[bench Trio Putting Camera At Their Eye Levels]

And now your weekly compilation of weird ass dream smp quotes (7):

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Tommy: I love boobs

Wilbur: Fuck Tommy you said love!!!!

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Tommy: oh I was trying to avoid the 'E' in craft

Wilbur: There is no 'E' in craft!

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[As Tubbo, Tommy, Niki and Jack scream behind him]

George: ITS NOT LORE!

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[Ranboo joined the game]

Ghostbur: fuck off

Ranboo: K

[Ranboo left the game]

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Tommy: what is a violent salamander?

Tommy: its got a gamer tag

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Bonus:

Tommy on camera: DRUGS, SEX, WOMANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

Tommy off camera: Why hello sir, it is nice to meet you. I'll have your daughter home by 8 :)

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Mikey's first word was "Daddy," followed by about ten minutes of giggling as Splinter cried over him. It was immediately followed by "eat."

Leo's first words were: "Daddy, he doesn't like the yellow one," after Splinter dared to try and feed Donnie pineapple when the twins were three. Splinter was so flabbergasted that he took Leo's word on what Donnie liked until they were fourteen (he was never wrong, but Splinter wanted to get better at knowing his kids).

Donnie's first word was "Blue," said in the most heartbreaking whimper while he was sick and therefore separated from his brothers; Leo has never let him live it down. He was only a little over a year old, but had always been vocal about what he did and did not want.

Raph didn't speak until he was ten; his first words were "Step off, bitch!" At a stranger who tried to pick Mikey up while they were playing near the sewer grate.

Steven: Let's get a birthday cake!

Marc: But our birthday isn't even this month?

Steven, whispering: The cake won't know that.

Marc:

Marc: Valid. Let's get two.

He ate too many chicken nuggies

DSMP Characters as cc!Ranboo quotes

Sam: “no juice for those who live in solitude”

Tommy: “so like… when is it my turn to be happy?”

Badboyhalo: “if you’re listening to an inspirational speaker your life is probably not good”

Technoblade: “actually i haven’t done anything wrong ever and you can ask my apologists about that” (bonus: “pickaxe power”)

Quackity: “don’t quote me on that because i am right” (bonus: “dont run with scissors except for when you do”)

Dream: “this ones double sided!” (bonus: “all the nuts and the wrenches are just loose in the box”)

George:  *spins in a chair doing absolutely nothing for five minutes*

Sapnap: “i feel the overwhelming urge to scream at every single moment”

Tubbo: “is this a detonator? this looks like i could just press the button and– *presses button*”

Fundy: “avoid daddys love!”

Punz: “what i want you to do if you sponsor me is give me free stuff and then require me to never talk about your product again”

Wilbur: “yeah- more more more power poWER POWER”

Philza: “i am going to KILL my own child.” (bonus: “do not pay to adopt me”)

Puffy: “im pretty sure i can just do this. *fails* nope never mind i cannot do that.”

Foolish: “as long as they help us make tastier cakes i really do not mind having my soul taken. [pause] i do mind having my soul taken actually.” (bonus: “how did you die so quickly?”)

Jack: “woah there i bet you didn’t expect me to come from the floor”

Ranboo: “take deep breaths? i am… dying already”

Bonus Alyssa bc idk who she is but she used to be on the server: “i need to stop playing minecraft”

Jaskier: I'll get over it, I just have to be dramatic first.

I can't move🥺

Coach: What does your gut tell you?

Scott: 'Go ask Stiles, he'll know what to do'.

I don't Cicero post very often anymore but it's so funny to imagine this twink ass Imperial jester outrunning a WEREWOLF from Falkreath to Dawnstar, and managing to incapacitate said WEREWOLF equally if not worse than the werewolf was able to inflict upon him, a twink ass Imperial jester.

Interviewer to Stiles: So what is it like to marry someone way, way, WAY out of your league?

Derek grabbing the mic: Amazing. I never thought I would be this happy. So glad he gave me a chance.