Time To Go Dig Up Another Grave! You Know, For Science...

Group projects be like

I asked you to “sign me the fuck up”, not “assign me the fuck-up,”

It is our duty as feminists to protect and respect women in Hijabs

SEA what i did there?

Anyone else feels like they overshare everything with others and at the very same time haven’t opened up at all to anyone

The 4th of July approaches, Americans, you know what that means:

It’s time to play Fireworks or Gunshots: patriot edition

And for those of us in Florida, the very special:

Fireworks or Gunshots: Floridian Patriots Deluxe Edition

5 points for every correct fireworks guess; 10 points for every correct gunshot guess. Each incorrect guess is -5 points. Unconfirmed guesses will be decided by majority vote. If you are playing alone, a coin flip can be substituted for said vote. All points and deductions are doubled for the states where both are illegal

Feel free to post your scores and compare; anything is more fun when you share it with a bunch of strangers on the internet, or at least that’s what a stranger on the internet told me

A bunch of kids messing with a ouija board: we call upon the spirits!

The ghost of a teenager who died in 2002: *snikering* Bro, I’m gonna tell them I’m a Victorian royal murdered by my husband.

His buddy, laughing: Yo, tell them you never got revenge so now you’re gonna murder them instead.

The ghost: Oh, hell yeah! Classic man!

the issue w/ ouija boards is that ghosts are LIARS and RELISH in your sorrows 

Hey, trama + time = comedy

So this’ll probably be hilarious in like, 10 years

I was only at the Devil’s sacrament for the gossip I swear!

hah, witch! why you mad? because my eldritch blasts severely and yours don't?

I’ve always been a bit of a kleptomaniac, but to this day I’ve never taken anything that made any logical sense. For example:

A wrench off the top of a fire hydrant

A coil of rope from behind a dumpster (it wasn’t dirty)

A big ass tree branch I carried for two miles that barely fit in my friend’s car; reaching from the driver’s seat through the little door thing and into the trunk

A broken piano from the side of the road that I dragged toward my house for half a mile before giving up (pianos are heavy)