“absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder”

bpd is distancing yourself because their tone slightly changed and then running back crying to them begging them to love you

i’m so tired

I’m done, defeated. Some of us aren’t meant to be loved. Today is the day I will try to accept that. Keep to myself. It’ll hurt. A lot. A lot. But I’m done. My life has been agony and my fragile heart can’t take this anymore. I’ll always be an object. To be used then thrown away. I’m not good enough or worthy of being loved.

questioning bpd culture is being in a downward spiral for weeks and matching almost every bpd symptom, but the MOMENT that I go a whole day without feeling awful I immediately think that I've just been faking it this whole time and clearly must be actually fine

.

thinking you're being overdramatic and paranoid over nothing only to be proven completely right is such a sickening feeling.

You know you’re fucked when……..you’ve accepted that your life will end by suicide, and you’re okay with it.

That is where I am right now.

bpd is so unbearably lonely. you never feel like anyone loves you because they only care about the sanitized idea of you, the one you made up so people don't abandon you again. as soon as your messy symptoms show, suddenly you're not nearly as loveable. having bpd is to spend your whole life trying desperately to make yourself more palatable

From the bottom of my worthless heart, I genuinely don’t know if I can survive another year.

TW: Suicidal Idealation

Am I the only one who feels doomed to die young? Like, when I think about my future, the only thing that feels right is me dying young.

what you don’t realize is that if i get “embarrassed,” my first thought is “kill yourself.” i’m not like.. “oh haha silly me my mistake..” NOPE.. my initial reaction is “i deserve to rot in hell.”

I never think it’s paranoia.