How Come Your Kid Can Be Whoever They Want When They Grow Up, But When I Try It It’s “identity Theft”

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN HOW IS ANYONE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS BEAUTIFUL DRAGON BABY?!??!?

My brain, having a meltdown like a toddler: everything is bad and awful and I absolutely refuse to function in these working conditions *dumps a shitload of adrenaline into the nervous system*

Me, sighing heavily and holding up lorazepam: would ya do it for a Scooby snack?

My parents made fun of me my whole life for not liking black and white movies. As a kid I absolutely refused to watch them and my parents called me spoiled, uncultured, said my generation lacked the attention span to appreciate good cinema. And I hated it. They wouldn’t listen to me when I told them black and white movies made me feel uncomfortable. They forced me to watch various old classics to prove how great they were, even resorting to showing me ones in full color, and I hated almost all of them.

And that’s because I didn’t hate old Hollywood movies because they were in black and white, I hate old Hollywood classics because of how women were represented and treated: like objects whose entire personality, hopes, and dreams get completely and utterly changed by the main male protagonist and this is portrayed as good and right. Even as a kid I could see this portrayal of a willful, confident, inspired woman be transformed into a “good women” by a domineering man until she perfectly fits in this housewife stereotype and it made me feel sick to my stomach. Women lacked any personhood at all in almost every one of my parents beloved “old classics.”

I guess all this is to say parents often say things like, “we didn’t raise you to be this way” or “why would you think we believe [some specific thing]” but like, it’s not just the things you directly tell your children that shapes who they become, it’s everything you expose them to and the message behind those things. Children are really quite remarkable at picking up context, so it’s important you’re aware of not just the direct message you’re sending, but the subtext and context of everything around it.

It’s posts like this that make me wish tumblr had a “well, shit” button to press because I “like” funny posts, relatable posts, inspirational posts. But this. I do not “like” this. I feel the need to express the personal discontent this post caused and my only option is “like”

I’ve never quite been threatened like “You are young. Life has been kind to you. You will learn.”

You know what? Screw future cultural relevance. I want more songs that are immediately dated by name dropping technology. Give me early 2000s songs talking about calling people on your Motorola RAZR flip phone, allude to how much people are going to love your song by saying the CD will be so worn it’ll start skipping, tell me to turn the volume up on my Walkman, give me cultural flashbacks damn it!

SEA what i did there?

Hey, trama + time = comedy

So this’ll probably be hilarious in like, 10 years

Favourite songs too short? Turn your favourite song into a 2-hour album with just one simple trick! Passengers in the car are gonna love it!

You have no idea how hard my dumb ass would slam into this sign

The younger generations aren’t here to mess around