Demon: Youre A Bitch

AKA any deer seen in the Midwest while drunk

A deer that seems to be following you.

All right mirror me, roll perception

Having problems finding new players?

Just hurl dice at the mirror until your reflection starts pulling its weight and stats up an Elf Ranger.

With the way 2020 has been going, this sounds more like a prophecy at this point, and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised

There were oddly shaped giant squids who could hijack the human neural system. That’s why going around at night outside the gates of my campus alone was deadly. I had to leave, though, because it was better than the ghosts and whatever else I had accidentally set free from under the school floorboards previously.

Currently fighting the trans masculine urge to cut the sleeves off all my shirts

Hey, trama + time = comedy

So this’ll probably be hilarious in like, 10 years

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In english,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.” - A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

Also, I like that the myth specifically states Medusa turns any man who looks at her eyes into stone, because when I first heard it my brain automatically decided Medusa was a lesbian and I’ve just had that in my brain for so long that it’s canon now

if medusa wears sunglasses do u not turn to stone

America is a theme park and Florida is the zoo

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

I become more and more of a conspiracy theorist every time I learn something new about the government

Tiktok is making a whole bunch of claims that you shouldn’t curse the government because they have ‘ancient dark magicks that is so much more powerful then us and did we mention Ancient and Dark and every person talking about this spells it magick’ and something about the cia doing astral projection? and I feel like you’d find this funny caretaker

ACTUALLY THAT'S REAL

IM NOT EVEN JOKING THE CIA TRIED TO TRAIN PEOPLE TO SCRY BACK IN THE 50s BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT THE RUSSIANS WERE DOING IT IT TIES INTO THE MKULTRA STUFF

THEY DONT HAVE SORCERERS ANYMORE SO YOU CAN CURSE THEM

people will look at classic dystopian sci-fi like "wow how did the author predict this would happen" and the answer is they didn't. they hoped and hoped this wouldn't happen. (some of them, the lucky few perhaps, even died believing the worst had been averted.) these writers took a look at terrible things happening around them, and imagined a future where these terrible things dominated and warped reality, and they held it up to the audience and said "see? does this future not appall you??? it has already begun."

dystopian fiction isn't a prediction. it is a warning and a PLEA