Curate, connect, and discover
Real Life - Blog Posts
I’m not gonna lie that’s actually creepy 😀
Excerpt from a text convo between two Friends who both have BPD:
*edited for typos and clarity*
[...] I will do what Is in my nature to do.
I will beg the frog to take me to the other side of the river.
The frog will say no because it knows it cannot trust me.
And I will say: "you can trust me because if I sting you I too will drown".
And with its last ghasping drowning breath the frog will ask me: "why?" and I will say:
"Because it's in my nature".
As a person with BPD, I deeply identify with the scorpion in that story. I don't start out wanting to hurt the people that are helping me. I don't start out thinking about how much pain I can cause.
I ask for help from people who should know better than to trust me and I make it very difficult for them to do what I asked.
"Let yourself be loved", said my mother as she squeezed and pinched and bruied us with her hugs and kisses.
Don't be a "Limosnero con garrote" (begger with a club), my parents would tell us. They often found it difficult to meet our needs. And somehow, that was our fault.
Can a scorpion live without its stinger? Can a beggar carry a club? Can I stop hurting?
Saving myself for dinosaurs
I didn’t see this on my dash at all yesterday or the day before, which made me sad, so I’m posting about it now.
That handsome young man right there? That’s Kwasi Enin, a high school student who was accepted to all eight Ivy League schools. Not one or two, but ALL OF THEM.
The 17-year-old violist and aspiring physician applied to all eight [Ivy League schools], from Brown to Yale.
The responses began rolling in over the past few months, and by late last week when he opened an e-mail from Harvard, he found he’d been accepted to every one. School district officials provided scanned copies of acceptance letters from all eight Monday. Yale confirmed that it was holding a spot for Enin. (x)
Kwasi is 11th in a class of 647 at William Floyd in New York, meaning he’s in the top 2% of his class. He scored 2,250 out of 2,400 points on the SAT. And by the time this kid graduates, he’ll have taken 11 AP courses. He’s also a musician who sings in his school’s a capella group and volunteers in his local hospital’s radiation department.
I just wanted to highlight this kid and his amazing achievements. He’s the kind of future our world needs.
I spent my entire childhood believing I was ugly/misshapen because I had fat on the inside of my legs - there was no gap between my thighs like most other girls I knew. I would sit in cars wedged between 3 - 4 other girls from my soccer team, staring down at my legs and horrified by how chubby...
Look at them goo
you go girl they're here for the vibes
Olá Novembro, realmente sem expectativas, apenas me dê só o teu melhor
Se eu não confio nem em mim, não esperes que eu confie em ti!
Wow so unrequited feelings fuckbuddies is not as fun irl as it is in fanfic
The Curse of Creativity and the suffering of artists:
"There are tons of people who are just as good as me." - Seiji Amasawa, Whisper of the heart (1995)
Ghibli movies have always had a huge impact on me. Full of quiet sensibilities and easily understood complex concepts; Ghibli movies made my childhood and the person I am today. And despite the cuteness of Totoro, the innocence of Ponyo, the quirky weirdness of Howl's moving castle (the themes of that movie are so intricate too) or the message about hardwork and burnout in Kiki's delivery service, there is one movie that remains in my heart (no pun intended)
"Whisper of the Heart" has taught me so much about myself and the path I am headed. It is the most beautiful, soul-crushing movie I have ever watched not because it has wars and the death of loved ones but because it is relatable and grounded. I can see myself in Shizuko and Seiji, I understand their struggles and dreams. I smiled with them and I cried for them. I related to Shizuko's struggle to see her writing as anything good and Seiji's belief that despite his achievements he isn't anywhere near as good at his skills as some other people.
This movie made me think about the saying I so often hear "Don't suffer for your dreams". While I scoffed at it when an adult said that to me first, now that I am much older and hopefully wiser, the words struck me not as nagging but as a warning.
Suffering doesn't equal great art, some people think that only those who are depressed and mentally ill can make great art, which is completely false. (Although I don't blame those people as many great artists and writers were actually mentally ill, it's not the only thing that makes one a great artist!) You don't have to suffer to be a great artist, you just have to be creative and work hard, there's nothing more to that.
When I was in my most depressed state during the last two years of high school, I wasn't writing or working hard on my book. I was staring at the wall wishing I would disappear. Overcoming that depression led me to write better, work harder, chase my dreams with passion.
During the times where I am stuck in a chapter I can't get through and my brain goes blank, I think to myself if I am actually a good writer or I have been just treading the waters of talent that I don't have. When people call me talented, it makes me squirm, it takes away my hardwork and effort.
Being a creative person is not easy, it's not all sunshine and rainbows where you are constantly getting new ideas. Sometimes it makes my head hurt. Acting on your ideas is not easy. I can think all I want but when it comes to actually writing that idea, I freeze.
Being an artistic person makes you feel self conscious. If anyone will like what I do? Will someone criticize me? What if no one likes my work? What if they judge me? There's someone who is better than me, why should I even bother?
Creativity isn't just a blessing, it's also a curse. It's a double-edged sword.
You should try to achieve the best but not make it your end goal. Life is so much more than success, fame and material goods. I don't write for any of those things, I write for myself and the people I care for. Even if I don't end up publishing any of my novels, I would still write. Never stop dreaming and become monotonous, you don't have to make sure your hobbies earn you money, they should give you peace and happiness.
There are times when I spend too much time in front of my computer typing out another new story when I stop and think back at those words, I don't feel dispassionate, suffering won't make me happy, writing whatever I want would. So I type ahead for some more minutes and take a break. I indulge in the world that I create in my books and make characters that I love more deeply than human beings, but I don't want it to become my life. I would still do normal everyday things and talk to normal everyday people. Work-life balance is utter bullshit and too idealistic, but making sure your work doesn't consume your life is what matters.
Even if I do end up getting an ordinary job and not making my hobby a career, I would not be disappointed.
I am ready to live a life of rationality and pragmatism but I will never accept monotony.
Theories and Headcannons Pt.11
So this theory is basically how Real Life is Third Life created by the Watchers as a punishment for Grian and his group of friends or the other contestants.
After the success of the previous Life Series games that provived enough pain, anguish and drama to satisfy the Watchers, they decided to create a rendition of Third Life to torture Grian once again as afterall by lore standards, it was Grian who first created Third Life.
The twist the Watchers decided to implace onto Real Life where to incoporate compeititors such as Pearl who had a persona who would be easily influenced by bloodlust and dispose of the competitors that they had deemed too weak or ineffecient. This was all done in an attempt to replicate the feeling of torture and anguish at Grian and the other original contestants during Third Life.
But this ultimately failed as Real Life ended quickly through the combined efforts of the contestants crowning Cleo as the new victor. Completing the sextet of winners all linked together through their soul-link bonds. And having the Watchers fail in their endeavour to replecate Third Life as another death game punishment.
Went on a trip recently but I'm not fond of showing my face.
So here is my Lego Harley Quinn at Niagara Falls!
Clearer shot of the falls.
Selfie at places are nice, but let's have our favorite toys join in on the action! Share your Pic of your figurine or toy at a place instead of the face! Just get a good grip on them before you snap!☺️
I felt like an alien pretending to be human when I was engaged. Like "here you should want to do this and you should feel joy about this thing etc".
The biggest “your experiences are not universal” thing I feel is whenever anyone talks about the universality of girls planning their weddings since childhood because. Well. Not me. God bless
that's how popee the performer zine i worked on together with other amazing artists look in my copy of it
Dear LGBTQ+ Community
I would like to preface this by stating that I have absolutely no intention of offending any of you, if I do, it is completely unintentional, please let me know what I did so that I can fix it, but please also be patient with me, I am simply a lot curious, a little confused, and possessing an intense hatred for my own ignorance in almost anything. Also, disclaimer, y'all were essentially demonized to me from the moment I was born, I never had any irl exposure to your community, all of my knowledge comes from tumblr and ao3, so, if I say something wrong, please, please be gentle?
That said, I had some questions, if any of y'all'd be ok with answering?
A) I read an article that referred to someone was both bi and lesbian, but I thought bi people were the ones who were attracted to guys and girls, and lesbians were only attracted to guys? I don't understand, you can be both?
B) I know that aro and ace are different things, but does that mean there are two entirely different fields? like you could have someone who's biromantic, but heterosexual? or vice versa?
C) How do you pronounce xe? I honestly do not know. I'd've guessed you'd pronounce it like the 'x' in Xerxes, but I know some people go by ze, so it'd make more for it to be pronounced differently, but I can't think of how?
D) I've read fics where FtM trans people broke their ribs because they wore binders too tightly/for too long. Is... is this real? Please tell me it's not real, that sounds scary dangerous, and I really don't want y'all getting hurt, please say it's an exaggeration
E) I've gotten conflicting information, if you're asexual, do you dislike sex, are you neutral about it, is it something else?
F) I've also read a thing that had an asexual character who was sexually attracted to one person they were already romantically attracted to, but isn't that demisexual?
G) For poly groups, how do break-ups work? Is there a vote? This has been keeping me up for days, I just can't think of how it'd go?
H) I think that open relationships are are supposed to be romantic for those in it, and purely sexual for the others who get involved, whereas poly relationships are both romantic and sexual, and sleeping with someone outside the group would be cheating. Could someone please confirm or correct?
I) If you are only attracted to people you have a romantic attraction towards, that means you're demi, right?
J) If every romantic relationship I take part in ends up reinforcing the fact that there is a good chance I am simply incapable of forming lasting romantic relationships, probably due to my ignorance of how to interact with people matched with my belief that it won't last anyway and the fact that there is not a single person whom I trust enough to share every side of myself, am I demi? Aro? Is it just the trust and abandonment issues mixed with unrealistic expectations? I don't think I'm asexual, but I've only ever been attracted to a couple of people I know? I still want someone and I want a relationship like ones I've seen or read about, but I'm also very much a loner? Like, I was homeschooled without extracurriculars and now I'm in college, and I don't know how to be around people? I want people, but being around them too long makes me feel like having a panic attack? Am I only getting into romantic relationships due to being starved for praise and affection? How do I know?!?!?
Sorry, that kind of devolved at the end, but, um. Yeah. If any of y'all would be willing to please help, that'd be very much appreciated. Thank you. Sorry for bugging you.
-Elizabeth