Just Tried To Play An Ancient Flute And It Started Filling The Room With This Awful Miasma That Wont

America is a theme park and Florida is the zoo

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

I didn’t ask “what?” because I didn’t hear you, my brain still runs on internet explorer and the information hasn’t loaded yet

Lost Girl feeds my lesbian soul

Credit to ArtSpear Entertainment

Director: How should we show the newfound power and confidence these girls have? The sheer empowerment they feel?

Intern: Have them walk confidently and react to situations without being self conscious because they feel comfortable with who they are and know they don’t need to change themselves because they’re already perfect just the way they are.

Director: *blank stare*

Intern: Change everything about them and make them look like sluts?

Director: Brilliant! Make it happen!

*heavy sarcasm* Oh gee, I wonder

My brain, having a meltdown like a toddler: everything is bad and awful and I absolutely refuse to function in these working conditions *dumps a shitload of adrenaline into the nervous system*

Me, sighing heavily and holding up lorazepam: would ya do it for a Scooby snack?