry that was insensit-“

Charles smashed his face against Erik's, and placed himself atop the older mutant's lap. Erik was fucking surprised, to say the least. He froze for a short breath, his arms turned to stone around Charles' body, before his brain kicked into gear. Erik clawed at the telepath's face, in like of grabbing a particularly beautiful sculpture. Charles' grip proved much rougher, (at least compared to Erik's appreciative caress), as his fingers scraped through Erik's hair. Erik never had the pleasure of witnessing Charles lost in pleasure—hunger—and, he's now decided that it's his favorite thing.

One of his hands moved on to Charles' neck, holding him softly. He held Charles with such wonder; disbelief, maybe. Erik just couldn't believe that Charles was kissing him—Charles. Charles was kissing him. Beautiful, kind, compassionate, handsome, genius, Charles. He laughed against the smaller man's mouth, and Charles was hit with a sudden wave of elation, joy, and (more importantly) love. Erik loves him, him. Charles Xavier—rumpled professor, stubborn pain in the ass, mother-hen, homebody—Charles Xavier. Charles laughed back, and smiled against Erik's mouth. Charles felt his own arousal stirring, so he (painfully) breaks the connection between their lips.

"Erik," Charles panted. "Before I devour you—or before you devour me, I'm really not adverse to either—I just...you're amazing. I've been hearing your thoughts and living your feelings, but you know none of mine." Erik's expression was...perfection. There was a clear type of astonishment seeping through his eyes, elation shining through his smile, and blush coating the tips of his ears. It clearly took him a second or ten to process what Charles said.

"Charles you don't have to-" Charles silenced him with a finger to the lips. Erik found this incredibly arousing, so he allowed it.

"I... I've never been in love. Not before you. I lived my entire life surrounded by people whose love was purely two dimensional. It wasn't real, but that was all I knew. Then came you and... I've learned that love is one of the purest emotions possible. You've slowly made yourself a spot in my head, and to be quite honest, I can't say I mind all that much." Charles finally noticed the red surfacing beneath Erik's cheeks. Wow. I've never seen him blush before, but I definitely want to see it more. Erik's brain stopped working after 'I've never been in love before.' He was star-struck, and all of Charles' words were hitting him with a slight delay.

"I don't think I can explain the measure of comfort I find in the beating of your heart," Erik spoke mindlessly, his voice doused in gravel and honey. Charles flushed at the idea of Erik being able to feel something as intimate as his heartbeat, and his...y'know—it seemed only fair, since Charles had access to Erik's thoughts. Erik carefully tugged at an earlobe with his teeth, earning a surprised yelp in return. Licking an aimless trail, Erik ended his journey with his mouth resting on cartilage, and a devious smile on his face. Charles' skin flushed a pretty rouge, panting from the sampling of his ear.

"Or the hardening of your cock," Erik continued, air crackling through the fry in his voice. He made sure Charles was secured (via ass grope) before standing up, who then let out a positively filthy moan and tensed in surprise—his legs now wrapped around Erik's midsection. He found himself practically sat on Erik's prick, earning himself a moan from the metal-bender. "Jesus Christ, Charles, do you want me to drop you?" Erik asked incredulously, still stumbling over to his bed. "I mean, eventually, yes, but right now," Charles trailed off, as Erik toppled down onto the bed—telepath first—careful not to crush his partner. "Right now," he picked up, "I'm quite satisfied with the current positioning."

"Well, I'm quite dissatisfied with current the lack of nudity," Erik quipped, tugging at any and every metal fastening in Charles' clothing.

"Impatient, are we?" Charles smirked, feeling the loosening of his jeans.

"Xavier," he said with heat, "I'm not sure if you're aware, but I seldom have attractive men in my bed, and there is no way I'm not taking advantage of the one I've managed." Charles assisted Erik in the removal of both his cardigan and trousers, but stopped Erik in the removal of his pants before they went further. "Ah-ah-ah, not until we're on equal standing. I want to see you too," and fuck if that wasn't the hottest thing Erik had ever heard. "Shit, okay" he panted, quickly disrobing himself down to his pants. He gave Charles a second to appreciate the goods, then began to explore the pale chest laid out in front of him. It's toned plains were sparsely dotted with auburn freckles, porcelain skin overrun with soft hues of pinks and reds.

"Gött, you're beautiful...like you walked out of my dreams," Erik softly hissed, his hands grasping Charles' pectorals, and positioning his thumbs right above a set of pert nipples. Charles thrashed lightly against Erik, and a pleased whimper had managed to escape the confines of his throat. It was then that Erik noticed his own length positioned directly on top of Charles'; Erik then decided to shift his hips up and down lightly, making Charles cry out in ecstasy, his eyes screwing themselves shut. He also bit down on his lip beautifully, leaving a shock of pure white against the near magenta color of his lips. Suddenly, it became absolutely imperative that Erik kiss Charles right this second—and why shouldn't he, anyway? Erik did exactly that—and with impressive finesse for a man who could, as of now, barely remember his own name—pushing more of his weight against Charles, and incidentally, moving the flesh of Charles' nipples. Charles then responded with what could only be described as a mewl, and Erik took the opportunity to utilize his tongue and explore Charles' mouth.

Erik would usually have more self-control, especially since he felt that Charles deserved to be ravished properly. But, Charles made Erik feel things that he never felt before. Erik was selfish with Charles, gluttonous was a better word—perhaps indulgent. Charles was meant to be savored, yes, but Erik had lost his self-restraint the second he felt Charles' lips on his. As he pulled away, Erik tugged on Charles' bottom lip with his teeth. He'd always wanted to try that, and yes, he would love to do it again. Then, Erik had noticed something.

"Charles."

"What?"

Charles.

By the way he'd jumped in surprise, Erik knew he received his message. "Erik, are you sure-" he began, and was cut off by a (surprisingly sweet) kiss. "Libeling, I know. The reason I wanted you out of my head was because I thought you wouldn't like what you found in there. My head is not a happy place to be, but around you...around you it's not too bad. Also, there's this embarrassing school-girl crush I have on a ridiculously handsome telepath, but you wouldn't happen to know anyone like that, would you?" Charles giggled—giggled—and quite adorably, too.

And at that, Charles let his powers off their leash. Contrary to what one might expect, telepathy is not being a 'mind-reader' in the literal sense. It's similar to reading someone's energy, as many thoughts aren't actually articulate—hell, half of them aren't even cognizant. Often times, they're muddy, and different people think in different ways. Charles thinks in feelings (or vibes) and he reads in feelings as a result. This makes it a bit complicated when reading someone who thinks in other methods; for a while, it was like trying to move a muscle that wasn't there. Now, it's simply like translating a second language, i.e he can do it if he wants, but it also expends energy—if he doesn't have that energy, then he can't translate the language, but that doesn't mean he can't hear the language. It's still very intimate to read someone's mind, obviously, and Charles is feeling a bit prudish for blushing like a nun in a sex shop. Although, Erik doesn't seem to mind much.

"What, does he go to another school?"

"Yes; I draw his name in the margins of my notebook," Erik said, as he began traveling down Charles' body. Charles let out a near maniacal laugh, and was far too amused by the joke to notice Erik's movement, until he felt the tongue on his nipple. All laughter was soon forgotten and instead cut off by a wanton moan. Charles nestled his fingers in Erik's hair, gently enough so he could still move freely. Erik continued to lick his way down Charles' lithe body, giving special attention to the few freckles he came across. Suddenly, Erik was being dragged upwards, then flipped onto his back. Charles sat atop him in triumph, seeming to have expected a fight. He began to inch downward, toying with the waistband of Erik's pants. "I'm sorry to cut you off, but I've been wanting this for longer than you can imagine," he drawled, sliding his boxers off torturously slow. "I've been imagining this since you pulled me out of the water," Erik replied through a moan, as his cock was exposed to the cold air.

"I've been imagining this since I read your mind," Charles stated before promptly sucking the ever living shit out of Erik's dick. His head was enveloped in the warmth of Charles' mouth, and Schieße was it good.

Before I pulled you out of the water, Charles added, as if that would change anything. His tongue worked skillfully, and Erik could have sworn that Charles was put on this earth just to drive him mental. Without any prelude, Charles took all of Erik with startling ease—his nose buried in Erik’s auburn nest of wiry hairs. “Schieße…ist gut”, Erik sagte als seine Stimme unglaublich niedrig fiel—and his thoughts fizzled out entirely as Charles moaned around his cock. Erik speaking German? Hot. Charles understanding German? The best decision of his high-school career.

TBC

“Cave Johnson here. I’ve received complaints from anonymous employees that our support of the “homosexual lifestyle” is “degenerate” and “irresponsible”. It really got me thinking and I think I found a solution. So good news! We now have 23 vacated positions reserved for members of the LGBT community. Additional good news, we began a new testing initiative on evolutionary degenration with 23 test subjects all ready to go.“

For y’all who don’t know where this comes from:

Tuskegee—TDLR; “untreated syphillis in the negro male.” Men were promised free health insurance for participating. They did not get it, and many died. This study was conducted by the CDC at Tuskegee University, a university founded by a black man. Years later, they were given that free health insurance, and promised it would pass on through generations. The last person covered under it died in 2004 if I remember right.

Henrietta Lacks—Doctors snatched her cells without asking. Her cells didn’t die, and are still used today. She died in that hospital (John Hopkins), and no one in her family saw a dime.

J.Marion Sims (gynecologist)—he experimented on enslaved women, without anesthesia (of course).

Plus Forced sterilization in the 1900s targeted mostly black women, or people deemed mentally “unfit” to be a mother.

Oh, and racial medical bias today.

Like many of this country’s finest institutions. (x)

please stop trying to make more money off of this site it’s not going to work people are already desensitized to the ads or have adblock

Hey, thanks for the feedback!

We’re exploring more ways of making Tumblr financially sustainable, so we can keep this weird ship afloat. You don’t have to buy into it if you don’t want, but like Matt, current interim Tumblr CEO, said in a recent post:

Remember that right now Tumblr costs a lot more to run than it makes, part of that bet is predicated on the idea that it’s losing money now but it’ll grow and make it up later. We just have to make it through this interim period by listening to users, iterating quickly, and shipping high-quality updates.

Love,

—Cyle (Tumblr Engineering)

I hate bright ass fucking LED headlights or whatever the hell they are

If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won’t give it to you because he’s never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for it, he’s letting you down. This is known as the Astley paradox.

sir this is a Wendy’s

Portals to Hell by hrmphfft

I want to be more masculine so how can I change the way u act to be more like a guy. I remember one time where passed but people found out I was afab because I was more feminine. So how do I come off as a boy, I hope ysll got some advice <3

- A trans

Binding

Clothing

Facial hair

Masculine makeup

Getting short hair / Masculine long hair

Lowering your voice

Passing as male

FTM Guide

If you’re not x group, you don’t get to tell x group shit about themselves. I can assure you, we trans-mascs are aware of the privilege we have over trans femmes, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t oppressed. Do not tell me what my experiences are. Do not pretend like you know our experiences better than we do. Also, as a white LGBT, I apologize on behalf of my ignorant brethren.

honestly there are like...so many parallels between being transmasc and being mixed race. which is why it feels so dang familiar when people on here talk about how "transmascs have privilege over the rest of us" in the face of very real lived experiences to the contrary.

like some of us who are mixed race are white-passing. some of us are not. but sometimes it depends on the culture we're in, sometimes it's literally just a matter of who we're perceived by and whether they know enough to identify that we're different. I remember stretches of my existence where I assumed everyone saw me as white and then suddenly a strange white man comes up to me alone in the park and says "I've always found asian women attractive" and I'm like. oh. right. I will always be the Other to some people.

but then you date an asian person who suddenly tells you "you're white, 100%, white girl, nobody in here sees you as asian" and, sure, not that day, not in san francisco in a vietnamese restaurant. but there's a specific, unique experience of walking that tightrope every single day, wondering how you'll be perceived then, in that room, by that person who has more power than you.

I feel like so much of my life I have dealt with being Othered by white people and simultaneously regarded with suspicion in asian spaces as an outsider, that this whole discourse around "you transmascs can fit in with cis men, you dont need the LGBT community and it doesn't need you" reeks of such bullshit from people whose identities have always neatly fit into a particular box.

and even guys who pass 100% of the time, wherever they are? even completely white passing mixed race people have different lived experiences that continue their whole lives. experiences of being raised by a parent from a minority race/culture, of being with extended family, of observing traditions that are not observed by the majority, of speaking a different language--that to simply defer to their outward appearance is a denial of their familial and personal history.

like. I am absolutely tired of people who are not party to a particular experience deciding that everything about that experience is fine and not as bad and therefore not even deserving of the acknowledgment of its existence. white LGBTs who are spouting this bullshit, your words are very familiar to me and now I know how you'd feel about my race as well. 🙃

IM SCREAMING

Found this on a subreddit and I nearly fucking choked.

I’m autistic and I wear headphones for sensory issues. Doesn’t mean you can be a dick in public. Please, just have the decency to not behave like you’ve never seen the outside world before (and are unaware of basic social etiquette).

my unpopular opinion is that i hate tiktok because now people just publicly watch loud ass videos in public spaces with no regard for anyone else. 100% it was not this bad with youtube, it’s such a different thing with tiktok. put on headphones. you are grown.

I, as an artist, don’t mind—but I also don’t make many comics (that I post). For real though, always ask us, please, please, please ask us if it’s cool.

Please don’t remove the artist’s caption/comment when you reblog a drawing/comic/etc.

I obviously can’t speak for everyone, but in my case the caption is often an addition to the joke, and if you take it away, you take away a part of my comic.

I am Pagan, but I still consider Muslims to be my brothers and sisters.

Muslim brothers and sisters

So I found this app called Scan Halal where you scan the bar code of your food and it tells you if its halal or not. It’s a free app too. Pass this on so others can see and worry a little less about their food/snack choices

Prompts:

For Requests, of course. Here’s my list, feel free to come up with your own. You don’t need to use it if you have other ideas, I love hearing them!/gen.

1.  "I can't keep kissing/fucking strangers and pretending they're you!"

2.  "You've thought about this, haven't you?"

3.  "Prove it."

4.  "I still remember the way you taste."

5.  "You make me want things I can't have."

6.  "You love them, don't you?"

7.  "Touch me."

8.  "You smell nice."

9.  "You're mine."

10.  "So...slow and loving, or hard and punishing?"

11.  "Do it, coward."

12.  "Please, kindly, shut the fuck up.  I can't stand how appealing your voice is."

13.  "I'm tired of being your secret."

14.  "I told you so."

15.  "It's always been you..."

16.  "Because I love you, god dammit!"

17.  "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

18.  "I thought you hated me."

19.  "Don't you even think about touching them."

20.  "Don't let go."

21.  "What the fuck are you doing with my partner?!"

22.  "Just kiss me already."

23.  "I don't know whether to kiss you, or slap you!"

24.  "Stop biting your lip, or else I am going to do it for you."

25.  "If you complain about the weather one more time, I'll give you a real reason to sweat."

26.  "Yell at me again, and I'll give you something to scream about."

27.  "Oh, well fuck me, then."

28.  "I bet you would look even better without those clothes on."

29.  "Is this you trying to flirt with me?"

30.  "How much of that did you hear?"

31.  "What happens if I do this?"

32.  "Please don't shoot me for this."

33.  "Tell me I'm wrong."

34.  "Is that a challenge?"

35.  "I like my clothes better on you."

36.  "That's mine."

37.  "Don't leave my sight again."

38.  "Do you want me to use these handcuffs?"

39.  "That's a first."

40.  "I don't care if you want my help, you're getting it anyway."

41.  "Can I kiss you?"

42.  "You're my favorite thing."

43.  "Don't even think about it."

44.  "Are you single?Asking for a friend."

45.  "What are my chances with you?"

46.  "What if I buy you roses?"

47.  "Why you?"

48.  "How is it that you always know when I'm lying?"

49.  "People as (pretty/handsome/attractive) as you shouldn't be legal."

50.  "Baby, you're shaking."

51.  "Tell me again."

52.  "Say that louder, or I'll make you."

53.  "Will you do it for a kiss?"

54.  "Shh, stop fussing...I'm just braiding your hair."

55.  "Your hugs are my favorite part of the day."

56.  "I think I love you."

57.  "But I want to hear you sing!"

58.  "I like the way your hand fits in mine."

59.  "You don't need a reason, idiot."

60.  "Don't tell them!"

61.  "I don't like them, I like you!"

62.  "Are you jealous?"

63.  "We can't be friends anymore...I will always see you as something else."

64.  "I'm afraid that you'll end up seeing me the way I see myself."

65.  "You'll catch me, yeah?"

66.  "I'm gonna take a shower...you should probably join me, it'll save water."

67.  "I can't stand the way they look at you."

68.  "Is that my shirt?"

69.  "Did I stutter?"

70.  "That's distracting, asshole."

71.  "Your so hot."  "*You're*"

72.  "It's not a double date, we're just both third wheels!"

73.  "I want to marry you."

74.  "They will be mine, whether they like it or not."

75.  "Bite me."

76.  "Do you want to test that theory?"

77.  "D-Did you just check me out?"

78.  "How do you say 'kiss me?'"

79.  "(Y/N), it's fine, you've been running through my mind all day, that's enough exercise."

80.  "I'm in love with you and it's terrifying."

81.  "Your moans are my favorite sound."

82.  "I'm sure we could put those lips to better use."

83.  "Don't mind me, I'm just enjoying the view."

84.  "You like that, don't you?"

85.  "I need you."

86.  "P-Please...s-stop."

87.  "Look at what you did to me! I had to deal with this all day."

88.  "Look at me."

89.  "Do you have any idea what I want to do with you?"

90.  "Did you just kiss me?"

91.  "Do you plan on kissing me, or just staring at my lips like they're your dinner?"

92.  "Were you touching yourself?"

93.  "Oh, it doesn't work that way sweetheart."

94.  "Stomp squirming! You're making it worse."

95.  "I heard that but I'd like for you to say it again or else I'll pretend like I never heard anything."

96.  "Just do it already!"

97.  "Fine! I love (Y/N), okay!"

98.  "Hold still."

99.  "Is this okay?"

100. "There's a thin line between love and hate, and right now, I'm making a fucking circle."

101.  "It's a hobby of mine to prove you wrong."

102.  "Oh, really?"

103.  "Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me."

the xmen being jealous when you’re surrounded by someone else but them would include…

-not beta’d yet. all grammar mistakes are on me😎

Masterlist

Erik Lehnsherr

he raises his brows, clearly surprised that you let another person flirt with you - and how they are flirting!

he takes another sip of his beer, observing the show before he decides to show who you really belong to

he snakes his arm around your waist, kissing your neck, touching you in a way only he does

“and you are?”

he makes it short

and he glares at the person who was flirting

it’s a death glare, really

“i think you should go”

his voice is stern and demanding as he brushes his hair out of his face with his palm

they turn around immediately, not saying a word

“somebody’s jealous?” you mock

“i’m not”

you smile at erik “sure”

Keep reading

Could I request 5 and 19 for Charles and/or Erik? (And could the seat prompt be like, asking to sit on someone’s lap?)

ERIK LEHNSHERR X READER

prompts: “when are you going to quit with the pick-up lines and ask me on a date” and “is this seat free?”

warnings: bad pick up lines and unedited (not actual warnings just be prepared)

-

your relationship with erik was weird.

it was more than known to people that he was an isolated person who didn’t trust easy. even when he met his own son, he was the exact same.

but he never seemed to have that need to be on edge with you. it was always like he had no worries in the world.

not like he would ever admit it, though.

-

“are you a keyboard? because you’re my type.”

erik laughed as you sat down next to him, “you never quit do you?”

“never. also, are you a pack of cards?”

“…no?”

“oh because i’ve pulled out my king.”

“for fucks sa-“

-

and it kept going.

you loved seeing the way he would get ‘aggravated’ at every one of your dumb pick up lines.

“knock knock.”

erik sighed, setting down his book and putting his head in his hands, “who’s there?” he mumbled into his hands.

“when where.”

“when where who?”

“tomorrow, wherever the fuck you want, me and you.”

“the doors over there.” he lifted his head up to point over to the door, making you laugh.

-

it was friday night and charles had arranged a small party for the mansion.

to be honest, it was more of a gathering. just the mutants having a good time for once in their ‘busy’ lives. because it was so undeniably hard living in such a huge mansion.

your eyes settled on the one and only man you ever wanted to see once you walked through the door.

picking up a free drink from the table, you walked over to erik.

“is this seat free?” you asked, pointing to his lap.

he looked down at where you were pointing and looked back up to your eyes, slightly flustered for the ‘majorly serious’ guy.

“is this another one of your pick up lines?” erik groaned.

“nope.”

he was shocked to say the least, “well, it’s always free for you.”

you smiled, trying to fight the light blush that was making its way to your face.

“in that case.” you sat on his lap (this wasn’t as awkward as it sounded i swear).

erik secured his arms around your waist and pulled you flush to him, “when are you going to quit with the pick up lines and ask me on a date?”

you were completely taken aback, “what-“

“do i need to do everything myself?”

“erik, i-“

“are you free tomorrow?”

you took a breath and laughed lightly when you let it out, happily surprised that your dumb lines had made an influence.

“always…for you…” you copied what he said earlier, making him chuckle hoarsely and meet his lips with yours.

you sank into the kiss and it literally felt like a dream.

a dream you didn’t want to wake up from.

-

sorry it’s so late and short i’ve been busy recently 😭