honeybeetlejuice

Latest Posts by honeybeetlejuice

reblog if the first musical you listened to was not Hamilton

hey so 21-92% of autistic people who menstruate also have pmdd, and I think more people need to know of that (coming from an autistic transguy who also has pmdd, and had no idea of this until their then undiagnosed pmdd drove them to a breaking point)

i think about alot how my irl bsf was being jokingly downbad for dabi/toya in art class and then our art teacher asked to see him and then when she did she heard my irl bsf out. she said "i see why you guys go so crazy for these men." we were flabbergasted

also i call him babygirl a lot jokingly, it's very much a joke, I just like calling grown fictional men that i love dearly babygirl, so when the teacher saw him she said "oh that's babygirl!"

shoutout to ms. typh idk how she puts up with us

[OC X CANON APPRECIATION POST! 🩷✨]

REBLOG IF YOU LOVE AND SUPPORT OC X CANON!!

filling out these because my sensory issues are not letting me sleep. ignore that im late and doing 14 days in one post

below read more bc long

April 1st: Do you have trouble recognizing emotions in either yourself or other people? Do you ever find it hard to tell how you're feeling or even to describe how you're feeling to other people? Have you ever had trouble properly expressing your feelings? Do you have trouble recognizing what other people are feeling? How does this make life difficult for you, if it does?

I can't really differentiate emotions besides them being positive and negative. Like I know when im upset and I know when im happy and that's about it. Others are similar, I can tell when they're upset and when they're happy but I can't make out specifics in emotions. I don't understand emotions either, I've never been able to "put myself in someone else's shoes." I try my best to comfort people, but it makes it very difficult, because I can't empathize in a typical way. Describing emotions I'm alright at according to my therapist, but that's really only after lots of psychology research and being a writer since I was four.

April 2nd: Dependence. How independent are you? Are you able to live alone? Have a caretaker? Live with a relative? Is there anything you need help with in your daily life? If you live alone, does being autistic make anything about it more difficult? Do you wish you lived with someone?

Okay, so im a teenager, so, by default I can't live alone. I'm somewhat dependent. I can do all bADLS, but it takes a lot of reminders as I often forget to do them. I struggle heavily or am unable to do iADLS but I blame that on me not being taught how to do them. I think I could be independent if I was given the right tools to be independent.

April 3rd: Talk about family. How are your relationships with your family members? Are they generally supportive of you as an autistic person? Are they accommodating to your needs? Does being autistic affect your familial relationships in any meaningful way?

I have a bad relationship with my mom but it's unrelated to my autism. My mom, my dad, and my brother are mostly understanding and supportive. My mom is also autistic so that helps me. My needs are not accommodated by them exactly, as my mom doesn't really let me advocate for myself, but my dad tries his best to get my mom to get me have a say in things.

April 4th: What are your current special interests if you have any? What are some positive ways having special interests have affected your life? What are some negative ways that they have affected your life? How long do they tend to last for you? You could even talk about past special interests if you want.

Writing, humans, computer science, natural disasters, healthcare, musical theatre, birds, alien stage, psychological horror, and anime.

April 5th: What are some ways that the neurotypical people in your life can help you specifically with the challenges you face as an autistic person? Ways they can accommodate you? How can neurotypical people help the autistic community as a whole?

Just be patient with me, please. I don't like it when im unable to talk either, I don't like it when I yell either, I don't like it when I'm accidentally rude either. People getting upset at me when my autism causes me to be in distress makes the distress worse, so please, just be patient. My individual needs are too large for me to list here, and ngl I don't feel comfortable putting that online, and no way in hell im gonna speak for the whole autistic community. I'm a low support needs afab white teenager, I can't understand what it's like to have any other kind of autism then my own.

April 6th: Talk about miscommunication. As autistic people communicating is something that is harder for us than neurotypical people, in what ways is communicating generally hard for you? Talk about how being autistic has led to an instance of miscommunication in the past. Talk about social blunders that you've made due to autism. Perhaps a situation where you misinterpreted something or where you said the wrong/insensitive thing.

I'm gonna steal the term my (also autistic) theatre teacher used, "Resting autism tone." I have resting autism tone so I seem rude a lot when im trying to be nice, because I am insanely monotone. I also have situational mutism and a stutter, so talking sucks sometimes. I use TTS at times and that helps me a lot. But even when typing, it's hard. I rely heavily on tone tags. I don't understand social cues at all so that causes a lot of miscommunications too.

April 7th: Have you had people treat you differently after you told them you were autistic? In what ways? How did you feel about it and what did you do?

Yeah. Sometimes it's infantilization and/or weird looks, but sometimes it's a "that makes sense" and then they treat me differently to accommodate me. That one's nice. The infantilization sucks. I'm not a little kid, me being autistic and a minor does not make me incapable, stop treating me like I am.

April 8th: Are you a creative person? What are the types of things you create? Do you think being autistic has any influence over the types of things you create or your creativity in general?

I'm an artist and a writer, and have been my entire life. It's helped me work through a lot of my problems caused by being autistic, because I don't understand my own problems, but I understand the ones of my characters. My autism influences my art and writing in so many ways because it's integral to who I am and I put a bit of myself in every single character I create. Also I have comorbid dyspraxia, so that affects my art.

April 9th: Do you struggle with mental health? Does being autistic affect your struggle with mental health? Do you have depression or anxiety and is it influenced by being autistic?

Yeah, I've got a lot of mental health issues. Depression, anxiety, addiction, ocd, pmdd, and ptsd. I may also have BPD but too young to say for sure. I won't get into the details of my mental health issues as it could be triggering, and also it's not something i want the whole world to know, but it's severe. You can blame autism comorbidities and a bad homelife for that. My therapist says that's the cause at least.

April 10th: Do you struggle with keeping up with physical health? Does being autistic affect it?

Yep. Literally procrastinating on getting medicine right now because I'm nervous about accidentally waking someone. I have a hard time with bADLS without reminders, as priorly mentioned. I have heart issues caused by dehydration because of it. PDA and comorbid OCD w/ an avoidance compulsion is a shit combo.

April 11th: What are some things that might come easy to neurotypical people, but which you either can't do or need help to do?

Cooking, cleaning, laundry, all sorts of chores, managing money, remembering basic self care, taking medications, tying my shoes, crochet, any sort of fine motor task tbh

April 12th: What are some social rules that you don't understand? Talk about it.

GENDER. My dad has explained to me why we have the social rule of gender like multiple times and I still hate it. WHY?? WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE IN A GENDER BOX?? Also why is me using a lot of punctuation considered rude. It adds whimsy. Let me live.

April 13th: Are you able to pick up when someone is flirting with you or alternatively when someone is flirting with someone else? Do you know how to flirt?

Yeah. I mean I have a BF, and I can tell when he flirts with me. I can flirt well but usually don't. I should flirt with my BF more-

April 14th: What are some of the most difficult aspects of being autistic to you? What makes it difficult? Talk about it.

Sensory issues. I hate constantly being overwhelmed by the smallest abnormality in senses. Actually, no, the worst part is the meltdowns. I have autistic meltdowns where I scream and cry and flail around and throw things and have no control over my actions, and it's scary. My mind is there, I know what I'm doing, but my body and mouth move on it's own. I hate it so much. Also the not being able to fit in like ever sucks.

Alright, that's all, I think. I'm gonna go take some medication for this fever I'm probably running then try to sleep. Thanks for reading :)

When you see it, REBLOG IT.

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Each alien stage character might have an instrument that symbolizes them in the instrumentals (theory below)

credits to my friend @chuuburar1n for adding some points and also helping me figure out what instruments are in some songs ^^

Basically to start, in each song with a character, an instrument is present for them, and that instrument goes in and out to fit the music. More on that later, but let me list them real quickly. I'll elaborate on each, dw!

Mizi - Piano

Sua - Violin

Till - Electric Guitar

Ivan - Drums (all songs have, but more prominent in his songs)

Luka - Violin, but instrument changes when mimicking

Hyuna - No set instrument

My Clematis

To start with my clematis, in the instrumentals, it's a piano and violin duet. Not out of the ordinary, per se, these are two commonly paired together instruments. However, what leads me to believe piano is Mizi and violin is Sua is the monologue sequence where only Mizi is speaking, there's only piano then. That's the only part in the song where there is, as it's the only part where they're not singing together. And, after Sua dies, the instrumentals come to a brief halt. When they start again, the piano remains similar, yet the violin is in a lower pitch sorta? (I don't play violin, im unaware of terminology, sorry ;-;) Because Mizi is alive and Sua is not. This one is a stretch but yeah.

EDIT: @chuuburar1n has informed me the lower pitch violin is a cello. So the violin does actually cease when Sua dies. Thank you Charly 🙏

Sweet Dream

I'm writing this out after an hours work, and realizing I completely forgot to listen to sweet dream's instrumentals and take notes.. No sweet dream, sorry! :( I'd love to see what others find if anyone else analyzes it ^^ /gen

Unknown (Till The End)

Anyway, onto Unknown. Unknown, there isn't much to really say, as it's a solo song, and most of my notes are around duet songs. However, one thing of note, is that Till is quite obviously electric guitar, and in this song, it's accompanied by piano. Mizi's instrument if my theory is correct. They're both instruments of accompaniment, so this choice to use them together interests me. In other songs in Alien Stage, the guitar is accompanied by drums, generally. This one is also a stretch, though.

Black Sorrow

Black Sorrow, there's prominent drums, which is what I believe to be Ivan's instrument based on this song and Cure. I had a hard time figuring out instruments for this one, but my friend (Thank you, Charly :]) said he heard cymbals and guitar which is typical to be paired with drums. Not much else to note.

Ruler of My Heart

Ruler of my Heart contains Piano, Violin, Drums, and possibly another instrument I can't really identify. Piano is present in all songs involving Mizi in some sort of way, as aforementioned in My Clematis. Not only that, but it takes the spotlight (although other instruments are present) when Mizi is beating up Luka. Violin also makes sense, because not only is it Luka's instrument, but it's also Sua's. And he's constantly mimicking others to try and manipulate people so, y'know, he can win. And his instrument changes with each song. More on that in other songs. I claim Violin is also his instrument as it makes his way into every song he's been in so far (Ruler of my Heart, Blink Gone, Wiege). Drums, i don't take any note of as they're present in literally every song, and at this point, neither Mizi nor Luka have any involvement with Ivan.

All-In

There's less instruments in All-In then there is in other songs. Drums, occasional guitar, and other sounds created by non instruments, like clicking and clapping. Adding to my point that I think Hyuna has no set instrument, why? Because she has no hallmark instrument in all her songs, yet also, she's a rebel, she's the only one of main cast free from the competition when introduced, hence why she lacks a signature instrument if that makes sense? It's a stretch, I know. My friend also pointed out that it could be because the rebels are out of alien stage so they don't have much musical equipment or the proper setting to make music. Hence the present of the non-conventional productions of sound to add, and the lack of instruments.

Cure

Cure's two prominent instruments are electric guitar and drums. Electric guitar is more prominent when Till sings. When Ivan begins to sing, the drums are not there at first, leaving just piano, then pick up and are more prominent. And when they both sing, they (as in Electric Guitar and Drums) both are prominent, unlike when the other's instrument is in the background of the other's part, accompanying. Also, when Ivan dies, the drums stop, leaving only electric guitar. Only the guitar, Till is left, and the drums, Ivan, aren't around anymore. I believe an instrument stopping or changing in a duet of instruments symbolizes a death generally, as it's present here, My Clematis, and somewhat in Wiege.

Blink Gone

This is where I get my Luka changing instruments motif. In Blink Gone, there is guitar, drums, piano, violin, and xylophone. Guitar picks up when Till sings, but Luka? When he sings, violin doesn't pick up, although it's played in the song by Luka, Piano does. I was stuck on this, but my friend then suggested the instrument change to represent how he mimics and changes to manipulate others. Yet it's not his true instrument. And I think that works really well. The one i believe is his true instrument, Violin, is present only at the end of the song, when it's clear he's winning. What's also worth noting is that the drums become more prominent in the parts where Till is thinking of Ivan. The end part with the Xylophone I don't have much to note on the symbolism behind it, maybe that it symbolizes childhood/innocence, I've heard people say it symbolizes Till's heartbeat? But although it does slow, you never hear it come to a halt, it just cuts out, which is why TILL IS ALI- (/j, I didn't use this in my evidence for why he's alive bc of how iffy it is. Go check out my Till is Alive theory if you want actual decent points on why I think he's alive lmao.)

Wiege

There's another point why I think Violin is Luka's instrument, and it's because this is what symbolizes him, when he isn't mimicking and he's being more true to himself when he's with Hyuna. Also, fun fact, the morse code in the beginning translates to 'ALIVE.' Because he feels alive when he's with Hyuna. Anyway, wiege has violin, piano, xylophone, and some sort of string instrument. I've talked about in the previous song how xylophone can symbolize childhood, when times were better. There's also just violin and accompanying instruments here because Hyuna doesn't have a set instrument. This is where I got iffy on my theory, because when Hyuna dies, Luka's instrument fades out, not any others. But I've realized it's a mix of how Hyuna has a lack of instrument, and Luka only feeling alive when he has HER. When Hyuna dies, he feels like he's died too; dying inside. Maybe he's still surviving, but is he really living?

I think I've covered everything and all my points and all. I don't know, I've been working on this for two hours, so my brain feels like mush. AuDHD be damned, i guess. Whether you choose to agree with me on these points is up to personal intereptation of the storyline! And if you read this far, thank you :)

Reblog to make it die faster

was laying in bed thinking about pantheon , as you do , because holy shit i watched it with my dad back in november and still i have so many thoughts , its so peak , and realized that maddie and caspian parallel penelope and odysseus and I sprinted into the living room at full speed to tell my dad. i think i scared him. sorry dad

but like OH MY GOD CASPIAN AND MADDIE SYMBOLIZE ODYSSEUS AND PENELOPE I CANNOT DO THIS RN.

this show never fails to drive me insane. it's been 6 months and it still haunts my brain

if you have OCD that moralistic post it not about you. keep scrolling. i love you

it sucks how neurodiversity terms have become misused by neurotypicals, and then when i show my struggle with that actual thing, I get treated like I'm dramatic. I'm tired man :/ like no janis, you're not going non-verbal just because you stopped talking willingly. if you are non-verbal you cannot speak at all verbally. (I'm not non verbal tho so could be wrong) if you mean situational mutism, that feels like someone taped my fucking mouth shut, and I would not be able to talk then to save my life. I'm tired of seeing the terms non-verbal, overstimulated, hyperfixation, and the like misused. ughhhh

woah mama they turned him into an ice cream flavor

the elvis blog is getting to me. I was stimming a lot earlier (because I was excited about tomodachi life 2) and I was running in circles while repeating "woah mama" a bunch. it's a vocal stim now help

tomodachi life nation, how we feeling

TOMODACHI LIFE 2 FINALLY GOT ANNOUNCED IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR 7 YEARS IM SO HYPED.

I got a new canopy :) this totally isn't an excuse to show off my favorite stuffed animals that I keep close to me when I sleep bc one of my special interests is plushies haha what. (Also musicals is one for me too and playbill blanket.) Shoutout to my lovely husband for crocheting me the bee that's pictured :]

doing all my homework in a few hour period that I was supposed to be working on over the past 3 weeks then letting myself engage in my hyperfixation as a little treat

is that an mcu reference /ij

@mocha-505 i will helena at you

anyone else? ...just me? oh okay cool just checking

why can anxiety cause psychical symptoms. why is it allowed to do that. i don't like that. no

i love being a weird kid ngl. its so fun and honestly the people considered "normal" are all the same to me and seem kinda plain? like what would being "normal" even be like what do yall even talk about.

like yeah so what if I like silly little musicals and watch anime and am a therian and am unapologetically neurodivergent + lgbtqia and dress alt and am in theatre and have obscure interests and have dyed hair and stuff like that. so what if me and my friends use archaic language as a joke and make dances + mess around + watch anime and read manga during lunch. so what if I don't fit your stupid social norms.

yeah I'm weird and cringe but im literally still a fucking teenager and being weird and cringe is apart of growing up and finding who you are !! embrace it !! embrace your whimsy !! even if you're not still growing like me and you're an adult reading this post you should also embrace your whimsy !! being whimsical is fun !! life is too short to care about what others think !!

and the people that are also "weird" that I know are genuinely the sweetest kindest funny people and I can have actual conversations with them without feeling like I'll be judged !! Find those people that make you happy !!

my point is life is short and I am also still a kid so I am cringe but I am free. I will be a kid and enjoy myself as I like while I still have the chance because every adult says don't be in a rush to grow up and my dad always raised me to be my true self :)

have a nice day and stop giving a fuck about others opinions

Shout out to all the Black ppl that can no longer participate directly in the fandom they love because of the stresses of racism 👍🏾 you contain multitudes of value and I'm sorry that the color of your skin and the power of your voice makes people not want to acknowledge that.

one of my friends said she likes that trope where someone cries while hugging someone, and that she thinks someone should draw mizi and till as that, so I made this. not the best but whatever, i just drew this for my friend sage-

fym people don't have OCs. Fym they don't daydream about complex stories in their head. Fym they don't doodle little guys they created in their notes for school. Fym they just? Don't write? Like I've been writing since I was four years old and it's just so weird to me how people just... don't. All my friends, all my family, and my s/o are all writers so it just throws me off.

also how do you need to use ai to create a story. daydream to music until it comes together like the rest of us you coward

I'm still hung up on this

Every character that has died in Alien Stage so far has all gotten a comic from their own perspective.

Sua got one where she wants to tell her 'sister' that she found paradise in the hellish place.

Ivan compares his love with Sua's and thanks Till for being the victim for his shallow feelings.

Hyuna makes sense of her love for Luka, and tell him to take his time solving her puzzle.

All of them got to tell their perspective in some way.

...Except Till.

From start to finish, he never had interviews done, he never interacted much with other and just never...spoke.

The only time we ever see him outside of the videos in in the comics from other POV's.

His own death comic was not done in perspective. It was done in his mother's.

And Io loved her son. She cherished him and wanted him to find his happiness wherever he went.

But she never truly knew him. He was snatched away from her far too early for her to ever know him.

Till is a character who we, as an audience, only know from surface observation and the thoughts of others. We have no idea of what was actually going on in his head.

We have ideas for everyone else who are dead, except Till...

...WHICH IS WHY IN THIS ESSAY, I WILL PROVE TILL IS ALI- [gunshot]

ykw cringe culture is dead. throws some of my fandom OCs at you. in gacha too minus my isat oc because gacha is fun argue with the wall

I probably won't post about my OCs on here much but I was bored sooo

(First image: Aera, she/they, alnst oc

Second image: Akari, she/they/he, bllk oc

Third image: Kioka, she/her, pjsk oc

Fourth image: Rose, she/her, mouthwashing oc

Fifth image: Olive, she/they, sbg oc

Sixth image: Adaya, they/them, isat oc)

Too late🍂