Bubbles7724 - Untitled

I wanna be with someone who understands my scars. Someone who wont try to change them, but understands why. I need someone whos equally or more fucked up than me.

I have a serious addiction. I cant stop. Its been a year and a half and i just keep finding new places. Anywhere i look are covered in scars. I dont know how to stop, and i dont know if i want to...

This guy told me the other day, "i think im gonna be depressed today" as if you can choose it. He doesnt know the first thing about it, because if he did, he would know that it chooses you.

- i really wish it was a choice

I think i might have cut too deep this time...

Dont give up Never give in Its never too late To start over again I know you feel lost Like theres no way home But just listen to these words And think about this poem Look up, up, up to the sky And dont be afraid to fly On the wings of faith Or to ride the waves If only you knew That these words were true That i speak the truth That you are loved Far above what you could possibly imagine You are loved with a passion Loved by everyone And if not, its their loss They must not have known what they missed out on They havent got a clue You know youre lost We all wander from Gods perfect plan But why not return? Deep down, no matter what you've been through No matter what you're going through You know the truth So why run away? Why must you still stray? Youre always avoiding these questions Because it's "too much work" Maybey cuz you think "you're too far gone" STOP! Because God ADORES all your flaws and quirks His heart breaks when you no longer think he's enough for you That you've got this Let me be the first to tell you. You've got it twisted. You NEED him! Even if your life doesn't completely fall apart You'll be incomplete without your Saviour You wont be joyful You'll be sad You wont be loving You'll be mad You might gain money, fame, and things of this world, But there will always be something missing You'll ever be whole again Not without Him Turn back to Him! He will get you through this Not support groups, not rehab, nor friends and family He already knows the real, unfiltered you You might ask "why isn't he helping then?" Because you haven't let Him yet He wants your permission Its not like you want some random person to start "fixing up" your life You would at least want them to get your consent, right? Its kinda the same thing, because the Lord is polite Some of His ways might Seem brutal and unkind But trust me when I say, you WILL be alright! It might seen crazy at times But it's one exciting ride of a lifetime! So hop on His path, And follow his ways Trust me when I say If you let Him, He will guide you day by day And trust His perfect timing And know that your His child No real harm will come to you When you let him take the wheel And if you're ever doubting, just remember He IS the real deal!

Its always in my mind, and it never goes away. I think about cutting all the time. That doesnt change. However, i dont want to anymore, and thats what makes me think im getting better.

- i mostly want the last time to be the last time.

Damn, youre a good actor. I actually thought you loved me.

- i really just wish i never found out. That i can just be oblivious, but happy.

Why am i trusting him with my body if i cant even trust him with my mind?

You know, ive always wanted to talk about what happened, but he kept avoiding it. So, i went on with my life. I found my own twisted version of closure and i got better every day. I moved on, and i knew i would be fine alone. It was like we had never even happened, and i learned to be okay with that. But then my friend joked that i was a heartbreaker and i replied that everyone else breaks my heart. Just normal sarcasm. We didnt mean anything about it. Then he overheard and looked at me. Id never seeen him so sincere. "It was all my fault." Ina ll the time id known him, i have never sene him look so serious. So sorry. Id finally moved on. Id finally gotten over the pain he left me with. I had finally forgiven him. Or maybe i just like to think i did, because here i am once again, my thoughts being consumed with nothing but him