Cries Its So Beautiful

today i got triggered, and i took care of myself.

i made all the healthy choices, and then i felt better.

and for that im really proud of myself.

I wish health professionals understood that because I am disabled and in pain so much it takes a toll on my mental health...

that doesn't mean I have somatic symptom disorder

thanks for coming to my Ted talk

i am soooo out of it todayyy i cant ground enough to do anything but read and watch stuff rahhh

nothing feels real enough todayyy

im down

Adult winx club fans should just find a place of completely forgotten land, pay for it together and build a bunch of tiny houses that are exact replicas of the dorm rooms in Winx Club and have parties and fashion shows and also maybe start a band or something

I feel like most able bodied people see wheelchairs as the worst thing that could happen to a person. When I discuss my want to have a wheelchair for various reasons, most peoples first reaction is to be surprised that I could voluntarily consider that.

But what they fail to consider is that, unlike them, I very much hate walking. It causes me pain and fatigue, it is a miserable experience.

So to any able bodied person reading this, yes some wheelchair users like walking, some want to gain that ability back, but that does not invalidate the feelings of wheelchair users who absolutely hate walking.

i had the same experience when i had to use the elevators.

alright lets get this out of the way.

school bathrooms should be unlocked during school ALWAYS

school children should be allowed to go to the bathroom ALWAYS

school children should NEVER have to ask to go to the bathroom, just tell the teacher that they need to go

schools should NEVER question a child on why they need the bathroom

schools should NEVER make jokes about how often a child uses the bathroom

schools should NEVER get angry at children for using the bathroom

NEVER should a teacher approach a child about their bathroom usage.

if there is a concern or problem with a childs use of the bathrooms, the school should speak to their parent or have a meeting involving the parents and the principle.

if there is misuse of the bathrooms, the school should speak to their parent or have a meeting involving the parents and the principle.

you never know what children could be dealing with, whether they have bladder issues, gi issues, mental health issues or other disabilities. some children may be using the bathroom to hide from bullies, or they may have addiction issues.

it doesnt matter. its shouldnt be the teachers job to police toilet usage. only when there is an issue should limits or supervision be put in place, AFTER meeting with their parents and potentially the student to figure out the reasons for such issues.

i know this is really controversial but im really sick of horror stories from kids like me who dealt with the shit that is school bathrooms

being unattractive or physically different/disabled DOES NOT equal being morally bad/evil. there is an atrocious amount of ableism that occurs when someone doesn’t look “normal.” and i am so fucking sick of it.

in media it is (almost) always the villains who are different/disabled. and media is a massive part of how people form their world views.

i want to mention arcane for example, because people seem to be confused about what good representation is. people praise the hell out of that show, and for good reason it has great things about it, but people told me it had good disabled representation. so i watched it. and while parts of the disabled representation is good.. almost all physically different/disabled characters are portrayed as bad/evil/villains at some point in their story (or all of it.) and then by the end of the show most of them are dead.

abled people i need you to understand that is not good representation. please look out for these tropes it happens ALL the time.

good representation includes different/disabled characters who are heroes and morally “good” too.

if you make all your villains physically different and none of them are heroes i hate you. i am so sick of this.

Something that really bothers me about disability activism and representation is how people with gastrointestinal illnesses or disabilities continue to get the short end of the stick and that nobody ever talks about it because it’s “taboo”, which it absolutely shouldn’t be. We can’t be open with people IRL, even in disability spaces, about our conditions because they’ll either view us as disgusting or triggering or they’ll view us as sex objects because of their fetishes. We don’t fare much better in fiction, with GI disability rep being largely allocated to either grossout humor, the author’s barely disguised fetish, or just actual pornography about our conditions.

It sucks because I have a lot of health issues, and I can talk about my chronic pain or my stigmatized mental health conditions with no fear of being shamed, but it feels like w/ my GI issues I’m keeping a dirty secret because that’s how people - including other disabled people - treat these kinds of conditions. People like me shouldn’t be made to feel like we’re outsiders in our own spaces.

(Note 1: This post is not meant to kinkshame. I bring that topic up because unfortunately it IS some of the only rep we get, and we deserve representation that talks about our disability as a disability and not something sexually arousing)

(Note 2: Other disabilities/illnesses are treated this way too. This is just the one I have experience with.)

i have so much art i need to get out of my brain its all stuck in there while i cant do any 😭😭😭😭😭