Concept: Faebook 

Prosecution: Your honor, the defendant has been scamming people into buying fake “immortality elixirs” for years!

Defense: Objection! Your honor, the defense requests the prosecution specify exactly how many years?

Prosecution: Gladly, your honor. As you can see from the arrest records submitted into evidence, the defendant has had the audacity to continue committing this felony for 148 years!

Judge: I’m sorry, did I hear that correctly? The defendant has been selling immortality elixirs for 148 years?!

Prosecution: Yes, your honor, the earliest documented arrest was in 1886.

Judge: It’s 2014.

Prosecution: Yes, your honor.

Judge: And you don’t see anything weird about that? Anything at all?

Defense: In light of this stupidity, the defense demands the immediate release of my client followed by a drop of all charges and would like to file a lawsuit against the arresting officer for slander.

Judge: Yes. Right. Bailiff, please release the defendant. Oh, and bring me any of the elixirs taken into evidence.

Maybe he has a hoarding problem maybe he doesn’t. You’ll never know unless you open the box.

Time to go dig up another grave! You know, for science...

Currently fighting the trans masculine urge to cut the sleeves off all my shirts

gay ppl be like yea these are my comfort characters *literal ray of sunshine*, *murderer*, *war criminal*, *six feet under*

In my best *NSYNC impersonation: 🎶It’s gonna be gay 🎶

#Catch me at the stegosaurus concert

A well playing job, countless new friends, *and* I can legally threaten bitchy customers with an iron rod? Where do I sign?

I’ll keep them graves so spotless you’ll be able to see the reflection of your dead loved ones standing hauntingly behind you.

love to purchase items but at what cost

The younger generations aren’t here to mess around