A Little Girl Who Grows Up Thinking All Doors Are Automatic But Actually She’s Haunted By A Really

Musical chairs? I thought you said Magical chairs

Well, there’s no un-summoning the demon now so we might as well play

I laughed so loud someone asked if I was okay

Life is a stage play and everyone has a script but me

Just a quick reminder PSA for cis people: it’s not okay to ask trans people super invasive questions, and it is especially not okay to ask those super invasive questions in public.

To be clear, I am not telling you it’s wrong or bad to be curious and to want more information about some of the more intimate details related to transitioning.

What I am telling you is that you need to remember this is not an abstract concept to the trans person you are questioning. When you walk up and ask me what kind of surgeries I want, you are not asking about the abstract concept of gender affirmation surgeries. What you are asking is incredibly invasive questions about my genitals, and that is wildly uncomfortable and also unbelievably rude.

We live in the wonderful age of technology where you have access to an unimaginable amount of information at your fingertips! If you want to know something, google it! I guarantee there are resources online that will answer whatever questions you have.

And, I cannot say this loud enough, it is also never okay to ask any of these kinds of questions in public!!! Even if your trans friend has said they are open to answering your more invasive questions, when you are in public, talking about these topics can be dangerous and even deadly for the trans person.

Your curiosity is not worth more than our safety.

How come your kid can be whoever they want when they grow up, but when I try it it’s “identity theft” and “illegal”

This reminds me of the time my old roommate asked me to cut an apple for the dish he was making and the absolute, utter disappointment in his eyes when he looked over and saw me cutting it with a fillet knife.

He did most of the cooking after that because apparently I “couldn’t be trusted with basic tasks” or whatever.

Prosecution: Your honor, the defendant has been scamming people into buying fake “immortality elixirs” for years!

Defense: Objection! Your honor, the defense requests the prosecution specify exactly how many years?

Prosecution: Gladly, your honor. As you can see from the arrest records submitted into evidence, the defendant has had the audacity to continue committing this felony for 148 years!

Judge: I’m sorry, did I hear that correctly? The defendant has been selling immortality elixirs for 148 years?!

Prosecution: Yes, your honor, the earliest documented arrest was in 1886.

Judge: It’s 2014.

Prosecution: Yes, your honor.

Judge: And you don’t see anything weird about that? Anything at all?

Defense: In light of this stupidity, the defense demands the immediate release of my client followed by a drop of all charges and would like to file a lawsuit against the arresting officer for slander.

Judge: Yes. Right. Bailiff, please release the defendant. Oh, and bring me any of the elixirs taken into evidence.

It’s posts like this that make me wish tumblr had a “well, shit” button to press because I “like” funny posts, relatable posts, inspirational posts. But this. I do not “like” this. I feel the need to express the personal discontent this post caused and my only option is “like”

I’ve never quite been threatened like “You are young. Life has been kind to you. You will learn.”

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In english,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.” - A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”