Hyde: Don't Underestimate My Power!

Jake: I can stop whenever I want.

Steven: Then stop.

Jake: I don't want.

God I need Crystal's wardrobe.

Dean: If you hurt my brother, I’ll fucking kill you and-

Gabriel: Yeah Yeah Yeah, whatever boss man. I have no intention on hurting Sammy. To be honest, I’m more scared of your mom.

Dean:

Dean: no, that’s fair.

Skyrim/Witcher Crossover - Cicero Fuckeries

alright so i’m gonna make this its own post since I have a lot in mind for this specific lil scenario, and i don’t want to make a too big a text wall ajs;dlfkjasldk

just hear me out on this one, this would be a lot more entertaining than you might think

Cicero, Geralt and Jaskier first meet out on the road, out in front of the Loreius farm

Geralt was fully intent on ignoring Cicero’s call for help, but Jaskier is the one to be like “hey, why don’t we give this guy a hand?”

honestly the two prolly bicker a bit on what they should do but then Jaskier hits him with That Look and Geralt finally relents

Geralt helps up to the farm while Jaskier sticks around with Cicero, making small talk 

aint long for Geralt to come back down the hill with Loreius in tow - really not hard for him to change Loreius’s mind on the whole ordeal

Jaskier finds the little man very odd, but still fun to talk to 

Cicero also thinks he’s fun, but at the same time, i would not be surprised in the slightest if he’s lowkey plotting a murder - getting mother home stays his blade, of course, but if he has the free time? hmm… tempting, tempting indeed… 

Once Loreius is down there helping Cicero, Geralt starts to leave, but Cicero calls out to him, asks him to wait, before tossing a coin purse his way as a thank you

he accepts it without a word, and off Geralt and Jaskier go

Jaskier has no idea what’s up with Cicero, but Geralt knows there’s something definitely not right 

he wasn’t lying about his mother being in that box, as far as he could tell - his sharp sense of smell confirmed it - but there was just something… wrong. something dark. something evil

they don’t see each other again for a while, not until the Cure for Madness happens and Cicero is all alone in Dawnstar (assuming he’s been spared)

Geralt and Jaskier happen to be there, too, looking for work 

they’re in the tavern, with Jaskier playing tunes for coin and Geralt sitting alone at a table, watching him and takin swigs of his ale, and Cicero sees em and he’s just like !!!!!!

just scampers his tiny ass over to Geralt and plops down next to him with a big smile on his face 

“Well, well, well! Long time, no see, dearest Witcher! I was wondering if we’d ever cross paths again.”

“Cicero.” 

they chat up a storm - or more Cicero’s talking to him while Geralt listens and prolly says like… five words in one sentence at most

definitely asks about his mother, who Cicero simply says is enjoying her new home 

which confirms something on Geralt’s mind, but he keeps it to himself

Jaskier had seen the jester walk over to Geralt while he was performing, and once he’s done he goes over to say hello

ain’t long before it’s the three of them sittin there, chattin it up. Err, well, Cicero and Jaskier chatting it up while Geralt offers his most enlightening hmm’s

something something Cicero ends up more or less inviting himself along on the adventure since he, at that time between the Cure for Madness and the end of the DB questline, has nowhere else to be 

something something also tagging along so he can go through with his little Jaskier murder plot 

something something he does attempt to kill him a couple times but some thing or another foils it without him actually getting caught by the bard in question, or more importantly, Geralt 

mind you, Jaskier actually likes Cicero - as eccentric as the man is, he relates 

but then he hits him with the bard joke 

and poor Jaskier 

a lad is CONCERNED

HE’S TALKIN ABOUT SMASHIN LUTES AND BURNIN BARDS

starts sticking around Geralt a bit closer than usual

Cicero learns very, very quickly that you do not make murder jokes around Geralt 

he does not appreciate them 

he especially does not appreciate murder jokes about Jaskier 

Regardless of this, Cicero tries very hard to get Geralt to laugh when the three of them are out on the road 

he’s never seen him do anything more than smirk and “hmmph” in a way that he’s pretty sure was a laugh but isn’t positive on

he’s done countless jokes, no matter how well structured or not, desperate to get a chuckle, a smile, anything 

Usually doesn’t work, but Jaskier gets a kick out of most of em 

there’s some point in time where Cicero gives up on trying to kill Jaskier, for a couple of different reasons. 

One, Geralt Will Find Him. Cicero may have outrun Arnbjorn but he will not stand a chance against a Witcher. He knows this. 

Two, he’s found enough bloodshed travelling with these two to keep him contented 

Three - honestly? Jaskier is friend-shaped. He can never know about who or what Cicero actually is since saying anything about him would technically break one of the Tenets, but he’s helped Cicero out in ways he may never know

at some point, the trio are at a jarl’s palace, attending some celebration (prolly the “slaying” or Alduin or something to do with the Civil War, regardless if we’re taking Dragonborn!Geralt into account)

Jaskier gets harassed by someone, who claims he slept with their spouse the last time they were there 

Geralt steps in, tells em to fuck off, right

But Cicero’s watching from afar as the person leaves, and he walks over after they go with a grin on his face 

“Tsk tsk tsk tsk! Naughty, naughty, Jaskier! You ought to know better than to sleep with a noble’s lover! You’ve gotten yourself in a situation now, haven’t you?” 

Jaskier apologizes (kinda sarcastically, kinda awkwardly, not really sure where Cicero’s going with this)

and then the little fucker just hits him with

“Well… Geralt may scare them off for now, but… oh, what are you going to do if you’re alone, hmm?” 

his grin widens and he leans closer 

“Cicero could make sure they don’t come back. If you would like.” 

and Jaskier is just like “wat” for a solid couple of seconds before he realizes he’s talking MURDER

Jaskier appreciates and utilizes Cicero’s murderiness and you caN’T TELL ME OTHERWISE

HE IS A FERAL FUCKING BABY NOT AFRAID TO SEND THE LITTLE GREMLIN JESTER MAN OUT TO STAB A BITCH FOR HIM

AND CICERO THRIVES OFF JASKIER’S FERAL BABINESS BECAUSE IT’S A SIDE OF HIM HE NEVER SAW UNTIL NOW

and poor Geralt 

Geralt is very tired 

not only does he have to make sure Jaskier doesn’t get killed, he has to make sure Cicero doesn’t go out killing people himself 

the trio is often mockingly called the travelling circus by those living in the towns and cities they pass through 

Geralt knows Cicero’s Dark Brotherhood and caught on pretty early, but he actually doesn’t do anything, per se 

he keeps him in line as best he can when they’re travelling together - more or less makes sure he’s not killing people he shouldn’t be 

but he knows Cicero’s off to his own devices when he leaves to go do whatever it is he does before travelling again 

And, while he would NEVER openly admit it, he is aware the Dark Brotherhood is something of a necessary evil in Tamriel. From what he understands, they kill people, yes, but the ones they’re called upon to kill aren’t innocent people by any sense of the word. They’re slavers, they’re abusers, they’re corrupt politicians - the scum of the earth. Geralt (likely with a little bit of convincing from Jaskier if/when he finds out about Cicero’s true identity), tries his best to keep Cicero in line outside of the contracts he was once called upon to fulfill

I’m gonna leave it here for now and do separate interaction headcanon posts between Cicero and Geralt and Jaskier individually because this is a fucking huge text block but really tho 

i just fucking love the idea of the gremlin jester travelling with the gremlin bard and gremlin monster hunter. there is a chaos there that i’m thriving on

zuko rly thought the avatar was 100 years old, and he was still fully prepared to fucking kidnap him. imagine if that had actually gone down like zuko thought it would. you’re a fully-realized avatar and you’ve been hiding out for over a century and all of a sudden you get approached by this 13 year old kid who’s like “WHATS GOOD I’VE GOT NO DEPTH PERCEPTION AND I’M READY TO FIGHT GOD” 

Castiel: Why can’t you go to Arizona?

Lucifer: Let’s just say there might be a warrant there for my arrest…and in Ohio…and some other states I can never remember

Gabriel: Well you just gotta remember the song I made for you 

Gabriel (singing): What are the states where Luci can’t go, Arizona, Utah, and Ohio

Castiel: Oh my

Gabriel (singing again): There’s three more states where Luci can’t be, Texas, New Hampshire, and Tennesee

Lucifer (also sings):  I’m also not welcome in Europe

Percy + The Prewett Twins - Headcanon List

I’ve had this in my queue for so long it’s almost ridiculous, so I just thought I’d post it now. I’ve been wanting to do this for a long while lol. Off we go!

- During the first wizarding world war, the Weasleys decided to split up, they thought it would be wisest. When Percy was born, the war began to get more intense and even worse. Percy was placed with his two uncles, Fabian and Gideon, who were ecstatic to get the kid who looked so much like them. He was placed there when he was three years old. 

- He didn’t act much like them, it turned out, but they were okay with that. He had their hair, their sister’s smile, and their best friend’s eyes, and he was so incredibly precious. 

- They raised him with love and care, it distracted them from their own pain. The two took turns reading to Percy and took turns holding him. They didn’t need to think so much about the pains of war with their nephew right in front of them.

- The rare times the three of them all went out in public, people often asked which one of twins was Percy’s father. Gideon would laugh loudly as Percy would say “they can’t be my father if they’re my uncles?” Fabian would repeat what Percy said and the person would be embarrassed.

- Percy watched them both die. He was only 4 or 5 at the time, so it didn’t truly register what happened until it did. The twins fought valiantly, but they were eventually brought to their demise by the killing curse. 

- He did the only thing he could, and flooed to the burrow. He had seen Fabian do it before, and he thought it would work. He was sobbing, unable to breathe by the time he had gotten home. Because there was soot in his lungs, on his clothes, and his uncles were dead. Two people very close to his heart now gone forever.

- For a long time, Percy didn’t consider The Burrow home. Fabian and Gideon’s house was home, not this place. This place was filled with people who knew him but he didn’t know, it was scary, this new place. It was familiar, but new. 

- Molly would cry often after she tucked Percy into bed, because he looked so much like them and he had to see them die and merlin, the pain he must be feeling-

- Percy didn’t remember who Arthur was when he came home forever once the war ended, and had a very hard time being comfortable around him. The relationship only slightly improved over the years, much to Arthur’s chagrin. 

- For quite a few years, he spoke very little. He didn’t speak unless spoken to first, and even then he was still quite quiet. He was a shy child, always. As he grew to be a teenager, he was shy with those his age still, perhaps even more severely than it had been when he was younger, but he was fine and confident around adults. 

Some cute stuff, because I want so

Gabriel:I want to be loved

Sam:*covers him with a blanket*

Sam:*brings candies, ice cream and a cake*

Sam:*hugs Gabriel tightly and kisses him*

Gabriel:*melts*

sad revived wilbur hcs are out ive just decided, a week after wilbur gets revived tubbo and ranboo get waken up by a noise on the roof of the mansion and theyre all freaked out n shit because what if that was dream? or even the eggpire folks??? something's wrong and michael might be in danger

and they finally get up to the roof with their full netherite armour on, stacked with potions and swords in their hands. only to find wilbur there, busting into the apiary that foolish built so he can say hi to all the bees. he's getting stung by a bunch of them but god he just wanted that honey so much and it's been so long since he's heard this much sound

Jekyll: Whenever I meet a problem that makes me sad or frustrated because I can't seem to fix it, I look at a photograph of all the Lodgers together.

Jasper: Aawwwww-

Jekyll: And I think; "If I can keep these dumbasses alive and out of prison, I can do absolutely anything".

Jasper: -... Oh.

Jekyll: Let's ignore the fact the Lodgers are, in fact, the cause of most of my problems.