Bsd Chapter 117 - Blog Posts

Posting this wip of Nikolai before the new chapter comes out

Honestly I miss my gay clown ૧(ꂹີωꂹີૂ)

(Also hi I'm back)

i’m rereading some of the earlier bsd chapters and i really miss when it felt like a silly little dark humour sitcom revolving around the ADA and the PM. i realize that it’s not going to be like this forever and that asigiri is just building tension for the fight with fyodor, but i really want some of the silliness back.

"My ideals will live on" Bitch, how about you live on instead, how about that?!

When Fukuzawa will find out about Kunikida's death he will be very angry.

I hope he will beat the sh**t out of Fydor

Haven't been able to get these words out of my head. The fact they are the last thing he says. At first, I was just like "Okay, that's a very Kunikida thing to say" but then I put them into context of what just happened.

He'd been impaled and was desperately trying to use his last moments to allow Tanazaki time to escape. He knew he wasn't living after this, so as per his ideals he was going to fight until his last breath to save another life. If he can die in-service of helping someone else survive, that's enough for Kunikida.

And then he hears Atsushi shout his name. Atsushi ran up from behind Amenogozen, Kunikida probably saw him coming as well. He gripped the sword in his chest with the last of his strength to aid Atsushi in whatever way he could.

And Atsushi chose to save Tanizaki. The very thing he'd been trying to do just seconds before.

That why I think he'd smiling here, that's why I think he says his ideals will live on. Not in some abstract way, but in a direct reference to Atsushi, because he was Atsushi's mentor too. From day one, Atsushi has been seeking guidance from Kunikida, even when he didn't know how to give it.

One of the first pieces of advice Kunikida gives Atsushi is to "start thinking what you can do."

And it has been something he's been trying to figure out ever since. What can he do to help those who need it? To be worthy of living?

Both Atsushi and Kunikida want to save people. Both of them have been struggling on how to achieve that this whole time. Saving people isn't just a single action to Kunikida, it's sacrifice, it's taking on a burden, it's knowing you're tied to this person afterwards.

It's knowing you can't always save everyone no matter how much you want to. It's prioritizing saving who can and living with that.

Kunikida knew he couldn't be saved, but he hoped Tanizaki could. When Atsushi chose to leave him and save Tanizaki he following in Kunikida's footsteps.

His ideals will live on, in Atsushi.

Anything even remotely father shaped in this series must die apparently.

Why is god flirting with Kunikida.

*Dazai losing his mind over Fyodor being alive*

Chuuya: boy you gotta chill, we can catch him again

Dazai: we NEVER caught him in the first place!

Chuuya: Don't worry we will find him and catch him this time. The rest are fighting too they'll be okay.

Dazai: I CAN'T STAY CALM RIGHT NOW CHUUYA

Chuuya: who are you so worried about??

*sometime in the past*

Dazai: why are you always worried about things, it's not good to be this anxious

Atsushi: it took me a long time to find a family, I feel scared of losing them

Dazai, caught off-guard: losing? You will never lose us. We are the sticking kind

Atsushi: what will I do if I am alone ounce again?

Dazai: if it makes you feel better even if everyone else is gone, you will always have me

Atsushi: Dazai-san!!!🥺

*present time*

Dazai: CHUUYA WE NEED TO GO BACK TO JAPAN RIGHT NOW, someone needs me!!!

Chuuya: geez okay, let me hijack a helicopter first

Nikolai: I can take you with my ability

Dazai: what are you doing here right now???

Nikolai: I was taking selfies with Dos-kun's hand *waves the hand*

Chuuya: you're going to Japan too?

Nikolai: I need to meet the love of my life

Chuuya: you mean your enemy?

Nikolai: it's the same thing

Dazai, to himself: don't worry Atsushi-kun I'll come back. Stay strong. Kunikida will be with you until then.

"WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING IN SHIBUYA?!"

I literally hate in fan fiction when dazai finds out about kunikida's death CHUUYA IS THERE AND COMFORTING HIM LIKE SHUT UP LET DAZAI DEAL WITH KUNIKIDA DEATH I WANT TO SEE DAZAI SUFFER WITH KUNIKIDA'S DEATH I DON'T WANT CHUUYA THERE 😭😭😭 PLUS WHY WOULD CHUUYA COMFORT DAZAI WHEN HE PROBABLY BE EITHER SHOCKED OR SURPRISED THAT KUNIKIDA DIED 😭😭