I had a fp from 2020 to 2023-
I wasn't diagnosed back then. They never knew how much and bad they managed to trigger me in the last year.
Anyways, i never had a episode infront of them except going all silent.
I thought our friendship would have ended, as with 2024 i started to only visit the stables (where we had to meet every day normally but due to stress i made with them the decision that they would take care of my pony until I finished apprentice.)
When i felt.. okay, not stressed, not bad, not extremely tired.. of course I started to have a better mood at the stable since then.
Since a long time i call them in the mornings to wake them up so they don't oversleep and still do, but, fuck.
They are so fucking nice to me again since 2024 began and we stopped seeing each other everyday, since I wasn't forced to go to the stables anymore because i don't have to feel guilty because of my pony even though I really love it.
My ex fp is so nice to me again i can't handle it 😭 especially every morning on the phone.
I don't know how to work with this & this feelings.. they are still able to trigger me badly too.
Why is that so fucked up? What should I do?
I am scared. Also i want it to stay like now. BUT IT SCARES ME.
Those feelings of “every time i want its wrong” and “every time i have a desire its a burden” and “every effort i make is somehow draining to you”
Romantic homicide- d4vd
Exactly what's happening during a split.
Me, looking in the mirror: hm i don't even look that bad.
Also me, 5 mins later: nevermind.
Real
why can’t we know if a person will stay forever, it’s such a tormenting thing to not know.
Like please stay with me till the end, i will do anything for you.
hurt me, make me cry, make me suffer
but oh god, please don’t leave.
🤣😑🤷♂️
God, I wanna love someone so bad.
I wanna give them all of my time.
Text them during every single minute i can steal.
Cuddle them to sleep,
Caress their face,
Stroke trough their hair,
Binge-watching with them..
Someone who doesn't get annoyed.
Someone who gives me the same back.
Fuck Sex, i just wanna feel worthy for more.
I wanna feel loveable. I wanna feel seen.
I wanna feel them.
i want to get my shit together so badly
i also want to just give up
Romantisized Daddy issues/father complex.
No, daddy issues isn't liking to call someone 'daddy' in Bed, thats a kink and not a issue.
The father complex is a trauma response, so please stop romantisizing it out of respect.
Its much more than the liking in older men.
There are 3 Types:
Fearful - avoidant means that affected people avoid getting close to anyone. If they are in a relationship, they tend to run away from challenges. They struggle with intimacy.
Anxious - preoccupied means that affected ones are scared to be left, ofting causing relationship anxiety. Its common that they are really clingy and feel unsettled if they aren't with their partner.
Dismissive - avoidant means that affected ones have heavy trust issues, avoiding conservations and being scared of getting hurt again or to depend on anyone else than themselve.
Lets go over to common symptoms, the type of a father complex clearly depends on the symptoms.
Possessiveness & clingy behaviour.
Overabundance of love & assurance.
Using Sex to feel loved.
Dating (older) men that make you feel protected.
Being afraid to be alone. > jumping from one relationship into another.
Choosing repetitively abusive men.
Attachment issues.
Being afraid to be vulnerable.
Trust issues.
Not setting boundaries because you're scared they will leave if you say "no."
Idealizing your partner.
the father complex often comes with..
Depression
Persistent anger issues
Low self-esteem
Stress
Worry
Anxiety
The father complex is treatable, search for a therapist and analyse your struggles. If your partner is okay with that, maybe even consider couple therapy.
BPD culture is crying your eyes out at 1am because you can't understand why it feels like everyone around you hates you or why you feel like a terrible person even though everyone around you says you aren't.
.
"mental health matters!" until your screaming and crying in the early hours of the morning over losing something as miniscule as your phone charger. but the reason your crying isn't actually about the charger, or your favorite pen you can't find.
little things add up.
every person deserves love, but not every person deserves your love. @trxppedmind on tiktok :3
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