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me and my cousin were joking around (one who knows im trans, btw)
we both decided to eat cereal at 11p. i had frosted flakes and shes having fruity pebbles
we’re both queer so i called her a fruity faggot just like her cereal (as one does)
and she said that i needed the cereal
and whenever we do jokes like this, you would claim to not be apart of a minority while you’re obviously apart of it (jokes goes: claim the other is a minority they’re apart and they deny it)
so i of course did the usual spiel of denying being queer and tried to say “im a straight woman” but i just…. couldnt.
yall i couldnt even jokingly lie about being cisgender 😭
i also stopped using ftm to describe myself. i kinda feel weird using that term for myself. i dont wanna refer to my previous identity to acknowledge my current one. no shame to others who do, though!
hey yall im back LMAO
updates:
i finally dropped my racist toxic and somewhat transphobic ex best friend (will make a post about it)
visited my great grandma (will also make a post about it)
best way i describe my gender now is preferably no gender (agender) but if i had to choose, man and nonbinary (demiboy). basically meaning my dress/appear masculine/androgynous while my preferred pronouns are they/them and he/him. still genderfaun tho, my main gender just tends to be agender
i need to interact with more happy things. its the reason why i joined tumblr and stepped away from twitter.
my TL is just.. negative.
might purge a bunch of posts
just got gender envy towards two youtuber and male singers :/
i GOTTA start hrt soon bruv 💔 i want my voice change badly 😭
ever since i came out/realizing i was trans, i started to hate my room decor so im changing it from pastel danish (base white w pops of pastel colors) to gothic and its SO hard when your room walls are white and when youre also poor because college is so stressful so you had to cut your hours 💔
before i realized i was a trans man (genderfaun), i was genderfluid
my plans for my persona was whenever im masc for him to be a siren whilst my fem align would be a fairy
i might still do this but have the fem align be for my agender identity as i still want the fairy
dont wanna give too much away for what my plans are but its gonna be COOL!!!
my issue with my anxiety is that the way i typically deal with it at home, i cannot do the same thing at work / in public.
its the reason why i want to start anxiety meds but my mom said that i should try looking at other coping mechanisms first before jumping into something that changes my brain chemistry (shes a nurse and shes for finding other ways to deal with issues before taking something that changes your brain chemistry. which i understand and agree with!!)
im just tired of the anxiety tbh i just wanna live a normal life without the constantly shaking, not being able to breathe properly, fear, etc.
pictures of the pretty girl :)
waiting for the (late) bus to go to my driving lesson
❝a vampire hidden underneath the oceans surface…❞
𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼 ˙✧˖° 🫧 ⋆｡˚꩜🪼🦇⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝
welcome to my blog!!
⌗𝜗𝜚 Soren ! ☆ he/him/they/them ☆ 18!
>> vampire siren living in a hidden forest who comes out once in a while
my carrd!!! donate to help me get my top surgery!
>> black (🇯🇲🇺🇸) tboy !! genderfaun (agender+demiboy)
>> EST (nyc area)
>> infp/tp, 5w6, ☼ virgo ↑ libra ☾ gemini, 🥮🐕 (狗)
>> pansexual, acespec, demiromantic
>> anxiety riddled and possibly depressed
>> pre-t! hopefully starting late feb or early march!
>> pre-vet student ! (college freshman)
>> animal science, mycology, fungi, plant, bug, marine biology lover!!!
>> i have multiple aesthetics !! (mains are goth, vampire, cottagecore, fairycore)
>> i do art sometimes!! also play video games
>> i fb if i think youre cool…
>> DNI LIST: general DNI. zionist/pro israel (ew). maga / trump supporters. terfs+radfems (hating men isn’t feminism!! xx). misogynists. pedos (or “MAPs”). homophobes. transmeds. transphobes (babes youre on a transmans blog rn… leave). nazis (cannot believe i have to say this). if i think of more ill add more lol
>> my tags!!
> #🪼🦇 : all my posts! > #🪼🦇🐈 : my posts including my cat, Baby! > #🪼🦇vents : my vent posts > #🪼🦇 rants : my rant posts > #🪼🦇🏳️⚧️ : my experiences as a trans man! > #🪼🦇📔 : digital diary entries
ill add more as i think of more
˙✧˖° 🫧 ⋆｡˚꩜🪼🦇⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
so i decided to make kimbap and ended up making 7 rolls…. i ate one and a half and got FULL 😭
wish i was on hrt rn because then id be able to eat it all 💔
02/12/25 :
went to jersey to get my hair done since im going to jamaica soon !! :)
knotless 613!!
anyone else hate getting their hair done ? its so overwhelming i hate it. i hate the amount of time it takes, i hate being touched, i hate the gel touching any part of my body (especially my face), i hate when my clothes (especially my sweater) gets dirty with anything as i feel like its an extension of my body, i hate my hair being pulled, i hate how loud it is, i hate the smells, i hate how much work it is to deal with my hair in general, etc etc
my baby hairs are very sensitive so i cannot get them braided in at all or they’ll literally fall out too :( and i know whenever they get braided in because it hurts like hell
then i also hate explaining this to braiders whenever i go because they never understand it at first so i have to explain it 2-5 more times which causes my anxiety riddled ass to get quieter and more scared
i do plan on getting locs tho so!! only got the knotless because my hair was a mess and i couldnt keep it out
helllooo!! decided to make a blog since someone recommended me to do so for my mental health :)
hello!! im soren!!
im a pre-t trans man who was blessed by a random rock i found to be able to go on land as human !!
i suffer with really bad anxiety and possibly depression (? going to try to get diagnosed with it)
im acespec, demiromantic, and pansexual!
my gender identity is genderfaun as i go inbetween demiboy and agender
i have found a random cat who i have taken and named Baby :)
i think that is all..
goodbye now!!
TWO dance gavin dance songs have been stuck in my head recently i could be doing literally anything and all of a sudden in a silly voice i screm "SCAMMED!!!! RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY MASTER PLAN!!!" OR!!! or "u wont realiiiize its overrrrr til u slip into unconciousNESS"
today is worst day, i am off killing myself.
+
our existence and future is predetermined by variables around us.
some things that make you better, and some things that don't.
when I consider that I imagine I should just off myself today.
I got shock figuring out I am 22, not 21 years old. I lost track of time so badly I forgot that. I thought I was 21 and convinced myself. But I actually am 22 now. Wow, last 5 years of my life were hell. In fact, I'd say everything after 12 was already hell. It was empty void. That's why I really hate videogames, why did I spend so much time playing garbage like Dark Souls? Jesus. Uh... Fuck, I am 22 years old, holy shit I am fucked. It's time to think about my future priorities. a month in mental asylum then few years of absolute suffering and misery, anything after 2015 is blurry to me, I feel like I stopped existing as entity. I wasted a lot of time on social media, a lot of time chasing nothingness, things that possess no power in the world.
And now it's actually 2025?! My brain feels like nothing has been happening and I was genuinely rotting away. I am glad I managed to release some of these touhou videos, I am glad I managed to bring churro back. But everything in my spirit feels miserable, it's pretty obvious I am not cutout for humanity's methodology. I haven't made any friends nor any partner, I do not have any form of support at all. Not even one of family. And with my personality, with my way of being, I doubt I'll ever be able to get any. My ego is in shambles and anger as of right now. It's funny right? It's a small detail but if I said 21 it would have made me FEEL as if I accomplished a little of something. By taking a date one year further now it makes me feel like I am REALLY LATE. After all, I took a while to condition myself to the premise of "atmosphere", this is how "things are supposed to be or play out". I feel insignificant today and like the world is jusjt gonna step on me to death and there's nothing I can do. I am people pleaser, because i felt socially forced to act like one. Like that was a means of survival that I half-hazardly accepted while not feeling it in my heart. Now even complaining makes me feel like age is crawling as penalty for speaking words here. Indeed, nobody really cares. It's all fake, people only care about things that cost zero risk. Associating yourself with something weak makes you weak, isn't that right?
So, what will be my priorities for the rest of my life?
I am definitely alone and I am also not strong to defeat the world on my own, I am tired of ironyposting. I am fucking tired of watching shit youtube content. I am tired of social media hijacking my mind (when really i would've preferred living in a tribe than this fucking -technocratic place) well.. 1. I will try to work on churro as much as I can so this site works and I will use my finance to support it. Since I won't ever have a child, I can share it with the site. It can be costly for future servers and for advertising on whenever I can, but it is my genuine goal to both spend my time and money on the site. That said, I cannot do it while also working, because a few hours aren't enough to code any substantial changes or fix bugs. I will work on trying to take a gambit of perfecting the site while NEET at the moment. My second goal is touhouposting, I thought that I will have periods where I upload videos on youtube and continue doing it. Playing videogames might not be good way to spend free time, but nobody really liked me and I don't communicate so I feel this is better efficient way than all these times I tried making friends. I will probably upload touhou videos every 4 days if my time allows it, but I will eventually run out of time to edit.
So, the touhou thing isn't eternal, give it like 5 years maybe max, I hope to end it at 3. They will be published even if I die but they ought to be entertaining videos.
With that said, gym and training play huge role of my daily life. So that also takes a lot of time.
And procrastinating, I gotta talk about the worst. I am bad at dealing with abstract things, they waste my time more than anything. I am already a loser incel the way I am but when I deal with something that doesn't have a clear goal it will be bothering me. I need to manage my time so I spend the LEAST time on things that requrie entertainment over work. This stuff is something that is hard to fight when you got addicted to brainrot.
As for drawing, drawing is genuine effort workoholic example, so I priotize drawing in free time over meaningless conversations with people who only care about themselves anyway + doom feedscrolling (awful i hate it i am not gonna do it anymroe notgonnadoit My life looks pretty shady according to human standard, but I never went to bars or anything like that, in fact maybe its peopel who are shady and they have the majority. So, what do I do after I get churro perfect and upload all vids I wanted? hm....
yep, I'm probably gonna die. I wouldn't know anything anymore, it'd be nice to have son who would manage churro, maybe I can adopt somebody at very late age as ultra-cuck or something, I am getting tired of typing....
I feel bad today very sick
Carbs and water are important
I am loosing weight but too extremely abd drank too much protein.
Its sad
𝔅𝔩𝔬𝔤 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔬
Venus
16
Lowkey have no clue what I’m doing here
DMs are open and I’m always down for moots
Todo este tiempo me abstuve de decir un chingo de mamadas y publicar mis cosas porque pensaba que varios conocidos tenían mi cuenta o que usaban Tumblr
Bueno prepárense para los traumas y más traumas 🥳
Me writing (i LOVEE writing)
As decreed by an anonymous scoundrel,
"list 5 things that make you happy, then send this to the last 10 people who liked/reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers!"
Do you agree to this arduous task?
I'll list some things for people to get to know me better but i am far to nervous to actually send something to someone even if it's anonymous 😭
1. My hyperfixations (which include merchandise.) I have a lot of Merchendise for some of the things I love. My hyperfixations include but aren't limited to, Demon Slayer, Jujutus Kaisen, Hazbin Hotel, and Attack on Titan mostly. But it can change any day now.
2. My partner, he makes me very very happy and i feel so fortunate that we are together and i love him to absolute death. I will literally anything for him if he asked me to.
3. Art!! I love art and it makes me so happy seeing others make art, i save a lot of art i come across in my gallery.
4. Baking/cooking, it brings me a lot of comfort, i love to cook and bake when i have the chance, unfortunately i don't have the time or kitchen to do such right now.
5. Talking to people about my interests in fictional characters, I absolutely adore characters and their complexities, characters that are particularly my favorite are, Enmu, Choso, Gojo, Suguru, Erwin, Gyutaro, and Sukuna. <3
Sorry i’m not going to send it to others but I did at least rattle my brain to answer it at least 😭
I just made a side blog purely for the quirks I’ve made it’s @kaytaygayquirks there’s not a lot on there currently but I’m working on adding more quirks to it :)
