yes, please
Craving entertainment but having absolutely no interest in anything
Kill me
How little there is to listen when you stop.
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Gentle Spirit
— Fernando Pessoa, from “The Book of Disquiet.”
And many, many valleys of sorrow and mountains of death.
Marina Tsvetaeva, from a diary entry featured in Earthly Signs Moscow Diaries, 1917-1922
I can't feel the hurt or the pain,
only the excruciating absence of happiness.
kinda wanna leave. kinda wanna ghost everyone. kinda wanna rot under a blanket. kinda wanna feel loved. kinda wanna feel wanted. kinda wanna
I feel so lonely. Not because I don't have people in my life that love me, I do. But I can't help but feel alone. I feel like a monster whenever I don't answer my friends' texts because I can't help it but feel so stressed out and tired and having to deal with people is the last thing I want to do.
I want to be loved and love people but there's an ugly monster that keeps on trying to make me feel and be lonely and alone in my own thoughts.