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Soukoku - Blog Posts
everything is a reference. and i mean EVERYTHING, so here is a list of everyday things i associate with my favorite charas / ships / fandoms- i want you, YES YOU, to guess what their connection is (keep in mind, some may seem fairly obvious):
rats, snow, russia, ushankas, cellos (string instruments in general), literally anything white or purple, fish (mackerels especially), bandages, trench coats, bolo ties, suicide, slugs, small things, red tattoos, waistcoats, gravity, dress shoes, doughnuts, bicycle wheels (im so sorry if you understand this), glasses, raccoons, dogs, birds (doves), dolls, anything medical . . . .
add your own and i suppose ill guess what your reference is too!
Little comic based off @petitesmafia's tweet here!!
Chuuya would have 10 dogs if the universe allowed him to.
A trick of the eyes
One shot
Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
Ship: Soukoku - Dazai x Chuuya
A/N: Check request status on Masterlist
TW: Dark imagery, art has gore, Dazai having hallucinations, not quite angst in terms of their relationship, just Dazai's typical mental problems, he does eat in the end, alludes to cannibalism, doesn't actually happen don't worry, art below the cut is a visual description and has gore, don't read while eating, especially if it's Ramen
A/N: This was another thing I had done for Whumptober lol and never posted. This was day 12: Cannibalism
Dazai stared down at the fresh bowl of ramen Chuuya had graciously decided to make for him after he, on a whim as he told Chuuya, broke into the luxurious penthouse far above the city of Yokohama. Dazai wasn’t hungry and he had a feeling his typical ‘problem’ would show face again.
It was a problem he didn’t tell anyone, not even Chuuya. While Chuuya likely had an idea of what Dazai’s problem with food was, there was simply no way he knew exactly what the problem was, and Dazai was determined to keep it that way.
Dazai looked away, resting his head in his right palm as he looked to his left.
Chuuya let out a growl, “You better fucking eat, you piece of shit.”
They both knew that Chuuya would never expect Dazai to eat all, let alone half of the bowl. Dazai also knew, though, that Chuuya would be mad if he didn’t touch any of it. Dazai had asked for Chuuya to make some after all. Well- actually, ‘asked’ is the wrong word, more like he pestered Chuuya until he did.
Dazai had actually wanted some, despite not being hungry. Chuuya’s cooking was rather good and was one of the few people’s cooking he could stomach to eat a decent amount of.
Now, however, Dazai was struggling to bring his eyes down to the bowl. He knew it was ramen, of course he did, but… ramen certainly isn’t what his eyes were seeing.
If Dazai looked down he’d be met with the sight of two eyes staring back up at him in a mess of intestines and blood.
Dazai rubbed aggressively at his eyes for a few seconds and when he looked back down the hallucination was gone. Gone was the bowl filled to the brim with human parts and back was the bowl of delicious looking ramen.
Dazai swallowed down the lump in his throat and picked up the chopsticks. If he wanted to be able to eat anything he had to now before the hallucination came back to deceive his eyes.
-----------------------
Chuuya watched as Dazai rubbed aggressively at his eyes before looking down at the ramen and digging in. It was rare to see him eat so quickly. Chuuya could feel something was off but whatever it was gone now. Chuuya let it slide as long as Dazai was eating. Chuuya looked down at his own bowl of ramen and began eating, with a little less rigor as Dazai, of course.
End Note: Check Masterlist to see if Requests are OPEN or CLOSED
I’m not sure if I like this but it is done. Now I can finish the skk kiss comic
I finally finished this seen page madness!!! Here’s more of my t4t soukoku au
The next day they went their separate ways and never spoke of it again.
Wonderful start to my day, very cute
Damn. Is that a new soukoku dump? Might be.
The way I audibly gasped at how cute this is
Look at these bbs✨✨
Tumblr Top Ships Bracket - Round 2 Side 2
This poll is a celebration of fandom and fandom history; we're aware that there are certain issues with many of the listed pairings and sources, but they are a part of that history. Please do not take this as an endorsement, and refrain from harassment.
Oneshot -Pushing and Pulling. Home.
Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
Ship: Soukoku - Dazai x Chuuya
A/N: This is the fanfic version of the comic with quite a bit more detail in it than the comic did. It has Dazai's direct thoughts leading up to his attempt from the beginning of the comic, as well as a look at Chuuya's own thoughts.
TW: blood, self-harm, suicide attempt, language
A/N: Also posted on Ao3
Comic version HERE
Nothing…
Numbingly empty…
A mirage of thoughts ran rampant throughout his mind with no end in sight. They pushed and pulled him down with arms of inky black darkness into the sheets below.
The tug had been growing worse, harder to ignore over time. It came on gradually, leaving him little chance to fend them off before he realized it was too late. It had taken him too long to notice the grip of the demons in his mind.
He didn’t want to admit that even after defecting from the Port Mafia, after surviving for two years underground, after doing everything for Odasaku, he hadn’t changed.
Even after all of Fyodor’s bullshit, and he and Chuuya had finally become partners again -though now it meant more to them.
He hadn’t changed.
It had been a while since he had genuinely attempted anything, what with Chuuya’s watchful eyes. That and when he was around Chuuya, the darkness of his thoughts often receded, soothed by the ethereal man he had the undeserved privilege to call his lover.
Sadly, with their differing jobs, it was simply impossible to be with Chuuya every minute of every day.
In fact, Chuuya was currently away on an abroad mission. He was set to be back sometime tomorrow after having been gone for an entire month.
Without Chuuya around to soothe the demons in his head, he fell.
He fell victim to the grabbing hands.
Pushing and pulling.
Inky blackness.
His face contorted in a frown as a restlessness overtook him.
‘He’ll be back tomorrow.’ He tried telling himself through the cacophony of countless thoughts. Fruitless, really, but he didn’t want to hurt Chuuya. Not again.
Pushing.
Pulling.
Blackness.
Darkness.
It filled his lungs like thick black blood.
Sweet like honey with the seducing promise of relief.
A quiet mind.
With no thumping beat of a heart.
Pushing.
Pulling.
His feet hit the ground before his mind could stop him.
Pushing.
Pulling.
His hand reached for the door to the bathroom.
Pushing.
Pulling.
Chuuya had stopped messaging daily sometime after the first week. Too busy with his mission.
Chuuya hadn’t messaged him since last week.
Pushing.
Pulling.
What if he was hurt?
What if he didn’t come back.
Pushing.
Pulling.
What if he didn’t want to come back?
Pushing.
Pulling.
His clothes hit the floor by the door, the bandages on his arms and legs following.
Pushing. Pulling.
The blade cut, stinging.
Through his skin.
Through the bandages still covering his chest.
Red.
Pushing. Pulling.
Inky red blood flowed out. Seeped into his skin.
Into the pristine white covering him.
White never did suit him.
Pushing, pulling.
The water from the faucet meshed horrendously with his rampant thoughts.
His vision was flooded with a bloody red color as his arm reached out in front of him to stop the running water.
Waves of steam rolled off and over the tub.
Pushing, Pulling.
The water bled red as he stepped into the tub.
Burning.
A pleasant burning from where the blade had cut through him and from the water as it came into contact with his skin.
The burning water seeped through his bandages, further burning.
Burning to combat the endless, bone-deep, freezing cold.
The inky red blood polluted the water.
Pushing.
Pulling.
Pushing and pulling him into a soothing embrace of darkness.
Quiet.
_____________________
The door clicked behind him softly.
He could feel the exhaustion deep in the marrow of his bones as he hung up his coat and haphazardly kicked off his shoes into the genkan.
He called out into the quiet house.
“Dazai! I’m home!”
He was greeted with silence.
He was supposed to arrive home the next day, so perhaps Dazai was asleep?
It was well past 2 in the morning.
But Chuuya knew Dazai always struggled to fall asleep. And since Dazai began to live with him, he relied on him to sleep.
‘I need my Chibi heater to stave off the cold! If you leave, then I’ll be left freezing and awake!’
The memory flashes through his head as he places his hat on the dining room table.
“Dazai?”
Silence.
He made his way towards their shared room when he noticed the bathroom light on.
He knocked softly on the door as he called out to him.
“Dazai?”
There was no response.
A seed of fear sprouted into a hideous flower in his gut.
Dazai wouldn’t… He had been clean for so long now.
He called out again, hopeful to get a response this time.
“Dazai? Are you in there?”
Silence.
He reached to open the door, unlocked.
His mind went blank as he looked at the bloody scene in front of him.
He stood there for a second that felt more like an hour, a day, a month.
He could see the steam from the likely scalding temperature of the water.
The blood was a vibrant red. Fresh.
The scent of iron filled his nostrils.
Then the panic set in.
He suddenly felt like a victim to the gravity he normally had flawless control over.
He rushed forward to check Dazai’s pulse, with little care for the blood staining his clothes.
Through his own rapid breathing, he was able to subtly feel Dazai’s slow pulse.
There was so much blood.
He let his mind wander to what could have happened while he was gone while he fell back to old habits. Picking up Dazai’s limp body, unplugging the drain, pulling off what remains of his bandages. Rinsing the blood still on him, redressing his wounds with two layers of bandages to avoid any more bleeding.
When he got to the ‘clothing Dazai’ step in his habitual process, Dazai began to stir into consciousness as he pulled up boxers over his legs.
He hardly noticed as his mind continued to drift. His hands moved to pull one of Dazai’s heavenly soft sweaters over him.
He left Dazai sitting on the stool in the bathroom as he finished cleaning the mess, mumbling to himself as his mind returned from drifting.
“…got Dazai cleaned, bandaged, and dressed…”
He pulled off his blood-soaked gloves, tossing them into the trash.
“Dinner can wait I guess… and I’ve got to change…”
He looked over himself, clothes stained red in blood.
“Dammit! And I’ve still got that report…”
A soft sniffle from behind him pulled him from his thoughts.
Behind him was Dazai, still sitting just like how Chuuya had left him to clean up.
He crouched down in front of him, reaching out to wipe some of his tears. Hesitant on whether Dazai was up for touch.
When Dazai didn’t shift away he brought his hands down to gently run along Dazai’s thickly bandaged knees.
He was at a loss for words, not having quite come to terms with the fact that if he had returned tomorrow, as was planned, Dazai would have been dead when he found him.
“…Do you wanna talk about it?”
His voice hardly sounded like his own, tentative, shaky, unsure.
Finally, a response reached his ears.
“Not really…”
Dazai’s eyes were blank, devoid of any feeling, as he looked into them.
He closed his eyes, sighing, both at finally being able to hear his voice and at the emotionless stare.
Then, Dazai spoke again.
“Can we… talk tomorrow?”
He didn’t realize he had been frowning until he felt his lips pull at a small smile.
Before they had gotten together, Dazai would never have asked to talk about something. If he didn’t bring up something then Dazai would never do it. And even when he did try to bring something up, Dazai would attempt to deflect and distract him from the conversation.
“Yeah… tomorrow. For now… I’ll change, we can order food and watch a movie. How’s that sound?”
“Cuddle?”
A soft chuckle left his lips at the hesitant tone Dazai spoke in.
“Yeah.”
Chuuya was hardly paying attention to the show, thinking of everything they would have to talk about tomorrow.
He felt Dazai nuzzle into him, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked down at the soft brown curls against his chest. Dazai’s head was turned toward the TV but from what he could see, Dazai’s eyes were closed, asleep.
He smiled, letting his eyes close.
He could feel sleep begin to overtake him now that he was finally home.
Home being the man in his arms.
Comic -Pushing and Pulling. Home.
Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
Ship: Soukoku - Dazai x Chuuya
TW: blood, self-harm, suicide attempt, language
Fanfic version: Pushing and Pulling. Home.
It's also posted on my ao3 which is now linked on my master list
Working on a mini soukoku comic that I'll hopefully actually finish
Got the idea during science and it won't leave me alone so I must draw
I might make it digital... eventually
...hopefully
Anyways, it's pretty dark considering the first picture I drew was of Dazai attempting...
Oh and with that second au I mentioned, I'm currently changing some of the bigger things so it will be a bit
BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
Dazai:
-Relationship Headcanons
-Come here. Sit with me. - x Chuuya -Why are you awake? - x Chuuya -Pushing and Pulling. Home. - x Chuuya / Comic version -A Trick of the Eyes - x Chuuya / +Art -Together Forever - x Chuuya
-And if you can forgive, love will truly live , PART 2 - x Reader -Perhaps in another life. In another time - x Reader
Chuuya:
-Relationship Headcanons
-Come here. Sit with me. - x Dazai -Why are you awake? - x Dazai -Pushing and Pulling. Home. - x Dazai / Comic version -A Trick of the Eyes - x Dazai / +Art -Together Forever - x Dazai
Fyodor:
-Relationship Headcanons
Requests:
Rambles:
-I'm procrastinating
Alternate Universe:
-Mordred's Lullaby
Why are you awake?
Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
Ship: Soukoku - Dazai x Chuuya
Prompt:“Why are you awake?” “I could ask you the same thing.”
TW: mentions of self-harm, suicidal thoughts/idealization, vague mentions of an eating disorder but not specified, self-deprecating thoughts
A/N: Also posted on my ao3, you can find the link on my master list
After being together for a few months and going on cheesy expensive dates, at the expense of Chuuya’s wallet, Dazai moved in with Chuuya. And slowly, with Chuuya’s help, Dazai was getting better. He still slacked off at the office, primarily just to annoy Kunikida, but he was getting more sleep and Chuuya did his best to get Dazai to eat at least three times a day even if it was small; something was better than nothing, as Chuuya had put it.
That doesn’t mean it always worked out, of course. There were still days when Dazai struggled to eat anything at all. And there were nights like tonight where, even within the comforting warmth of Chuuya’s arms, Dazai couldn’t seem to fall asleep.
His thoughts were a little too loud tonight, it seemed. Normally, there would have been signs the previous days; signs of Dazai slipping back towards the darkness. However, this time, it seemed to come onto him suddenly, and worst of all, after Chuuya had already slipped into unconsciousness. And though Chuuya hadn’t said anything of work being tiring, Dazai could tell it had been tough. Nothing Chuuya couldn’t handle... but it certainly left him more exhausted than usual.
Dazai would… feel bad, if he woke him up now. Chuuya did so much for him. He cooked for him, he made sure Dazai was showering, and even if Dazai couldn’t get himself to shower, Chuuya would take a bath with him to compromise. When Dazai felt disgusted by his own body, Chuuya was there to kiss every single inch of his body with affirmations pressed into his skin.
And Dazai did what? What did he ever do for Chuuya? Nothing. All he ever did was burden Chuuya with all his emotional crap.
So, no. No, he wasn’t going to wake up Chuuya for something he should be able to handle by himself. He had handled it for the four years he was gone, he could do it again. Although, handle was probably the wrong word. He handled it by ignoring it. He handled it with his… self destructive habits…
He wouldn’t. He couldn’t ruin all of Chuuya’s hard work. Chuuya had kept him from harming himself since they got together almost a year ago now.
Chuuya would surely be mad if he ruined it now.
Dazai slipped himself out of Chuuya’s grasp and out of the covers of their bed. With silent steps, he made his way over to the balcony, swiftly opening the sliding door before closing it behind himself.
He hissed as his bare feet hit the freezing ground of the balcony deck. It was the middle of the night, probably sometime around 2 or 3 in the morning by now, if Dazai had to guess. The autumn air was crisp and beginning to grow colder as the end of the year creeped up on them.
Dazai breathed out softly, watching it fog up in the temperature difference.
He leaned against the railing, watching the city lights of Yokohama at night below him. Every so often, a car would pass below and his eyes would subconsciously follow it into the distance.
This did nothing to stop his racing mind, but made him far colder than he was before. He was tempted to retreat back into the comfort of Chuuya’s arms, but something kept him from doing so.
He looked down.
It was far.
No human could possibly survive a fall that far.
Chuuya could.
Dazai couldn’t.
His fingers twitched where they were on the railing. His hand closed around the railing.
No.
His hand shook, clasped around the freezing metal.
His mind drowned out the sound of the city around him.
His thoughts were screaming in his mind.
It was loud, a cacophony of sounds. Thoughts.
“Why are you awake?”
Dazai’s eyes widen. His hand gripping even tighter around the metal. His body betrayed no other signs of his shock. He didn’t turn around.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“The bed grew cold without a certain clingy mackerel occupying the other side.”
A soft sigh sounded behind him before warm hands found their way around his waist.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
“Yeah.”
“If you’re not up to talk right now, that’s fine, but lets go back inside.” Chuuya spoke, his words pressed into Dazai’s back as a kiss accompanied them. “You’re shivering.”
Was he? He hadn’t even noticed.
He unclasped his hand from the freezing metal.
Chuuya let his hands fall to his side and already Dazai missed their warmth.
Dazai silently followed Chuuya inside. He slipped back under the covers, letting Chuuya close the door before joining him.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
Dazai shifted closer to Chuuya, letting his head rest against Chuuya’s chest. He listened to Chuuya’s heartbeat for a moment as Chuuya’s arms wrapped around his waist.
Dazai’s voice was quiet as he spoke into Chuuya’s chest. “Tomorrow?”
He could feel the soft sigh that left Chuuya. “Tomorrow.”
A hand left Dazai’s waist from under the covers to run though his hair. Dazai let out a soft, content, sigh at the fingers in his hair.
“Try and get some sleep for me, ‘kay princess?”
Dazai felt his cheeks heat up at the pet name, burying his face further into Chuuya’s chest in response.
“I love you.”
“Love you too, princess.”
Dazai is a princess who loves to be spoiled rotten and no one can change my mind, and of course, who better than Chuuya to fulfill his need to be taken care of?
I'm going to ignore the fact that me writing Dazai being taken care of is just me coping 🙃
Come here. Sit with me.
Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs
Ship: Soukoku - Dazai x Chuuya
Prompt: “Come here. Sit with me.”
TW: none that I can think of.
A/N: Also posted on my ao3, the link is on my master list
It was a relatively slow day.
After everything with Fyodor and the Decay of Angels had settled, everyone had gotten a well-deserved few days off.
Their relationship had been slow to reach the point it was at now, what with Dazai’s disappearance from the Port Mafia and his 2-year absence before re-emerging in the Ada and then another 2 years before Chuuya and Dazai had actually run into each other.
What had been left of their relationship was smoldering coals. They still trusted each other, as Chuuya had hardly hesitated before using Corruption at Dazai’s request. But Dazai had treated Chuuya horribly, he had left without so much as a text explaining what he was doing. He had blown up his car.
He didn’t believe it was possible for someone as divine and beautiful as Chuuya to have any fraction of a good thought about him. Sure, he had patched up Dazai plenty of times when he was in the Port Mafia and he had stopped him from many attempts but it was only because he relied on Dazai to use Corruption,… right?
And yet, here he was, in Chuuya’s penthouse, with him, being taken care of. He and Chuuya had gotten closer, closer than they ever were. They had yet to put a label on it.
And while Dazai knew that it was only because of their clashing schedules, their different jobs. They worked on different sides now. Dazai knew that they simply hadn’t the time to truly talk about it. And then everything went to absolute shit with Fyodor and then they hardly had time to even relax on their own time.
But now everything was over. The dust had settled and they finally had time to talk and to sleep, to just be around each other. Chuuya was back to making sure Dazai ate three meals a day, even if his portions were small. But… they hadn’t talked about it yet.
Dazai tried to not let the sapling of doubt grow and bloom within, but his own self-deprecation was relentless in its ability to make him spiral in his thoughts. He was supposed to be relaxing but his brain couldn’t seem to shut itself up.
“Dazai?”
A voice snapped Dazai from his never-ending thoughts. The voice, Chuuya, his brain provided for him, sounded from the direction of the living room. Dazai was still sitting on a stool at the kitchen island. He had been doom-scrolling as his brain spiraled.
Deciding to finally stretch his legs, he stood up. He stretched until he heard his back pop, sighing as he dropped his shoulders, and relaxed. He sluggishly made his way toward the living room. The sleeves of the sweater he was wearing were rolled up to his elbows and his hands were in his pockets.
“Yes?” He stopped at the entrance of the living room, looking towards where Chuuya sat on the couch, the TV had some movie on that Dazai didn’t care to figure out.
Chuuya looked up towards Dazai, a small, pleasant smile adorned his face. “Come here. Sit with me.”
Dazai didn’t have the energy to whine about how the dog shouldn’t be the one giving out orders, the exhaustion showing itself as prominent bags under Dazai’s eyes, so he wordlessly listened. Walking languidly to the open spot next to Chuuya, who immediately brought his arm from the back of the couch to Dazai’s waist to pull him closer as soon as he was sat on the couch.
“So… you’ve been living with me for the last few months…” Chuuya trailed off as if he wasn’t sure how to continue or word his question.
Dazai stilled, though tried his best to hide it. So they were having that conversation. Had he done something over the last few months to annoy Chuuya to get him to kick him out? Of course, he had, what was he thinking? He couldn’t stop his destructive habit of annoying Chuuya till he retaliated, more often than not, physically and violently. He had done it when they first saw each other after 4 years. Surely Chuuya has realized how horrible Dazai is and is going to kick him out. He only wants to let him down gently…
_____________________________
Chuuya felt Dazai tense under his arm. Though he hid it exceptionally well, as expected of an executive, even if he no longer is one. Chuuya’s pretty sure he wouldn’t have even noticed had he not had his arm around him and his trained eyes on him.
It was hard to tell what was going through his mind, and he doubted it was easy to understand even if he could see it all happening in front of him. He imagines it would be too fast to comprehend most of it.
But while he can’t read his mind word for word, he does know Dazai better than anyone else. He was the brawn to Soukoku and Dazai was the brain. They had to be able to read each other to some degree to function as one. So Chuuya had an inkling of an idea what Dazai was thinking.
It was probably something self-deprecating, and probably something Chuuya would find stupid.
Truly, Dazai was the smartest dumbass he knew. A genius who wouldn’t know affection if it slapped him in the face ten times,… or punched him perhaps a few too many times that he had lost count.
Chuuya pulled himself from his thoughts. He needed to relax Dazai so he could get it through his thick genius skull how much he loved the lanky man sitting next to him. He let his hand on Dazai’s waist rub nonsense shapes into his sweater in a comforting manner.
“Relax, it’s nothing bad.” He spoke in what he hoped was a comforting tone. It seemed to work as Dazai minutely relaxed into his side, though traces of his overthinking mind still lingered.
“You’ve lived with me for the past few months… and now that all the dumb shit with Fyodor is done and over with, I… I want to take a step further if you are ready, or if you even want to…” Chuuya trailed off awkwardly. They didn’t often voice their emotions or thoughts to each other, not really seeing the need for it as they were typically adept at reading each other. If they weren’t capable of at least that then they wouldn’t have ever been such terrifyingly great partners.
But at last, it seems that neither of them is knowledgeable enough on the topic of affection and love with how blind they are to each other's feelings towards them. At least… Chuuya hoped that was the emotion in Dazai’s eyes that he couldn’t seem to read. He hoped it was a mutual feeling of love.
____________________________
Dazai’s mind was attempting to process a million thoughts that were running miles in seconds. He was so caught up in them that he hardly realized what Chuuya had said, so terrified of being rejected before he even had the chance to confess. He had to backtrack his thoughts to process what Chuuya had said and when he did…
How… How did Chuuya not hate him? How can someone he treated so horribly, like nothing more than a dog not hate him? Him. How could anyone ever feel anything other than disgust and loathing when thinking of someone like Dazai?
He vaguely felt something wet on his face, but his mind paid no attention to it in lieu of overworking its ever-present self-deprecating thought process.
____________________________
Chuuya could see, and feel, as Dazai stilled in his arms once again.
And then, as Chuuya looked at his face with slight worry, he saw it.
Tears.
Chuuya can’t recall a time he’s ever seen or heard Dazai cry during their 7, almost 8, years of knowing each other. As an ignorant teenager, he believed that someone such as Dazai couldn’t cry, but he knew better than that now. Dazai was as much a human as anyone else, and therefore capable of crying, of being sad, of feeling.
Dazai’s body trembling slightly pulled him from his thoughts. He now reached to rearrange Dazai to face him on the couch. Though Dazai didn’t fight it, he didn’t seem to respond to the movement at all, completely lost in his endless thoughts.
Chuuya reached out his hand to Dazai’s face, cupping his cheek gently. Dazai made no reaction.
“Dazai? Hey, you alright?”
Dazai blinked and suddenly he seemed to be present once again. He looked up at Chuuya with glass eyes.
Chuuya offered a small smile. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” Dazai responded, his tone flat as he looked at Chuuya.
Chuuya noted that Dazai probably wasn’t even aware he had cried.
“Dazai, you’re crying.” He let his thumb rub under Dazai’s left eye in a hopefully comforting way.
“Oh…” Dazai made no movement to wipe away the tears, rather, it seemed like the admittance of it brought down the last bit of Dazai’s barrier.
Dazai looked down and the tears once brimming his eyes fell down his face. Chuuya’s hand previously resting on Dazai’s cheek had moved down to the back of his neck when he looked down and now slightly tugged, prompting Dazai to cling to him.
Dazai’s voice was shaky when he spoke. “H-how…” His voice faltered but Chuuya let him work out his words.
“H-how could you possibly love me? Me? All I’ve ever done was treat you like shit…”
Chuuya sighed. He had a feeling that was the reason behind Dazai’s reaction.
“Yeah, you’ve treated me like shit plenty of times, as I have with you. But you also have saved my life so many times I’ve lost count. And you’ve reassured me I was human every time you noticed me doubting it, even if you often found a way to insult me while doing so. No matter how much we teased and annoyed each other when it came down to it, we had each other's backs. We have each other’s back. There’s no one I trust more than you.”
Dazai looked up at Chuuya in shock, as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“There’s no one I love more than you, Osamu.”
Dazai clung to Chuuya, burying his face into the crook of Chuuya’s neck. Though Chuuya couldn’t see the tears cascading down Dazai’s face, he could feel them soak into his shirt and he could hear Dazai’s choked back sobs.
Between Dazai’s sobs, Chuuya just barely caught his choked-out words.
“I love you too, Chuuya.”
Omfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfgomfg
I just love this artist makes me want to cry everytime i see their art❤️❤️❤️
He just woke up and he already got traumatized poor boy
Silly soukoku doodles
Cuz he wanna feel ✨FaNcY✨
can someone please tell me why Dazai is holding that joystick like a fucking wine glass 😭
Hi everyone! Just installed tumblr and would be glad to meet my audience :P
So these are my works, hope you'd like it
Imagine an AU where everyone saw in black & white until they met their soulmate, then they saw colors for the first time.
Cue Dazai being kicked into a wall & upon opening his eyes the first colors he sees are within flaming red hair & piercing bright blue eyes. A green jacket hugging the kids figure as his foot remains planted on Dazai’s chest.
Chuuya sees stark white bandages across one eye and beneath an ill fitting white dress shirt. Dark chocolate colored locks. One honey brown iris with flecks of maroon shining in the sunlight. A black coat lying beneath him.
They both freeze for a moment, staring intently at each other, eyes blowing wide at colors they've never seen before.
Then they make eye contact, holding it for one beat, then two.
Then slowly it dawns on them what this means and, of course, their expressions move from awe to irritation. They bicker immediately, neither of them willing to give into fate.
Chuuya scoffs. "Oh fuck no, no way my *soulmate* is some shitty kid from the fucking mafia."
"How eloquent. As if such a tiny, brutish *slug* could ever be *my* soulmate." Dazai mocks in return.
Bonus points if the colors fade when they’re not together, until they accept they’re soulmates that is.
Im sorry but the fucking brainrot of chuuya nakahara will not stop so I need to share my fucking vision.
Chuuya Nakahara, who's joints lock up and who has severe chronic pain, who wears gold rimmed reading glasses with little gold chains to help hold them when he's outside the mafia (and thus not wearing contacts to hide his blue-brown eyes), Chuuya who has summer freckles that come out from the sun, who has a wheelchair, cane and service dog respectively just in case that he can never use while on duty, who has heart problems thanks to stress and a god in his body, who has a small clinic outside of Yokohama that knows him by name.
Chuuya Nakahara who, when he figured out that this was happening to him, had a full mental breakdown over being unable to fight properly, and thus not being useful, who then pulled away from Dazai, who never managed to push the right buttons to get him to spill what was happening, leading Dazai to leave the Mafia thinking Chuuya hated him.
Chuuya who then, thanks to this "confirmation" that he wasn't usefull anymore, even if Dazai didn't know, leading him to not open up about this to any other mafia member, with only Mori knowing, and keeping the details even from him.
Dazai who, when in the middle of a case for the ADA, suddenly sees Chuuya rolling down the sidewalk with his wheelchair, freckles and mismatched eyes on full display with his service dog beside him, having his world completely turned on its heal as he falls in love with the same man a second time while simultaneously putting down the pieces that led to his complete misunderstanding of what'd happened between the two years before.
Please tell me there are others who see my vision because this shit is fucking haunting me rn.
can't stand them
Imagine an AU where everyone saw in black & white until they met their soulmate, then they saw colors for the first time.
Cue Dazai being kicked into a wall & upon opening his eyes the first colors he sees are within flaming red hair & piercing bright blue eyes. A green jacket hugging the kids figure as his foot remains planted on Dazai’s chest.
Chuuya sees stark white bandages across one eye and beneath an ill fitting white dress shirt. Dark chocolate colored locks. One honey brown iris with flecks of maroon shining in the sunlight. A black coat lying beneath him.
They both freeze for a moment, staring intently at each other, eyes blowing wide at colors they've never seen before.
Then they make eye contact, holding it for one beat, then two.
Then slowly it dawns on them what this means and, of course, their expressions move from awe to irritation. They bicker immediately, neither of them willing to give into fate.
Chuuya scoffs. "Oh fuck no, no way my *soulmate* is some shitty kid from the fucking mafia."
"How eloquent. As if such a tiny, brutish *slug* could ever be *my* soulmate." Dazai mocks in return.
Bonus points if the colors fade when they’re not together, until they accept they’re soulmates that is.
can't stand them
......couldn't resist filling this meme for skk. meme by drawindarwin on twitter