Therapist: Okay Ardyn And Ravus, Let's Work On Being Nice To Each Other. Ravus Why Don't You Make A Poem

Chuuya: How do we wake him up?

Dazai: True love’s kiss!

Chuuya: What?

Dazai: I kiss him and he wakes up.

Sigma: *Sits up* I’m awake! Don’t kiss me!

#Wakemyson

Chuuya: Alright Akutagawa. I’m going to teach you about dating.

Akutagawa: I’m not dating the weretiger!

Chuuya: Not with that attitude.

I could make traps for free Noctis if you want. Some kill and others just bring pain or traumatize people

Have any of the others like Regis, Gladio, or Ignis thought of sedating him? (I.e. Sleeper hold, a tranquilizer, or a straitjacket like Hannibal Lector style)

Gladiolus: *covers face with hands and groans*

Clarus: *scowls* You fool! You think we haven’t?!

Gladiolus: I lost count of how many times I shot him with a tranquilizer or used the sleeper hold on him. I know for a fact that he purposely pushed me to doing it so he could call me ‘the sandman’.

Clarus: Therapy is completely useless since he’s able to brainwash the weak-minded fools!

Gladiolus: Straitjackets? He knows how to escape them and has a collection. And Iggy? Regis practically made him royalty with how much power he has.

Clarus: And all to keep that son of his from destroying the city! It’s a miracle young Scientia is not a mad man like Noctis.

Gladiolus: If you have any suggestions, we’re willing to hear a few.

Clarus: I’ll give you my wealth and soul if you can stop that boy.

Noctis: *shows up* Yo, Clarinet. I sensed you were talking about me so I came over.

Gladiolus: speak of the devil.

Noctis: I’m human.

Clarus: *hisses* Lies! *points to the door* AND GET OUT.

Ais: You find my pets cute?

Mc: I would pet a gator if I know the fucker wouldn’t bite me.

Dante: Okay Verge. Let’s play a game. Take a sip every time you see something stupid.

Vergil: *looks at his brother and takes a sip*

Dante: I hope you get fucking plastered and get robbed again.

He is the view

Ardyn: *wants to enjoy the view*

Gladio: *PHOTOBOMB*

Ardyn: ………

Nikolai: *Meeting Sigma for the first time* Has Fyodor taught you about stranger danger or sexual harassment yet?

Sigma: No?

Nikolai: *grabs Sigma* PERFECT!

Atsushi: Don’t serial killer go after the whores first?

Chuuya: *Looks at Dazai* Nice knowing you.

Anyone: *shows Vergil any type of affection*

Vergil: