Printers: Now With Attitude

what I imagine heterosexual marriage to be like

brad: hey hon, whats for dinner

susan: vegetable soup

brad: 

susan: what

brad: its just that I had a really long day at work and I was hoping for a little more than….vegetable soup

susan: im fucking your brother

This reminds me of the time my old roommate asked me to cut an apple for the dish he was making and the absolute, utter disappointment in his eyes when he looked over and saw me cutting it with a fillet knife.

He did most of the cooking after that because apparently I “couldn’t be trusted with basic tasks” or whatever.

There are many aspects of male culture that I wasn’t expecting once I started passing, but one of the ones that confused me the most was how many guys wanted to shake my hand??? Like, this is not a job interview my guy, we are in a d&d store??

something u need to understand about me is that me and my brain are NOT friends and she is NOT helpful to me. bitch gives me all these thoughts and feelings and is like "deal with these for me will u?" GIRL YOU'RE LITERALLY THE GUY IN CHARGE

A well playing job, countless new friends, *and* I can legally threaten bitchy customers with an iron rod? Where do I sign?

I’ll keep them graves so spotless you’ll be able to see the reflection of your dead loved ones standing hauntingly behind you.

As someone who is rapidly approaching 30, if I can share just one price of advice I’ve learned as an adult it’s that life is so unserious you guys.

As an AuDHD trans man with several anxiety disorders, believe me I understand how stressful it can be to navigate the world, constantly feeling like everyone else knows exactly what they’re doing. When I was younger I used to equate this to feeling like life was a stage play and everyone had a script but me (I’ve probably posted something similar on this site at some point). But I’ve got news for you, we are all just out here winging it.

Life is not a stage play, life is a collage improve class and the teacher has left the room. So just relax and try to have some fun while we all “yes and” our way through this train wreck of a performance.

Favourite songs too short? Turn your favourite song into a 2-hour album with just one simple trick! Passengers in the car are gonna love it!

Maybe he has a hoarding problem maybe he doesn’t. You’ll never know unless you open the box.

All my strait friends keep coming to me when they have questions about gay people and I’m just like

Guys, I am one lone lesbian.

I am not the lorax of the gays.

I do not speak for all the LGBTs