I Love Being Ignored When I Know Someone's Online It's Great!!!/sar

"How can you stand the fact that gross, disgusting fiction about (x topic) exists??"

It's simple, I know how to be polite and ignore fiction I'm not interested in, and I don't base my concept of morality on what I personally consider to be icky or distasteful.

born to infodump forced to constantly worry if the other person actually cares or if im making sense or if i said something wrong or if im embarrassing myself or if they want me to stop talking or

How I used to feel. Maybe what I wanted was not romantic love. Maybe I just wanted to not feel lonely anymore.

I want love but I don't want to have to beg for it. Please love me too. Please acknowledge me. It's like you don't want me here anymore...are you better off without me? Is everyone better off without me?...

Bedrotted yesterday, bedrotting today, bedrotting tomorrow.

needy streamer overload

I bought the game because it was on sale so I don't regret buying it.

and it reminded me of an app called virtual and how you can be a vt-uber and shit. so i said fuck it why not im bored and lonely and might as well be a cute anime girl too.

i redownloaded it

but for fuck sakes its camera is awful at tracking

and im so goddam awful at socializing and i fucking wished it had an app on the pc BUT EVEN IF IT DID MY SHIT INTERNET IS SO GODDAM SLOW AND I CANT DO SHIT JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE

so im stuck here in my room doing nothing but be on my phone and laptop. seeing other people do things i want to do. why cant that be me also. If i can't do shit how am i going to earn money. my anxiety holds me back i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this.

the only friend i have are online but even that is a pain in the ass BECAUSE OF MY SHITTY ASS WIFI THE FUCKING PING IS SO DAMN HIGH SO IM JUST WATCHING THEM HANGOUT WITH EACHOTHER WHILE I JUST STAND BY AND WATCH I CANT EVEN DOWNLOAD FUCKING VALORANT WITHOUT IT TAKING THE WHOLE DAY BITCH ASS CUNT KYS

it's kinda annoying being asked by everyone "what do you wanna do for a living?" like girl i don't even know if i wanna be living at all

How I look scrolling thru the same three apps and rotting in bed all day everyday