Pete Seeger Singing A Phil Ochs Tune Is The Greatest Thing To Ever Witness

of all the worlds unreliable narrators i am by far the most carnally desired

If the Aeneid has a million fans, I'm one of them

If the Aeneid has one fan, I'm that one

If the Aeneid has no fans, my soul, indignant, has fled down to the underworld with a sigh

Vetinari in Feet Of Clay is so fucking funny because he's like "I am a calculated, coldblooded tyrant" and then voluntarily microdoses himself with arsenic to spend more time with his crush

william the conqueror: i shall take england for normandy and become its king

william the concurrer: i agree

*booking an mri* what if I accidentally have a pacemaker. what if I got secret bone surgery and forgot about the pins

Reading a Terry Pratchett book is literally just: Here's a funny little joke Here's something that you can tell is a joke but don't get and will only figure out five years later Here's a surprisingly cool fantasy concept Here's a unique and well written simile Here's a lil guy Here's something that has aged depressingly well into the modern day Here's something that has aged remarkably queer into the modern day Here's a character that you can barely understand what he's saying Here is the most terrifying and deeply disturbing concept you have ever heard, casually mentioned Here is the dumbest fucking pun you've ever heard but in the best way Here is a quote so profound that it makes you view morality and the world in a different way Here is a plot twist that you can't tell if it's genius or stupid Congratulations! You've finished the book! It has fundamentally changed you as a person and you will never be the same!

Odysseus' Strategy Notebook

PLAN TO DEFEAT THE TROJANS

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

PLAN TO DEFEAT THE CYCLOPS

Build giant wooden horse spear and hide inside it stab the cyclops with it

PLAN TO ESCAPE THE CYCLOPS' CAVE

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

Build giant wooden SHEEP and hide inside it

Build a bunch of normal-sized sheep and hide in those

Skin real sheep and use them to make incredibly realistic sheep costumes

Ride the sheep out of the cave but upside-down so he doesn't find us

PLAN TO DEFEAT THE LASTER LAESYTR LESTRYG CANNIBAL GIANTS

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

Build giant wooden cannibal giant and hide inside it

Build giant wooden RUN

PLAN TO DEFEAT THE WITCH

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

Build giant wooden pig and hide inside it?

Build giant wooden d go with Hermes' plan

PLAN TO DEFEAT SCYLLA

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

Build wooden decoy sailors and hope she eats those DID NOT WORK

PLAN TO STOP MEN FROM EATING SACRED CATTLE

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

Build giant wooden cow and trick the men into eating it

Take a nap and come up with a better plan

PLAN TO ESCAPE CALYPSO'S ISLAND

Build giant wooden horse and hide inside it

Build wooden decoy statue of me and put it in her bed

Build giant wooden d

PLAN TO KEEP ODYSSEUS HERE FOREVER

Steal strategy notebook

Check for splinters just in case

PLAN TO SNEAK BACK INTO THE PALACE

Build giant wooden h

Disguise self as giant wooden beggar normal old beggar OKAY I GET IT NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE A GIGANTIC WOODEN REPLICA I GET IT ALREADY sheesh Athena

GET THE SUITORS OFF MY BACK, PLAN B (THANKS A LOT MELANTHO)

Announce that I will marry whoever can string my husband's bow and shoot through wait this isn't my notebook

PLAN TO KILL THE SUITORS wait who scribbled in my notebook

Ah, so when Circe wants to send them to the underworld, she is amazing and helpful, but when I, POSEIDON-

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is the only acceptable portrayal of white Jesus