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The Onion - Blog Posts
There is literally no difference between onion article headlines and those of real news reports anymore
Swifties need to embrace the true light
The light of the lamb, conduit to great power and promised liberator of the one who waits below.
Y'ALL đđđ
The Onionâs journalism is the only journalism that matters. Holy fuck.
Flight of Stouts!!!
Winner = River City Brewingâs Vanilla Bourbon Stout
Calvin And Hobbes embodied the voice of the lonely child
Calvin didnât have trouble focusing on the world around him, he had trouble reconciling himself to the fact that the world around him was such a disappointment. The reason the strip appealed to people both young and old is because Calvin was feeling underwhelmed at a college graduate level. Itâs not unheard of for children to experience this, particularly those who are more sensitive to their surroundings, and for many it was a relief to know that seeing the world without the luster and facade constantly created for us wasnât so unusual.Â
âCalvin made it okay to be disheartened and disappointed by life and normalized the inherent loneliness that childhood can bring.â
 He was there for us as we grew up and while we learned that things were capable of getting so much better and so much worse as we experienced puberty and beyond, he was still mired in the first grade, raging against the machine.
Full story at avclub.com
The task of reporting is not a simple one. Each and every day, reporters and editors at publications like The Onion make difficult decisions about which issues should receive attention, knowing that our coverage will influence not only how people think, but also how they act. This responsibility is at the core of an ongoing debate over whether news coverage of transgender, non-binary, and gender-nonconforming people is unduly biased. As the worldâs leading news publication with a daily readership of 4.3 trillion, The Onion is compelled to weigh in.
We firmly believe that it is journalismâs sacred duty to endanger the lives of as many trans people as possible. Full Story
Suffer and die you stipid motherfucker.
Fun fact about Tobi: I have a blistering personal hatred for Alex Jones. Mostly because he was my mentally ill, brain damaged mother's (I'm not being cruel she literally has a hole in her brain from cancer) introduction to the world of conspiracy theories and alt right bullshit.
So for years, every now and then, I put a curse on him. Curses are fun because they let you feel like you're hurting someone without ever actually doing anything illegal that could conceivably harm them. My curse was in the form of a drawing- Anubis, the Egyptian god of death and judgment, as a jackal, eating the heart out of Jones' chest.
Today I wake up to the news that Jones' stupid fucking Infowars channel was bought by the Onion, who intends to gut it out and use its corpse as a puppet to mock the ignorance the channel once espoused as truth.
I'm not saying there is or is not a god. But I have a sneaking suspicion there might be an Anubis.
This is significant. The Onion, who hands down has been one of the best satires available making poignant articles even with humor bought out one of the worst propaganda machines out there. If you really don't know who Alex Jones is, he's the evil guy who tormented the families who lost little kids when they were murdered in their school in 2012. This vile human kept accusing these families of being actors and faking the whole thing to the extent that people who listened to his show, purposefully harassed these families. Even just thinking about this again has me sobbing.
Every time there is another mass shooting, The Onion also posts their now infamous article 'No Way to Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens.
This guy and his "media empire" deserves to be torn apart. But it's not the end goal. It's just another battle against misinformation and violence in this country. But it's a win.
this article is unrealistic because it genuinely sounds more sensible than anything RFK has said in years
Claiming the fantastical creatures were âway too coolâ to leave their investigation to a handful of so-called experts, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued a statement Friday encouraging Americans to do their own research about dragons. âPeople, especially new parents looking for awesome bedtime stories, need to be reading everything they can possibly find about these ancient and powerful beings instead of blindly accepting the narrow range of depictions put forth by the mainstream media,â Kennedy wrote in a statement published on his departmentâs website, adding that too many Americans only believed what they had heard about dragons on Game Of Thrones while dismissing less conventional sources like Earthsea and the Dark Souls trilogy.Â
Full Story
