Thesemidnightthoughtss - Midnight Thoughts

How am I supposed to succeed at life when on most days my best is getting out of bed. I have no energy to work towards anything. Showing up is my best sadly. But how do you explain that to people.

Do you get sad suddenly and your chest starts hurting and it takes all of your energy to move even slightly ?

“The world doesn’t seem like such a bad place when I’m with you.”

—

D.S

(via thelovenotebook)

“Nothing better than memories, and there is nothing worse than them.”

— Anton Chekhov

Alejandra Pizarnik, from Diarios.

Some realizations I had in the last few days

— I’m never going to be good enough to make anyone stay

— I’m needy and pathetic, clingy and annoying. No one wants that

— I’m so inconsequential that I’m not even worth being told by people that they don’t want to talk to me

— there’s something terribly repulsive and unlovable about me

— my sadness will be the only thing that will be there for me so I need to hold on to it

— happiness isn’t for me

— I need to stop trying and accept my fate of dying alone. Let’s face it, why would anyone want me

I don’t even want any of this, but I have to deal with all this failure which is a result of me being alive. And that just makes it a million times worse. I fail at everything, I can’t do one thing right. Yeah I failed but I don’t have the motivation or the will to work. I’m not being lazy. I just don’t know how to work towards anything when my end goal is to be dead