Latest Posts by nixisverytired - Page 4

the thing that pisses me off the most about this whole "haha trans men in womens bathrooms will make them reconsider" spin going around is that it basically pretends trans men and mascs of color dont exist and arent in very real danger

like, think about for even one second how, historically, white women have weaponized the perception of moc as inherently masculinely savage to get them killed for being threats to fragile helpless white girls

do you think the lady who calls 911 on black men birdwatching in the park is going to see a trans man of color in the womans bathroom and go "gosh! i never thought about it that way. you've really exposed the flaw in my arguement"? no. shes going to call security and that man will be brutalized or killed

(and dont even for a second think that woc will be safe either. i was getting side eyes and pointed questions long before i ever came out because my skin was brown and i had short hair. tmoc and our sisters arent fucking safe and we deserve better than being used as some white posters pithy "gotchya")

i like it when trans men and transmascs exist

i think there should be more trans men and transmascs

I’m not gonna lie, the whole “what if a big, hairy trans man started using the women’s bathroom? what are TERFs gonna do then?” thing kinda pisses me off being used as some checkmate, because it insinuates that passing trans men would have any kind of power in that situation. If a passing trans man is forced to use the women’s bathroom, you know what will happen? Security will be called on him, he’ll be thrown out, and he’ll be forced to out himself as trans in order to avoid punishment, which will put an even bigger target on his back. He’s still going to be harassed. He’s still going to be forced into an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation, and he probably won’t avoid punishment anyway because the current laws in place are never going to favour any trans person’s defence over a cis person’s.

It also completely ignores trans men who aren’t “big and hairy” and don’t pass enough to be mistaken for a cis man. Non-passing trans men (or even men who look or sound effeminate enough to be suspected) who are forced to use the women’s bathrooms are still at a huge risk of harassment or even violence, especially young trans boys who are forced into their assigned bathrooms at school. Nex Benedict was literally murdered in a girl’s bathroom. Girls and women aren’t these inherently non-violent, peaceful and submissive beings (for one thing, that’s misogynistic). Trans men and boys get beaten up by them too, because most of us pre-T aren’t considered a threat, and we fucking die.

That’s not even to mention the trouble we already have in men’s bathrooms, because if we don’t pass, cis men will interrogate us on whether or not we’re “real men” and then sexually assault us if they discover we’re trans. Corrective rapes that trans men face is not something to be ignored, and I have trans male friends that it’s happened to who are lucky to be alive right now.

Bathroom laws will affect us just as much. The violence that trans women face is something that trans men can also relate to, and both need to be talked about without people categorising all trans men as “big, hairy, strong men able to beat up anyone who tries to threaten them” when that’s not the case like 90% of the time. Acting like passing trans men are just there to make TERFs look stupid, when TERFs are the ones who are violent towards us no matter how much we pass, is just diminishing our experiences.

I’m hoping that this is as “angry” as I’ll get with a comic, but given how the world is shaping up politically at the moment, I fear that might not be the case.

It’s been incredibly eye opening to witness the degree to which some people I know are willing to bury their heads in the sand in order to avoid the reality of the awful things that are happening around them.  Awful things that they were told were going to happen.

In America, people are being black bagged and shipped off to El Salvador without due process to be held indefinitely in prisons, with the current administration now making social media posts cruelly boasting that they’ll never return. 

Make no mistake, if people are being kidnapped by the government, given no due process, and are shipped to a foreign nation to be held in prison with no intention to give them any legal recourse, we need to call these prisons what they are:

They are death camps.

The United States of America is rounding up “undesirables” and sending them to death camps. 

There are people in this country that voted for this.  No matter how nice they otherwise seem or claim to be, these people are evil to the core. 

There are also people who didn’t vote for this, but do provide social validation and acceptance to those who did.

If you are someone who thinks you’re against fascism, but you also accept fascists in your life, you are a fascist. 

There can be no acceptance of intolerance.  In the comic, the person I’m lampooning is the “Fake Trans Ally”, but you can swap out “trans” for any other group of marginalized people.  Frankly, just call this person “The Fake Ally.”

If you’re someone reading this and feel attacked because I’m calling you a fake ally, it’s time to do some soul searching.  When the history books are written about this period of American history, are you going to be someone who was unambiguously against hatred, or were you someone that treated hate as acceptable? 

Were you someone that invited hatred into your home?

Were you someone that shared a meal with hatred?

Were you someone that allowed hatred a safe haven?

If you’re someone that does that, you yourself are hateful. 

When you accept hate, you do so at the expense of those who are the target of that hatred.

Be better, our lives depend on it.

Friendly reminder that you don’t owe anyone here a debate.

Person thinks trans men can’t reclaim “tranny”?

Wow, that’s stupid. Block ‘em.

Some asshole believes that trans men are uniquely misogynistic or privileged or whatever fun discourse buzzword they’re using today?

Their prejudice is not your problem. Block ‘em.

Random blogger says trans men don’t experience (insert common form of transphobia here)?

Don’t try to prove them wrong by sharing details of your trauma. Just block ‘em.

The worst offenders aren’t going to change. They’re not going to listen to you, or engage in a good-faith debate. Speaking from experience, showing them any vulnerability will just result in it being used against you.

It’s sad, but these people are stuck in a discourse tar-pit that makes them see their trans siblings as enemies. They have to pull themselves out; they won’t hear a word you say, not when they’ve already made up their minds about you.

Don’t give them a platform. Don’t waste your time and energy on bad-faith arguments. Spend it with people who don’t make misunderstanding you their favorite hobby.

And remember:

Make sure you've blocked fite-club/rittz. Like half of the inane discourse yapping goes away when you do, it's great.

Can we take a moment to think about the younger trans men and mascs on tumblr right now?

I was a teenager when ace and transmed discourses were at their peaks, and I can’t exaggerate how badly it affected me then.

Now trans men are the latest target, and I’m terrified for trans kids.

It’s easy to say “intracommunity discourse is an online problem! Go talk to queer people irl!”, but people forget that so many kids and teenagers do not have safe or reliable access to IRL LGBT+ communities and support groups. For many, online spaces are the only option.

We need to make sure the younger members of our community are being heard, and block out the hateful voices with messages of support and encouragement. Things are bad enough for trans people right now, and it's easy to forget that trans minors are often the ones suffering the most.

To any younger trans men or transmasculine people reading this:

The hate you are experiencing isn’t normal, it hasn’t always been like this, and it won’t always be this way. It is bleeding out from a small, miserable group of self-absorbed jerks.

Don’t feel obligated to call them out, don’t feel like you have to interact with these people. Please don’t doomscroll through discourse tags; it will make you feel like everyone is out to get you.

If you want to speak up for your community, that’s fine, but please take a break if you feel like your mental health is worsening. Block anybody who so much as breathes rudely in your direction.

You’re just as trans as the rest of us. You are welcome here.

Oh, and if you want to seek out external resources and groups, PFLAG helped me a lot when I was younger. It is an American-based organization, however, so if anyone has recommendations for those living outside of the US, please let me know in the reblogs!

for no reason whatsoever here’s a reminder that if you consider yourself a leftist/punk/abolitionist/anarchist/radical in any sort of way and get called into jury duty, you are to become the most square person on earth during the jury questionnaire!!!

don’t be that guy who says fuck the police in the jury questionnaire! that just gets you sent home! if you want to generate change, interact with the case and use your jury vote for good! ESPECIALLY if it’s a high profile case!

Hey, I may not be a trans guy, but I promise I'm in your corner. Most other LGBT+ people are on your side- they just aren't aware of how bad things are, because they don't personally experience it. Anybody worth knowing is appalled when they find out how badly you're treated on here. And those who deny it can go back to kissing our oppressor's boots- they aren't worth a second thought.

As a transgender person, I can identify with a lot of the shit you're going through.

But since I'm not transmasc or a trans man, I also acknowledge that you're facing unique struggles I've never experienced. There are issues I never knew about, until the trans men in my life pointed them out to me. Such is the nature of oppression. It's impossible to know how bad things are for a demographic you aren't a part of. That's why it's so important to listen to y'all when you bring it up.

Keep going, keep fighting, and please stay alive. I'd much rather have you here than the bigots who want you gone. They DO NOT speak for us!

No one is ever actually in trans men's corner. We're freaks and stupid little girls to the right. We're gender traitors to the left. If we say anything, we're sexist, misogynistic liars, at best. White trans men eventually die from su*cide. Trans men of color die from worse. And then we're erased from history - any impact on the world rewritten as having been done by cis women. The feminist movement seems to have moved backwards and trans men are now excluded except for being the safe punching bag. We'll eventually disappear and shut up though, not because we're were told to our entire youth or after we transition to the wrong kind of man, but because we're tired.

I'm tired.

just because you slap the word “trans” in front of radfem does not make radical feminism a good thing. Yall are still parroting conservative talking points, just directing it at other marginalized groups instead.

Also, as someone who’s not a man-

Isn’t it demeaning? To act like you’re so helpless that you need a big strong man to come save you? Isn’t it insulting? To think you’re the only one who’s ever been a victim, so protecting you is a man’s job?

I’m not going to ask the men in my life to protect me, because I know we already have each other’s backs.

Trans men don’t have to be personally useful to you for them to be valuable members of the community. Stop treating them like tools.

Stop asking trans men to throw themselves on the sword so you can be shielded from transphobia.

Stop acting like it’s their job to protect you, just because they’re men.

Don’t ask trans men to defend you or speak up for you if you’re not willing to return the favor.

We’re supposed to protect each other regardless of identity; it needs to be a two-way street. That’s the whole fucking point of this community.

Trans men don’t have to be personally useful to you for them to be valuable members of the community. Stop treating them like tools.

Stop asking trans men to throw themselves on the sword so you can be shielded from transphobia.

Stop acting like it’s their job to protect you, just because they’re men.

Don’t ask trans men to defend you or speak up for you if you’re not willing to return the favor.

We’re supposed to protect each other regardless of identity; it needs to be a two-way street. That’s the whole fucking point of this community.

Transgender transphobes on tumblr:

“Trans men are subhuman! I hope all TMEs get cancer and die! Forced pregnancy isn’t that bad, these whiny bitches should be grateful they can get pregnant!”

The same trans transphobes in their personal posts: “IDK why, It’s like, I have no trans friends… I just feel so miserable all the time… everyone hates me…”

Gee, I wonder if there’s a correlation here. Maybe log off until you’ve learned to be a halfway decent person.

It does go to show that the majority of the LGBT+ community isn't like this, however. It's just a handful of deeply miserable and self-loathing people who prefer hurting others over trying to fix their own issues. Their word should never be taken as gospel, or a reflection of what the rest of us think

Don't talk to tar pits, just report, block, and move on.

To my uk trans people and allies out there.

since theres been an uptick in transandrophobia and aphobia lately:

you need to care about and support trans men and transmasc people that are asexual or acespec

you need to care about and support trans men and transmasc people that are aromantic or arospec

you need to care about and support trans men and transmasc people that are aplatonic or aplspec

you need to care about and support trans men and transmasc people that are afamilial or afamspec

you need to care about and support trans men and transmasc people that are aspec

if you feel "vaguely threatened" by a minority group, then youre a bigot, full stop.

On discord rn reading a chat i missed about the UK SC ruling (which mentions trans men by name btw). When one user asked if it affects trans men, another user just said "no I don't think so" without even checking.

This is what transmasc erasure does - it can literally make us blind to how trans men are affected because the assumption that things are only ever targeted at trans women is so widely held. Now I have the shitty job of informing the user that trans men are affected and that they could be impacted too.

 The cycle of “invisible” oppression in the LBGT+ community:

You face sexual abuse, workplace discrimination, medical discrimination, and violence

It never gets reported, or is lumped in with the statistics of a different oppressed group.

Data and “proof” regarding your discrimination is spotty or nonexistent as best, so nobody advocates for you or talks about it in the media

Other LGBT+ people don’t personally hear about it, so they claim it doesn’t exist/they have it worse while dismissing and denying your personal experiences.

The discrimination continues to happen unopposed

This isn’t me arguing that hypervisibility is any better. It goes without saying that the hypervisibility of certain groups (Trans women, gay men, etc) contributes to their oppression, and has made things incredibly dangerous for them right now.

I just want people to acknowledge the dangers of invisibility as well.

Trans men, intersex people, nonbinary people, asexual people… There are so many groups in the LGBT+ community who get left behind and ignored while society tries to eradicate us.

You need to care about people like us, too. Please include other identities in your advocacy. We can't have trans/queer unity until you acknowledge and support ALL of us.

You should start headcanoning characters as intersex

im sick of how trans men are treated in queer spaces, you think i would be treated normally but no they started shitting on men, and the moment i spoke up i got "this isnt about you youre one of the good ones"

im sorry? you only said that because you know im trans, if i didnt disclose that you would of treated me like im evil or horrible just because you dont like men.

i hope every trans man egg finds the community and support he needs to comfortably be himself

your masculinity does not make you scary

your masculine identity is not a threat or betrayal to women

it's okay to want hormones and/or surgery to feel more comfortable in your body

it's okay to want to dress and act as masculine as you'd like, whatever that means for you

there are people out there who will accept you for you

not everyone is going to project their fears and traumas onto you. many people are actively working on this, in fact

it's okay to love other men as a man

it's okay to be a man

trans man egg, i hope you get everything you need to live a happy and comfortable life as yourself

you notice how even when transandrophobes strain their brains to come up with One Nice Thing to say about trans men, it's always some version of "they are useful to me"? Like, "oh it's a shame all trans men are mras now, they'd be good for a fuck otherwise" "i used to know this cool trans man who helped me realise my own identity back in the day, too bad they all suck now" "my trans men friends say it's totally okay for me to say these things about their demographic because they're cool and normal". Never even about general contributions to culture, it's canonical that trans men are completely incapable of producing anything of value after all, not about activism, just what trans men have done or could do to specifically benefit them personally. It's really revealing of the actual motives behind opposing trans mens self-advocacy.

Would you consider the ridicule and degradation of people with micro penises a form of intersexism??? Cause ive been thinkin about it a lot and the opinion of an intersex person would be nice (and any other intersex people who see this if yall would like please!)

Yes, it's definitely a microaggression. (For those who don't know, a micropenis is enough to qualify someone as intersex given it is two standard deviations below average for their body size). I personally don't really care and make small dick jokes about myself with my friends all the time but I do believe it's just another form of body shaming that people find acceptable.

My general thoughts on small dick jokes are that yes it's intersexist but there's much worse forms of normalized intersexism to focus on. People are always gonna say mean stuff about other people's bodies, and in the grand scheme of things, making fun of guys in huge pickup trucks for presumably having a tiny penis doesn't hurt me any worse than those jokes about people with blue eyes being scary.

I don't usually reblog from people who want to "debate" the existence of transandrophobia or dismiss the issues trans men face because I think it's more important to center transmasc/trans men's voices in this conversation.

But this is a reminder that if I DO engage with someone like that on here, DO NOT harass them! Also, don't try to argue with someone who's committed to seeing everything you say in the worst possible light. Just block and move on.

I am only going to respond to this once, because I’ve found it isn’t productive to argue with people online about what terms certain queer people are allowed to coin and use.

You clearly have some internalized transphobia you need to work out. You have an incredibly patronizing and dismissive attitude towards trans men and transmascs. You reblog from people who are actively hateful and bigoted, not just towards trans men, but nonbinary and intersex people as well. You reblog posts talking about how much you want to fuck trans men while dismissing their concerns, which comes of as fetishistic.

Being trans yourself does not give you a free pass to act this way.

It doesn’t matter if you think the term “transandrophobia” is valid or not, or if you claim it comes from problematic roots.

You are not a trans man. You are not part of their community. You do not get to say what words they get to use, and they do not need your permission to discuss their oppression. You do not get to say what they do or do not experience, because you do not KNOW their experiences, and you clearly aren’t willing to listen to the ones that disagree with you.

Look at the replies and reblogs here, how many people are saying your attitude towards trans men is insulting and demeaning. Regardless of your opinion on the word transandrophobia, you are behaving inappropriately. This much is clear.

Additionally, you are dismissing not just the struggles of trans men, but intersex and nonbinary people as well. The supreme court is actively hurting these groups, and your refusal to acknowledge this shows that either you are ignorant of the struggles of other LGBT+ identities, or you just don't care.

You are not immune to holding transphobic and bigoted ideals. Everybody in this society has them regardless of identity, and it’s your job to acknowledge your biases and unlearn them. Learn to support the rest of the LBGT+ community outside of the groups you belong to, or at least work on your own internalized transphobia before you try to join these discussions.

Fighting for your rights is not like sharing a pie. I promise you can care about transmisogyny and the issues trans women are facing without dismissing the concerns of your transgender brothers and siblings.

Trans men I love you. Trans-androphobia is not real. Putting ‘trans-‘ on a phenomenon that doesn’t exist does not describe a new thing. What you’re facing is overlapping transphobia and misogyny. I’m sorry people online got mad at you for saying it’s that, but it’s that.

. You are men, regardless of if you dress fem. Bigots and sexists don’t see you as the man you are, or even as trans. It’s not in a “transgender” way they hate you; they see us as bad men or women, to correct however violently the group finds. Which is misogyny. It’s obvious to me, a trans woman who doesn’t easily pass, that misogynists see trans people simply as bad male/females.

Cis women who don’t do femininity (at least the patriarchy’s standards) are treated the same BY THESE PEOPLE as trans men; as something to correct into an incubator. Lesbians, hairy and fat women, racialized women, strong and confident women receive these same things. Women whose muscles are visible are told that their strength makes them ugly. Which is misogyny. And the disgusting things people say about T’s effects on you is rooted in that.

Trans men I love you. I’m sorry that everyone parrots that men are also affected by patriarchy, yet you feel unease at using the word misogyny. Misandry and androphobia are words for League of Legends players though.

Trans men I love you. You do not want your issues to be a Supreme Court decision removing specifically your personhood, nor do I. What you face is misogyny. Let’s call it that, and face it together 💖

With my issues having been ignored for 21 years, I’d rather it than at very best, everyone around me debating how much I should exist in public.

fun fact! the coiner of the term transmysogyny supports a word for discrimination against trans men.

I hope this isn’t rude, but can I add on to this?

Anon, I’m so fucking sorry that you’re dealing with this shit both online and offline. I can’t say much for what you’re going through at home- just know that it will pass, and one day you will be free of the people who are hurting you right now. It’s not your responsibility to educate them or justify your own existence; please just focus on keeping yourself safe and finding joy and gender euphoria where you can get it.

Online, we are obviously having a transandrophobia problem. It is rampant right now, yes, but the majority of the community does not hate trans men or transmascs. The hate I see all comes from a very vitriolic, hateful, and regrettably LOUD group of people. But this group is small. It may seem like they’re everywhere and everybody agrees with them, but nothing could be further from the truth. Hateful, angry people are more likely to leave comments and rude reblogs than the ones who sympathize, and this can make it seem like they outnumber those who care.

Most people are ignorant, not malicious. I’ve found that if you diplomatically and frankly describe what’s going on and what you’ve been through, they are usually understanding. Most trans people care more about solidarity than nitpicking or denying transmasc oppression. The invisibility of your community just means they usually need to be reminded that you’re here and you’re hurting too.

The ones that react poorly simply aren’t worth your time. My advice would be to block literally everyone who’s pissing on the concept of transandrophobia. Block ANYONE who gives you the slightest hint of negativity. And if this discourse is hurting you, you do not have to participate. The burden of defending the entire community should not fall on your shoulders, especially if you’re dealing with enough bullshit at home. Don’t feel obligated to speak to people who have dedicated their lives to misunderstanding you.

Curate your dash and fill it with good people and trans positivity. Unfollow anyone who’s putting upsetting shit on your dash, even if they’re on the same “side.” Much of your Tumblr experience is what you make it, and I think a lot of people on here would benefit from using it as place to find solidarity.

I’m honestly so exhausted. I want to keep fighting, because I know the trans community is worth fighting for, but being on tumblr doesn’t feel like the place for that anymore. I already have to face transandrophobia every single day from my mum, and coming onto tumblr just for people to tell me it isn’t real when I’m dealing with the very physical and mental affects of having my body controlled and harassed to ensure it remains “female” is making me want to scream. I know it’s real. I know it happens. I know how violent it is. How dare people try to tell me that what I’m dealing with is just me being in the wrong place at the wrong time, that the violent misogyny and transphobia is really just meant for other people, rather than a targeted attack against me being a trans man. I know that me being a trans man is the reason my mum treats me like this. She says she loves all women, trans and cis alike, but not men. Not me. She hates trans men. She calls them traitors, and confused, and weird. Right in front of my face. I know it’s targeted.

I feel like deleting my tumblr, but I’m all on my own and I don’t have a community to reach out to. Besides, I don’t wanna just be another statistic. Another trans person ran off the site that no one cares about, because it was the community that did it this time. I don’t get why people hate us. We’re all dealing with the same shit, but I just wanna talk about the stuff that’s specific to ME and MY life.

Idk man, I’m sorry for venting in your inbox. I’m just feeling hopeless right now. The trans community already has so few people in our corner anyway, so being a trans man feels like it’s just me and other trans guys against the world, except when those trans guys also decide to turn on us and call us theyfab trenders for not passing correctly. I’m fucking tired. We deserve better than this.

its us trans guys and our allies against the world ✊😔

Hi! IDK if you know but the text selection colour on your blog theme is white-on-white, or at least an extremely light gray on white. IDK how familar you are with theme customisation, but if you look at the root of your theme, there should be a "::selection" block where you can change them to be more contrasting colours.

Thank you for pointing this out, I'll see if I can up the contrast!

"trans women HATE trans men. they're oppressing you bc of their socialization" <- this is a manipulation tactic by terfs to isolate you from the broader trans community to more easily groom you into detransitioning (and possibly to groom you sexually too tbh). call it out for what it is

talking about transmasc issues is crazy because if your post gets popular you'll have someone say "your issues are real but you shouldn't use a word for it" and the very next reply will be something along the lines of "I'm going to rape you and get you pregnant"

I know I've said this before but I really don't think constantly talking about trans women & fems who are assholes to other trans people is productive. it's fine to call out behavior that sucks but I don't think only focusing on that is going to do much besides further radicalize the people you're talking about

it also waters down our terms to internet discourse and makes it harder to talk about bigger, life-threatening issues. if someone is curious about what issues we face and when they try to look into it all they see is people complaining about trans women & fems it's kind of understandable to see all of us as reactionaries tbh

I get it's easier to talk about intra-community issues. a leaky pipe in your house is always going to suck. but it's kind of like only complaining about the leaky pipe and your plumber during a flood. it's fine to talk about the leaky pipe but we should focus on the bigger problem here