R3v3rie - ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Reverie ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

if what’s happening is what i think is happening i will literally just lose my MIND.

i’m going to start screaming and crying pretty soon. like i am so SO tired of caring SO much for people who don’t even have the courtesy to officially end things.

i just keep getting abandoned over and over and over again and i will end up in the psych ward oh my god.

it’s so crazy how you think you forget something but your body just remembers. had a trauma flashback yesterday abt my residential stay which i thought was weird and sure as shit, two years ago today i was shipped off to nashville.

i completely had no idea the exact date but apparently i never forgot.

i miss you, but also fuck you.

bpd is a bitch. miss you forever and always michael, im sorry i truly am, wish i knew what i did so i could atleast try to be better.

Had a session about why closure is hard today, both because of him and because of me. Wrote another goodbye letter. I can't bring myself to post most of it but here was the ending. A proof of existence if you will.

call me crazy but i think nightly hypnotherapy might actually be helping?? like i notice i just wake up sm more pleasant when i do it vs when i don’t?? do i actually go find a real hypnotherapist now??

I know I don't talk much about my practice or worship much here as this blog is mostly just mental illness venting in a prettier format, but today I feel connected to my gods and that is a wonderful thing. To be able to hear the existentialism lectures in my philosophy class and know that I no longer can buy into such a way of thinking is lovely. I sit there like "this is interesting n all but my gods are here! I am not some abandoned spec of dust in this big universe!!"

So here is a digital thank you to my gods, for many things that I will never be able to adequately explain and express.

strawberry smoke, watching hockey, reading good books, ice skating, the best dessert i’ve ever had in my entire life- life is so wonderful with him <3

“always a death knell, never a dove”