Some Cute Stuff, Because I Want So

*Dismissing Cicero*

Cicero, somewhat upset: Oh, of course! Mother needs me after all…

Listener: That’s not why I’m dismissing you, I’m dismissing you so you can get some fuckin sleep you self deprecating little shit

this stupid fuck has been rotating in my mind so im here to share it w yall

Dazai doesnt belong in the pm. he never did. heres why

in the pm, dazai calls chuuya his "dog". akutagawa is referred to as "the rabid dog of the port mafia". when we first meet akutagawa, he calls higuchi "a useless cur" (cur means an agressive dog or one in poor condition). we can see that the port mafia is full of dogs.

in The Day I Picked Up Dazai, oda refers to seeing dazai as a stray cat (i think). almost every headcanon associates dazai with being a black or stray (or both) cat.

and then we have the ada.

one of their employees litterly turns into a tiger. the president is obsessed with cats.

in the pm, dazai was a stray cat in a den of dogs. thats why he fits in/cares about the ada. he fits there, feels at home.

Random origins headcanons

Wilbur leans firmly into the whole “ghost” bit now, but when he was younger, being called a ghost kinda rubbed him the wrong way. He firmly believes that, while phantoms are real and based in science, “ghosts” are not and he’s conducted several investigations into their existence to prove it. However he still enjoys ghost-hunting as an activity to do with friends, even if he knows it’s a pointless venture. Everyone else is just amused by the existence of a ghost-hunting ghost.

Adding onto this post, Fundy occasionally spits things up by accident. Everyone could be chilling around the Pube, relaxing after a hard day’s work, when Fundy starts choking on his drink and next thing you know Scott discovers what happened to his fortune 3 diamond pick that went missing. If Fundy steals something from you and you’re desperate enough to get it back, just pick him up and start squeezing him like a squeaky toy. You might not find exactly what you’re looking for, but you’re sure to get plenty of other random shit.

Also Fundy’s body works with absolute cartoon logic- to store larger items in his stomach he can unhinge his jaw, and as he swallows it his body will momentarily retain the shape of the object before shrinking back down to its normal size.

Charlie is semi-solid, so he can also store things inside himself by just shoving them through his skin, but they always get covered in slime. Also unwanted things can end up in there so sometimes he’ll just be walking around full of rocks and twigs, maybe a squirrel or two.

Ranboo has noodle arms which he can extend the length of at will.

If he’s out at night or while it’s raining, Tubbo gets really weak and tired and sometimes just passes out. One time Ranboo got caught in the rain and forgot about this, so he messaged Tubbo asking him if he could bring an umbrella. He waited beneath a tree for nearly thirty minutes before Tubbo finally came slowly buzzing up, handing him the umbrella before immediately passing out. Ranboo, grateful but a bit exasperated, carried him home beneath one arm.

Tommy compulsively makes flower crowns when he’s upset (which is pretty often). Tubbo has a chest full of them and is almost always wearing one (for the saturation ofc).

The only way for Tommy to sneak up on someone is by slow-falling onto them because his chicken talons click every time he walks.

Jack has “hair” like Hades from the Disney Hercules movie- it’s a little flame on the crown of his head that can be extinguished, leaving him bald. Jack honestly doesn’t mind it when his hair goes out, but everyone else finds it hilarious for some reason.

Jack’s glasses are prescription because netherfolks’ eyes are generally more sensitive to bright light.

Scott’s eyes normally glow, but when he gets paralyzed and blinded by damage they temporarily fizzle out. Also when he falls back to earth after using his jump boost, he sometimes gets a little comet tail trailing behind him.

Scott likes to hang out both on the roof of the Pube and near the void because the unobstructed view of the stars reminds him of home.

i fucked around on a random incorrect quote generator but with sbi/bee duo/chuckle sammie

(made with this)

SBI

Phil: I think we're missing something.

Wilbur: Teamwork?

Techno: Cohesion?

Tommy: A general sense of what we’re doing?

-

(Phil's helping Wilbur out after they get injured, while the others are watching)

Techno: How does Wilbur look?

Tommy: A little better than you, actually.

-

Phil: Tonight, one of you will betray us.

Wilbur: Is it me, Phil?

Phil: No, it’s not you.

Techno: Is it me, Phil?

Phil: It’s not you either.

Tommy: Is it me, Phil?

Phil:

Phil, mockingly: Is IT mE Phil?

-

Phil: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Wilbur: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Techno: I personally was created in a lab.

Tommy: I just straight up spawned lol.

-

Phil: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Wilbur: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Techno: I got distracted about halfway through.

Tommy: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

-

Phil: Why is Wilbur so sad?

Techno: They took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Phil: And...?

Wilbur: I got Tommy.

-

Phil: You know those things will kill you, right?

Wilbur, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Techno, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Tommy: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

-

Phil: *Gently taps table*

Wilbur: *Taps back*

Tommy: What are they doing?

Techno: Morse code.

Phil: *Aggressively taps table*

Wilbur: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

-

Phil: Can I be frank with you guys?

Wilbur: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Tommy: Can I still be Tommy?

Techno: Shh, let Frank speak.

-

Bee Dou

Tubbo, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me

Ranboo, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

-

Tubbo: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Ranboo: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

-

Tubbo: A theif.

Ranboo: Thief?

Tubbo: Theif.

Ranboo: I before E, except after C.

Tubbo: Thceif.

Ranboo: No.

-

Tubbo: I made tea.

Ranboo: I don’t want tea.

Tubbo: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Ranboo: Then why are you telling me?

Tubbo: It is a conversation starter.

Ranboo: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Tubbo: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

-

Tubbo: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Ranboo: What did you do?

Tubbo: Nobody died.

Ranboo: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

-

Tubbo: Ranboo and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Ranboo: Sentences.

Tubbo: Don't interrupt me.

-

Tubbo: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Ranboo: Thank you

Tubbo: I didn't say that was a good thing

Ranboo: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

-

Tubbo: Change is inedible.

Ranboo: Don't you mean inevitable?

Tubbo, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

-

Tubbo, talking to Ranboo on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Ranboo: You bet!

Tubbo: At what temperature?

Ranboo: 535.

Tubbo: That's the clock.

Ranboo:

Tubbo:

Ranboo: 536.

-

Chuckle Sandwich

Charlie, whispering to Ted, who’s on the phone with Schlatt: Ask them something!

Ted: How are you feeling?

Schlatt: Fine.

Charlie: Something personal!

Ted: At what age did you first get your period?

-

(The squad is trying to con some random guy)

Charlie: Um, Ted, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?

Ted: We need money!

Charlie: You're scamming him?

Ted: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?

Charlie: What?! No way!

Ted: Why not? We already stole Schlatt!

Schlatt: Hey guys

Charlie: No, we didn't. Schlatt can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want!

Schlatt: I wanna steal

-

Charlie: You have to apologize to Ted

Schlatt: Fine.

Schlatt: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

-

Charlie: Hey Ted,

Ted: Yes?

Charlie: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Ted:

Ted: Where’s Schlatt?

-

Charlie: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Ted: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Schlatt: In that case, we're definitely lost.

-

Charlie: If you had to choose between Ted and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Schlatt: That depends, how much money are we talking about?

Ted: Schlatt!

Charlie: 63 cents.

Schlatt: I'll take the money.

Ted: SCHLATT!!!

-

Ted: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Schlatt: How am I supposed to know?

Charlie: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge.

Schlatt: *sighs*

Schlatt: You wouldn't be trapped.

-

Schlatt: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.

Ted, amazed: Wow...

Charlie, to Ted: Well what does that mean?

Ted: I don't know.

Ted, to Schlatt: What does that mean?

-

Ted: If Schlatt and I were drowning, who would you save?

Charlie: You two can’t swim?

Schlatt: It’s a hypothetical question, Charlie! who would you save?

Charlie: my time and effort.

-

Ted, driving Schlatt and Charlie: So how was your day?

Charlie: We almost got surprise adopted!

Ted: What?

Schlatt: We almost got kidnapped.

Ted: Oh, okay.

Ted: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

-

Ted: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Schlatt: The cow???

Ted: What?

Charlie: Schlatt, W H Y?

DSMP Characters as cc!Ranboo quotes

Sam: “no juice for those who live in solitude”

Tommy: “so like… when is it my turn to be happy?”

Badboyhalo: “if you’re listening to an inspirational speaker your life is probably not good”

Technoblade: “actually i haven’t done anything wrong ever and you can ask my apologists about that” (bonus: “pickaxe power”)

Quackity: “don’t quote me on that because i am right” (bonus: “dont run with scissors except for when you do”)

Dream: “this ones double sided!” (bonus: “all the nuts and the wrenches are just loose in the box”)

George:  *spins in a chair doing absolutely nothing for five minutes*

Sapnap: “i feel the overwhelming urge to scream at every single moment”

Tubbo: “is this a detonator? this looks like i could just press the button and– *presses button*”

Fundy: “avoid daddys love!”

Punz: “what i want you to do if you sponsor me is give me free stuff and then require me to never talk about your product again”

Wilbur: “yeah- more more more power poWER POWER”

Philza: “i am going to KILL my own child.” (bonus: “do not pay to adopt me”)

Puffy: “im pretty sure i can just do this. *fails* nope never mind i cannot do that.”

Foolish: “as long as they help us make tastier cakes i really do not mind having my soul taken. [pause] i do mind having my soul taken actually.” (bonus: “how did you die so quickly?”)

Jack: “woah there i bet you didn’t expect me to come from the floor”

Ranboo: “take deep breaths? i am… dying already”

Bonus Alyssa bc idk who she is but she used to be on the server: “i need to stop playing minecraft”

Layla: what are you playing?

Marc: I'm playing poker, Steven's playing go fish and I think Jake is just hungry

The Eighth Doctor was born in a mortuary cooler, and regenerated whilst undead at the behest of the remains of the long-dead old order of Gallifrey. Fascinating how he had so much life to him when he was so surrounded by death.

He's plotting

Jekyll: Jasper-- Jasper, hey Jasper, Jasper listen to me-

Jasper: I- Yes??

Jekyll: What do you call a werewolf that knows a lot of things?

Jasper: I... Don't know?

Jekyll: An... AWARE-wolf :D:D:D

Jasper: I...

Jekyll: Get it??? Aware like WERE-

Jasper: Sir, please, I get it, but when was the last time you slept?

Jekyll: I have NO IDEA :D:D:D:D

Can I say, my favorite thing I've experienced in mcyt

My perception of tubbo from only watching Tommy: a nice quiet kid, who goes along with whatever his frineds want to do.

Actually starts watching Tubbo: this kid is an agent of chaos.