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Tired - Blog Posts
Started makin comics when I was supposed to be takin notes, turned out kinda nice, y'know? I like it so I'm giving it to you ✨
He's really tired.
Doing exams atm whilst also trying to figure out my sexuality and I am exhausted. On the bright side, I'm like 90% confident in terms of my gender identity.
I’m ace, aro and tired
Reblog if you are also LGBT+ and tired
On the journey to getting better but I am gonna complain about it the whole way through
pioneering something called "gritted teeth optimism" where everything is gonna turn out okay even if i have to bite and claw and gnash my way through it
sorry guys but he,,
Random strangers keep wishing me birthday. I dont know how I feel about it.
I was thinking that it doesnt matter. There are people who are used and I was thinking nobody cares anyway. It is more about being seen by others in that way than it is about wishing something to the other, the later is more of mental illness when mentioned.
I feel tired. I don’t think I will play any more touhou any time soon. I call it Phase 1. Like mcu movies. I’ve finished playing the “phase 1” and I shall upload the videos.
But I feel so tired just now… that boss was hard… The idea that there is harder version of that boss fight depresses me further. I bet it is just one, no, its probably hard as hell. i remember playing Solgryn boss, the thing you don’t get people is that the longer the boss is the harder it is to master the patterns and memorize the latest one. I was very bad at simon says, memory wise I am lazy hikkimori so sorry.
That said, one guy reallt sent me a very long happy birthday letter. I don’t understand, you people.
any tips for what helps with insomnia?
Slowly but surely the “I’d be rich” part of that sentence comes back…
I was just watching turbo (weird ahh movie btw lmao) and just found ANOTHER blue character voiced by Ben Schwartz
🍎 and 💜 for the ask game!!
(plz tag our system blog Xenith screwed up by using our main lol @the-eyeris-collective)
pluh @the-eyeris-collective
🍎 "if you experience amnesia barriers, are there any headmates who have inconsistent barriers?"
a: ehhhhhh not really. don't know how to explain it. we are all kinda inconsistent with these sorts of things but generally we have emotional blackouts/greyouts and we don't remember what the others were doing until later. (can be days, weeks, or months later)
💜 "do you have any age or age-identity that has more people aligning with it than others?"
a: yeah! there's a lot of adults and those with complicated ages. complicated ages for us include chronosians, those who don't have a concrete age, and those who just kinda slide around or some shit. the adults are usually in their early to mid 20's but there are a few outliers who are older
past ten
I got a question for you people
I’m the last one
whenever it’s past ten I just stop caring and let out all my energy and last remains of my social battery plus I just get weird and say all my thoughts out loud but once I get home I’m immediately passed out in bed. Is that normal or is it just my adhd?
*Trigger Warnings: Descriptions of harassment, panic attacks, PTSD symptoms, anxiety, threats of physical violence. Mentions of trauma, abuse, bipolar depression, PTSD, anxiety, coping, self deprecating thoughts, dark humor.* Sunday, May 28th, 2023
12:06pm
This is the letter that I wrote to my older (half) sister, before the texts in Part 1 the next day.
Here’s what I said to her:
“Hey Angel… I think it’s time we talk about the distance that we both have experiencing. Honestly, I don’t even know how the distance started, but it’s something that I fell into and followed. I would like to talk when you’re ready because it’s necessary that we do. That we talk about everything for as long as we both need, and that we come into this conversation ready and willing to hear each other out. Just let me know.”
“I was in such a dark place when this all started. I think after looking back on it, that I never took the time to properly explain what happened, what’s been happening…
As you know, I’ve had such an extensive amount of trauma, especially from my supposed father-figures. It was September… I was on a shuttle, trying to get to my rehearsal for dance on a Sunday afternoon. I stepped onto the shuttle, wearing my headphones, listening to the same playlist that I do before I dance. It’s my… ritual, the thing that grounds me, calms me, but also, psyches me up to go. And, that’s the paradoxical thing about having anxiety as well as bipolar depression; you have to calm yourself down in order to build yourself up to feel excited.
In that process, I missed the driver telling everyone to not get on if they were not going to the next stop, which would unfold in our confrontation.
I got on the bus, and when we arrived at the next stop, I didn’t get off the bus, which was odd, but not too unusual… until I noticed the yelling. I took out my earbuds to hear the driver yelling, and it took me a second to realize that he was yelling at me. He was trying to force me off the bus because I apparently wasn’t supposed to be on otherwise.
I was confused, and shocked, and frightened, but I found the courage to ask why. I didn’t know at the time that he had said that he would swing back around to get the people going to main campus. I got frustrated with how he was acting, because we would get there eventually ‘cause the route is continuous, as all bus routes are, but he kept getting more aggressive as he was trying to force me off. His reasoning was, “because he said so”, instead of any semblance of reason. It reached the point where other students were getting on to return home, and that spurred him to park the bus, say that he wasn’t moving until I got off, and threatened to call the police or physically removing me himself. I was panicked, so I did what my mind told me to do in the moment. I made my way off, asked for his name, which was like pulling teeth, and tried to call the office to make a complaint. He drove away, I was officially late to rehearsal, and then, I realized that I had no idea where I was.
My anxiety was building exponentially as I called the transportation office 3 times with no response before I realized there wasn’t going to be, because they are closed on the weekends. I then tried calling all my friends, with cars, to see if they could pick me up to no avail. Then, I had my first panic attack on the curb of a parking lot in an unfamiliar place, while people walked by with odd stares and no concern for me. Then, I tried calling all and any family I could, my mom, you, Camille, and Auntie Roz and Auntie Julie, but no one answered.
Cue my second panic attack.
A friend called me back, I explained the situation, but they couldn’t come get me. So, I made the decision to call an Uber with the last $11 I had. On the drive, my mom called to see what was going on. She responded to the story by saying “Get over it”. Not understanding how triggering it was for me, or caring for how upset or shaken I was. I got out of the Uber, had my third panic attack in 40 minutes, and after, I noticed the time.
Rehearsal was over, and I cried.
I called my professor to apologize and after I explained what happened, he Venmo’d me for the Uber, but that’s where the resolution of the incident stopped. I did end up filing a complaint, and they took my side, but didn’t act on any of the solutions I asked for. After that, well, I spiraled.
Part 1 -- Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7
I don’t know why, but sometimes you wanna start a new TV Show but you just don’t feel like it, so you end up watching your favorite show for the 100th time. And the feeling you get when that jeneric’s playing, you kinda feel nostalgic. Is it just me?
Hazbin Hotel characters in my style!
HUSKER <33 He looks so tired, tired boi… >^._.^<
He's such a drunkard tho… I love him. (Not Alastor up there) Tell me which one I should draw next! (I'm literally gonna do every character)
WHY ARE THESE ONLY POSTED WHEN MY ASS BOUTA GO TO SLEEP COME ON MAN
I am gonna have a great train ride tomorrow 😍😍!!!
The Rehabilitation of Death
Chapter 17: Drunken Gods
On this day, The Lamb declares a holy day. For a wedding, for a feast, and for a festival to celebrate the grand harvest.
Despite his initial reservations (and after a particularly horrid nightmare) Narinder decides to attend, if just to please the Lamb well enough that they'd leave him well enough alone after. That's the only reason, surely.
With followers intoxicated, the cult becomes a ground of wild party, and Gods are not immune to the temptation of overindulgence.
There's music, fighting, flirting, more fighting. There are shenanigans all evening; including but not limited to: uncomfortable socialization, reminiscing on one's past, impulsive decisions of the close-proximity sort, hide-and-seek games, and sparring with drunken, uncontrollable bloodlust that may or may not lead to a near-mental snap with eldritch power when you remember something you weren't supposed to.
Read Tags/Notes for Warnings. Chapter Wordcount: 25,674
Happy Reading!
i am so fucking tired. and i don’t want to go to sleep. fuck this i’m done
Happy holidays!!! Welcome to the new year
I literally hate every job in the world. I don’t want them. I don’t want ANY of them!
Sleep is a mistress of whom i wish to break, but such a temptress are they.
They whisper sweet nothings to me, sooth my aches while fanning the flames of my anxieties. They whisper of choices and possibilities, they murmer of joys and woes to come. They squeeze my heart till i can no longer breathe, they soften the agony by humming a wordless tune and luring me to the edge of a floating nothingness.
THEN THEY LEAVE ME WANTING AND ENRAGED AT TWO AM AND I HEAR HIDE NOR HARE OF THEM TILL THE NEXT NIGHT.
I set traps, i lay offerings, somenights i get so frustrated, my mind hanging on threads fraying by the second, that i can do naught more than lock the door and wait.
BUT AS I WATCH HELPLESSLY THEY EXPERTLY DISMANTLE MY TRAPS IN SECONDS, COOING AT MY FEEBLE ATTEMPTS. THEY SPARE ONLY A GLANCE AT WHAT PITIFUL OFFERINGS I CAN SCROUNGE TOGETHER, A NEW ADDITION EVERY NIGHT.
They stroll down to me dawning a ghost of a smile, so faint I wonder if it was ever there to begin. They sit next to me and they whisper. They murmer they hum until i am caught pitifully in the fantasy they craft. The guide me to the floor, i rest my head on the rot, i feel it invading my skull. The promises fall from their lips like wool shedding off to reveal coarse fur.
THEN THEY SIMPLY UNLOCK THE DOOR AND I AM LEFT ONLY WITH MISERY AND THEIR AWFUL VISAGE IN THE WIND.
Y’all I’m tried asf
Here, have a sleepy chibi me. Cuz I’m tired and can’t sleep.
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I'm so useless I'm sorry I don't get good grades I'm sorry I don't like school I'm sorry I sleep too much I'm sorry I'm not open enough I'm sorry I don't like talking over the phone I'm sorry I stay up all night unable to sleep I'm sorry I'm sad all the time I'm sorry I worry to much I'm sorry I have flashbacks I'm sorry i get scared over nothing I'm sorry I don't eat I'm sorry I have to take pills I'm sorry I cut I'm sorry I want to die I'm so so sorry
Heyyy
This debate is fucking hilarious
Ok ok, so you drew this image
Me, my mom, and one of our friends are in a debate over what is wrong with his hand
His right hand looks backwards(no offense ment here...)
The friend agrees with me
But my mother seems to think he has 6 fingers...
She is absolutely adamant about him having 6 fingers and will not accept that his hand just looks backwards
This doesn't make sense to her...
Do you see what I'm talking about here..?
Do you, the original artist, think he's got 6 fingers or that his hands backwards..?
(again, I am meaning no offense here, I love your art style, I just noticed that his hand looks funky...)
I was rushed in the process and didn't actually think about it. He has five fingers, I was in a rush with the drawing because I had to host something for my family.
The hand's backwards. I don't know. I'm just tired. In the drawing I accidentally drew him with six fingers during the inking process.
Yay.
Woke up at 3 am delirious and extremely thirsty but my water glass was empty so I was like “I know exactly how to fix this” So I googled “big water” and in my half asleep state I was certain that would allow me to manifest a large glass of water in reality. Didn’t work but now I know there’s a town in Utah called Big Water.
I just want to draw but I have such a fuckton of homework to do and I really don’t want to do it ;-;
Also look at this cutie
Maybe a new oc 🤭🤔