Blog - Blog Posts

After Movie Thoughts:

Ngl, that was a whole lotta recap and not a lot of new content. Demon Slayer has done the same with the last “movies” they made, but I still enjoyed it! Nezuko defeating the sun made me cry again. Also I’m happy we finally got to see more of the other Hashiras.

I stayed for the credits to look at all the art!

Heading out in an hour for the Demon Slayer movie for both enjoyment since I’ve gotten back into the series again AND for content for my monthly nerd articles.

Could just do a basic review but am trying to fish for other ideas.

Calling all Demon Slayer nerds, anything I should know about in regards to the new movie? Any new characters I should focus on?

Please let me know!

I’ll likely post a brief summary here after I watch the movie.

And another additional thought, ever since I found out the elemental effects for breathing styles are things only the audience can see, it’s been blowing my mind about mist and fire breathing.

I’m considering putting out a trilogy on here born from an idea I put in a journal forever ago covering some gothic tales about witches and their familiars. I still need to finish the stories but expect them to come up soon.

It’s very much a WIP cuz I don’t even have a title yet 😂

Time to do some more witch research and gothic tales research!

Gonna drop the recipe:

* 2 boxes of Velveeta Mac n Cheese (Kraft works fine too),

*1 small bag of broccoli

*A few shakes of Garlic salt

Put them all together and you have the perfect feel better meal ✨

Trying to summon a Mac n cheese with garlic salt tulpa because @midnitevintage got me into the combo and now I’m craving it again.

Just a cat parent now working two jobs and wondering what’s next. Can’t believe it took me 3 months to find a second job. Urgently hiring will always boil down to selective hiring

Excuse me as I obsess about this movie for the next week

Stopmotion (2023)

Ella Blake is a stop-motion animator who is struggling to control her demons after the loss of her overbearing mother. Suddenly alone in the world, she creates a macabre new puppet film, while struggling to maintain her sanity. As Ella’s mind starts to fracture, the characters in her animated film take on a terrifying life of their own, and the unleashed power of her imagination threatens to destroy her.   IFC Films and Shudder distribute in the US. Scott Shooman, head of AMC Networks’ film group was quoted saying: “IFC and Shudder are ecstatic to bring Robert Morgan’s riveting live-action/animation hybrid to audiences everywhere. ’Stopmotion’ is excellent as it weaves together a unique, psychological-horror with unbelievable visuals. The film joins the ranks of critically acclaimed titles such as ‘Mad God’ and ‘The Wolf House’ – breaking ground for how we perceive stop-motion in horror. We are thrilled to distribute Morgan’s first full-length feature for its theatrical release and presence on our streaming platform, Shudder.” The feature film directorial debut of Robert Morgan. Described as an “elevated horror film” and a “live-action/animation hybrid.” IFC Films releases Stopmotion in Theaters on February 23, 2024. Stopmotion premieres on Shudder on May 31, 2024. IMDb Director: Robert Morgan Dread Central:  ‘Stopmotion’ Director Robert Morgan Explains Why Meat Doesn’t Make Good Puppets Bloody Disgusting:  ‘Stopmotion’ Trailer Brings Eerie Puppet to Life in Psychological Horror Movie Rue Morgue:  GET ANIMATED OVER THE NEW TRAILER FOR IFC AND SHUDDER’S DISTURBING “STOPMOTION”   Read the full article

Had a good birthday, now it’s birthday part 2 and I’m going to the hello kitty cafe!

Choco Cat and Charmny Kitty are my favorite guys so I’m doing my best to dress in the spirit of both with a heart cat shirt.

Random thoughts but one time I found a eyeshadow palette for Choco Cat and it was entirely made of of neon colors. Did not fit their aesthetic at all 😭

Sick of this

Park Lake- mhw #2

Previously I said I was going to the canyon for my next big walk, but my vehicle and state of mind both said no, so I took a trip to a nearby regional park.

I love how cheap entry is and it’s a park that holds a lot of memories for me as I used to participate in a summer day camp as a kid that would take place there. My scout days are far behind me now.

One of the many bird residents of the park. The Canadian Geese of course are the most abundant and the loudest. I was hesitant eating my lunch near them.

Ordinarily I would take two loops around, but this time I went once around the lake and then sat at some of the many benches for a while.

I didn’t have my headphones with me so my mind uncomfortably ruminated during a majority of the walk. So I mostly just tried to focus on all the chatter of the ducks and geese who were yelling at each other about who knows what.

It’s also pleasant to see people fishing and having fun together. I have a complicated relationship with the activity of fishing but if I were to ever have access to my old gear, perhaps I’d take it up again. But I was here to walk, not fish.

Lake and bench.

If you ever get a chance to just stop by a lake, I recommend taking the time to birdwatch. Last time I was at the lake, I watched a goose get into a fight with a squirrel who was trying to steal bread from one of her babies. It was a very heated battle.

Even if I still feel uncertain if any of my mental health was repaired from this walk, I’m just grateful for the fact that I could see some pretty nature and got in about an hour of exercise. Something I learned from therapy is that recording what you are grateful for can also help you feel better.

And thus, I am grateful for the memories this park has given me, the geese, the other wildlife, the shimmers of the lake, the friendly fisherman, the cheap entry tickets, and the many park benches/shelter stations.

Characters I Headcanon have Bipolar disorder

(From the perspective of someone living with Bipolar 2)

**Disclaimer**

This is all meant to be in good fun and I’m no mental health expert; merely someone who has been through lots of therapy

Let’s Begin!

1. Rin Okumura from Blue Exorcist

I’ve always related to Rin Okumura, especially during the time I was under the mistaken diagnosis of ADD. I was surprised to learn from this that a lot of symptoms of bipolar can look like ADD/ADHD at times.

For example, Rin is shown to be someone who is easily distracted or fixated on new topics. He also tends to sleep a lot which is confirmed in the manga by the fact that this boy sleeps 12 hours every night. And finally a major factor that clued me in is how easily he is swayed by his emotions which leads him to act impulsively.

Rin’s emotions tie him to his demonic half which in turn can cause a lot of inner turmoil for him. I’m sure anyone with bipolar can relate in feeling like their change to either a manic/hypomanic state can cause them to feel like a demon and out of control. But as is shown in the series, by practicing to focus on his emotions, Rin learns to lessen and control his symptoms.

2. Gangle from The Amazing Digital Circus

I know I know, I’m lowkey pulling for stereotypes here with the tragedy and comedy masks. And on top of that this is a series with only a pilot so we hardly know anything concrete about her character. 😂

Everyone in the digital circus seems to play a role based off of their avatar given to them. As a being with two different masks, Gangle is very sensitive to the way in which she acts when her comedy mask is broken.

She tends to be very anxious and sensitive to the events that unfold around her both physically and mentally (she unravels from a mere bowling ball being thrown her way by Jax).

In some fandom interpretations of her character I’ve seen interesting depictions that also heavily give bipolar vibes like Gangle having an abstracted self tied to her ribbons or forcing on her comedy mask. I love Gangle and this pilot.

3. Captain SpaceBoy from Omori

Oh poor Captain SpaceBoy. He’s so heavily influenced by any mood swings he experiences that he seems to take on an entirely new persona whether it be SpaceBoyfriend, Space-ExBoyfriend, SpaceHusband, or Space-ExHusband.

When you first meet his character, you can clearly see he is depressed as he refuses to leave his bed and throws away any special possessions that remind him of his heart ache. Later on he even goes as far as to isolate himself on top of a snowy mountain when the heartache returns to him again..

He is also easily consumed by a rage which seems similar to a manic/hypomanic state that leads him to fight the main cast of characters. Also when it comes to his special boss battle I find it interesting how you can only defeat him by fighting him in certain states of emotion.

4. Howl Jenkins Pendragon from Howl’s Moving Castle

Howl is undeniably a drama Queen, but some of the ways in which he takes certain actions give me some bipolar vibes.

There is of course the infamous scene in which he throws a tantrum due to Sophie organizing his hair dye potions. He swings very quickly from being irritated and enraged to absolutely inconsolable and depressed. He even spends that next couple hours in bed after this scene.

Howl also tends to lead himself to danger as he appears to be in heightened states of euphoria when he pushes himself to the limit with his magic. He is also rather impulsive when it comes to the relationships he makes with others if we are going off of his book persona.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But above all!! All these characters are shown to be good people who genuinely care about the feelings of others and try to do their best to help even when their own mental health is bringing them down.

Bipolar individuals are more than their disorder; we are all kind people ♥️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that’s all! Lemme know what you think :)

Whoops been too depressed and tired to take a walk

Rain Walk- mhw #1

I have decided to document a series where I chronicle the walks I take for my mental health. Let us begin for this past Saturday when it was raining.

View from near by neighborhood. Blurred for cool effects and to make the pretty lights stand out.

Who doesn’t love a good walk in the rain? This was purely spur of the moment but something in me was just telling me that I NEEDED to be out in that rain walking around. Especially since it was starting to slow down.

It’s been rough ngl. Also the feeling of the rain sprinkling in your skin is 20/10. Another 20/10 is walking in the rain while ALSO listening to a liminal space playlist. I highly recommend it.Also the fog starting to drop in was another 20/10.

The rain in a way can feel like a liminal space because of how empty the roads can be. Liminal spaces are shown to be rather lonely which was sort of the case on my walk. Just occasional car would pass by. Now I’m thinking about liminal rooms with a rain landscapes. That sounds cool.

I started to notice on my walk there are only specific types of people that really take walks on the rain:

Big Dog Walkers

Smokers

The Mentally Ill Like Me

The Occasional Avid Elderly Walker

Of course they all make perfect sense for different reasons, but if there’s anyone I’d prefer the pass it’s the smoker as they always have a unique sense of style. The smoker I passed had a striped shirt and green hair. Kinda like that one Danganronpa character whose name I can’t remember.

And another great thing about walks in the rain is you’ll find little friends on the sidewalk as pictured below:

Pictured are Mx. Snail and the Earthworm. Couldn’t find the earthworm on my second loop around so I hope they’re okay. The Snail went to hide in their shell and I respect that. Some people are just camera shy and you can’t change that.

Well, that’s all I have left to say on the matter. I’ll probably take another walk tomorrow, been wanting to explore this canyon.

Allow me to provide a song recc from my playlist. Lemme know if you have any you’d like to give me for my playlist!

A scenario where a robot is trying to blend in with human society but has no knowledge of the modern day lingo:

Robot: In order to keep my human body stable, I must remember to eat time specific meals. So relatable.

Human Friend: You’re so real for that.

Robot: *slightly panicking* Of course I’m real, did anything I say make you doubt so?

Human Friend: o.O ?

Ever heard of the TTRPG called Babes In The Wood by Adam Vass? It’s based off Over the Garden Wall and I’m starting it as my first table top campaign.

I’ve so excited to start and introduce my players to stories inspired by macabre fairy tales I heard as a child.

Also I just love spooky stuff in general as well as twists on moral tales.

I might share some of my unique Hallows as they call your different towns/locations in this game after the campaign. One of my players follows me on here so no spoilers for you 😆

I’ve gone so in-depth with this I’ve been making whole playlists and even drawings of some vital NPCs. Creating a world for others to explore really is just awesome in general. I feel like I’m getting a great chance to express myself.

Also as a first time DM, would appreciate any tips

Late Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and all that jazz. Can’t believe I missed out on taking photos with Krampus not once but TWICE

Eh just thought I might post something so here ya go

I know it’s fall for real now cuz the floors in my house stay consistently cold. And the west coast doesn’t exactly conform to cool weather often, especially with Global warming ducking up the whole ecosystem and weather system, whatever word that is.

HA

Remember when I said I’d post every Wednesday? I FORGOT.

Also fun fact, I’m a writer for a particular website so I’m here rn at SD Comic Con. It’s rough for a Thursday. I wanted to go to the Junji-Ito panel buttttt… there were some complications in the line.

First of all, this panel wasn’t even at the convention and being held at the Public Library which is very nice and I might consider going again. And the event was being held on the 9th floor, so wowza! Gotta be pretty fancy if they have 9 floors, right? Still not sure what happened, but they started moving people in line all the way back to the first floor and since the panel had already started after waiting for an hour, it was time to leave and make my trek back to the convention in the hot, hot sun.

Sweat continues to trickle down my back as I tried yet again to get into another popular panel only to find it has been spread into different sections a less several hallways. Tis the consequences of a popular convention so best to just cut my losses and find something in the exhibit hall.

So here I am over 2 hours early for a panel just so I can get in and reading a book so I don’t cry from the combined stress of the past few weeks.

Comic Con is awesome I swear, just the worms in my brain are saying;

“Hmm… reconsider.”

A Cryptid Party

I finally had the cryptid themed party I had planned for my birthday yesterday. Of course I was MothMan and had all of my other friends dress up.

I had sectioned off each room to for the theme such as my creepy stairwell as the MothMan cult room, the living room as a forest, my dining room as Area 51 alongside the bathroom door that I tinfoiled.

I’m happy that I was in the moment and everyone had a good time, I just wish I took more photos while in the moment. My costume didn’t have pockets so it was hard to keep my phone on me and whip it out to take pictures whilst being the host and making sure everyone was attended to.

I don’t regret it at all. A part of me just wishes I could summon everyone again to get a group photo. There’s a very fine line between taking too many pictures and just being in the moment that I have increasingly become confused about.

Any thoughts?

The Friend Loss period from 2020-2023

I have discovered that apparently a variety of people (myself included) lost a great number of friends during the following years. And to clarify, by loss I don’t mean death, I mean falling outs for whatever number of reasons.

The number of people I lost? Eleven. And I don’t know if I particularly would like to vent on the internet as to how the these circumstances occurred, but it’s mainly stupid drama and one unknown as of the current moment.

The Logic part of me wants to say that it’s all coincidence, but the spiritual part of me wants to know of it’s something more.

Maybe I’m just at that age of my life as other Gen Zs where I’m finding out more about myself and it doesn’t quite mesh with those I had previously surrounded myself with.

Maybe COVID had something to do with this too, after people spent so much time in isolation? I can theorize all I want, but still have no clue.

To quote my favorite movie, Eternal Sunshine, “What a loss to spend that much time with someone only to find out they’re a stranger.”

8 years and all in between down the drain. This sucks ass.

An introduction

Hello!

Any good story (or in this case, blog) needs some sort of introduction. Could be anything from how the harsh War had inspired Grandma to make her casserole to console her little ones. Or the epic car chase a spy finds themselves in to get the first of many clues involving an elusive diamond. Even better could be the classic cliche of a brief moment from a nightmare where the writer snaps awake as the jaws of a bloodthirsty creature brushes against their neck.

However, I find it best to introduce myself by letting you down gently. One: I am not involved in any major wars. Two: I am not a super spy either. And finally three:.... that's debatable.

I am simply a depressed young adult who so dearly wants to be a writer despite the fact of the many, MANY stressors that happen in my life among all the other misfortunes.

I'm not going to David Copperfield you here and go on about the story of my birth. Instead, I will tell you about one of my many stories I have. The story of my internet name.

Looking at the word Vintage, you'd probably think, "Ohhhh so they must be one of THOSE people who love to collect old fahsion and antiques, huh?" As much as I do have a curiosity in such things, you would be incorrect. Among an old friend group of mine, another friend of mine and I shared the same name. Since I was the orginal memeber of the group they decided to call me Vintage.

And the word midnight (midnite) is simply because I appreciate the atmosphere of nighttime. 

As one of my professors taught me, the best way to start something is to just do it. So here we gooooooo!!!

chat ima need yall to imagine somone

imagine a person, androgynous looking but if you had to choose, assuming youre thinking heteronormatively), see them as a guy and masculine

theyre black (very important when it comes to choosing my name tbh), nonbinary agender, usually has their afro (thats dyed blonde) out, will probably lock their hair soon

but they also love femininity, still dress feminine, and refers to themselves using the term “femboy”

whagt name do you vibe with for said person? thinking abt changing it bc my cousin makes fun of my current one a lot and my brother kinda makes fun of it

also, if you comment your own it needs to start with the letter s!! i dont want my initials to change lol

current preference is sage and soren tied for first and silas is in last place

my blog was meant to be a roleplay / irl kinda thing and i chucked the roleplay aspect into the trash LMAO

im meant to roleplay as a siren confused about living on land which makes sense tbh for my age rn since im only 18 and now living life as an adult™

somewhat nsft,

but YALL IM ALREADY HAVING BOTTOM GROWTH OMG

dude i cannot wait till i pass

i cannot wait till i look more masc and androgynous

i cannot wait till i look like how i want

i keep getting recommended posts by transfems and their journey and them passing im so jealous and happy for them theyre so happy they pass so well theyre so pretty i cant WAIT FOR THAT ERA OF MY TRANSITION WHERE I JUST AM SO PROUD AND OUT AND HAPPY AND POSTING ABOUT IT

GUYS MY THERAPIST THINKS IM FUNNY IM WINNING LIFE

THEY EVEN SAIDTHAY I SHOULD GET MY OWN SITCOM BC I MAKE RHEM LAUHH SO MUCH

i invited this guy i was talking to, (who im sure fetishizes trans men since he said how hed prefer me not to start hrt or get top surgery BUT wanted me to get bottom bc he likes futas LMAO) ,

to this viking roleplay minecraft server i was apart of

the issue?

you have to make a character to be able to join the r and play on it

mind you, ive been roleplaying since i was 9

i offered to help make his character

he.

decided to use chat gpt.

to make it.

yeahh after that i didnt really wanna talk to him anymore…

it also didnt help that he BARELY txted me back

yall i finally deleted twitter 🙏❤️

im healing

yall so.. i actually started hrt 2 weeks ago (this week thursday will be my 3rd injection!) and i didnt make a post bc my dumbass got too lazy to buy (also poor) the trans flag to put up so i just printed out a picture and taped it on my wall LMAO

im gonna buy it soon yall!! along with the trans icon blåhaj :3

ALSO ITS FREE!!! BC MY INSURANCE IN NYS LEGALLY HAS TO INSURE ALL GENDER REAFFIRMING CARE SO ID ONLY END UP PAYING FOR THE NEEDLES IF ANYTHING

also picture of the pretty girl since yall haven’t seen her in a bit

day i start hrt is the day i will hang up my trans flag yall, just need to buy it first :3 🙏

IWANNASTART HRT NOW PLEASEEE PLEASEHWBBA PLEASEEEE WHY IS THE APPT FOR 4/10 IMGOJNA CEY PLEWSE PELASW

the gods must hate me today bc not only did i eat shit and fall running up a hill,

but i also need to recollect literally all of my items for my batch at work because my cart somehow disa-fucking-ppeared

im upset and about to cry

oops forgot to update

im blonde now yall!!

+face reveal

my room lighting makes it look golden i PROMISE ITS LIGHTER IT DOES NEED TO BE LIFTED AGAIN THO LOL