Lol I Hate Being Fucking Self Aware.

but being numb/feeling empty is a whole another level of worse.

sometimes the emotions get so intense that i'd rather be numb.

Along with bpd, is unreal in another dimension

having bipolar and being told you have it for the rest of your life with no cure feels so unreal to me.

I need to destroy myself to feel satisfied

I don't want to do this anymore. It fucking hurts so bad. It's not worth it. I'm tired.

✨Fucked it up again ✨

*goes through a hard time*

Me: I must be pretending

*feels incredibly lonely and wants to talk to someone*

Me: ew I'm too needy and weak

*experiences shitloads of emotional pain*

Me: stfu you're not a baby, gulp it down alone like an adult

How accurate.

- j (x)

You are just a fragment of my imagination

it feels insulting to cry out loud

when some have loved and lost you

and I've only lost.

My core self was quiet because I was told to be. And hence, this. Sigh. So many to blame but a lot to remedy. First, the need of the hour: removing triggers of all my illnesses. Let's get to that, yes.