I Feel So Alone All The Goddamn Time.

I feel so lonely. Not because I don't have people in my life that love me, I do. But I can't help but feel alone. I feel like a monster whenever I don't answer my friends' texts because I can't help it but feel so stressed out and tired and having to deal with people is the last thing I want to do.

I want to be loved and love people but there's an ugly monster that keeps on trying to make me feel and be lonely and alone in my own thoughts.

my mind often contradicts the heart

it says, no more.

today, the heart begs,

I will live for the both of us.

Lol I hate being fucking self aware.

I'm tired of this ritual

again I write with disdain,

my heart is heavy with sorrow

perpetually drowning in pain.

i can’t see myself old, i just see myself disappearing across the years.

✨️finally gone manic after being unable to want to breathe for years ✨️

✨Fucked it up again ✨

“Please dont expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.”

— Sylvia Plath

*goes through a hard time*

Me: I must be pretending

*feels incredibly lonely and wants to talk to someone*

Me: ew I'm too needy and weak

*experiences shitloads of emotional pain*

Me: stfu you're not a baby, gulp it down alone like an adult

Sometimes, I cry so hard I can feel it in my ribs. / I feel like the real me is backed into a corner inside me

— Ama Asantewa Diaka, from "Saturday Evening WhatsApp Message," Woman, Eat Me Whole