Paradoxf0x - Here Lies My Brain Vomit

Salem the cat from Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Salem was sentenced by the Witch's Council to spend 100 years as a cat, as punishment for trying to take over the world.

And he’ll be dammed if he ain’t gonna be a sarcastic attention whore the entire time

I like the idea of witches familiars being monstrous beasts that witches have trapped in the bodies of small animals. They can no longer wreck havoc on villages for fun or whatever monsters do, so they just sit there being a convenient source of magical power and acting grumpy about it

It’s posts like this that make me wish tumblr had a “well, shit” button to press because I “like” funny posts, relatable posts, inspirational posts. But this. I do not “like” this. I feel the need to express the personal discontent this post caused and my only option is “like”

I’ve never quite been threatened like “You are young. Life has been kind to you. You will learn.”

I have come up with a better metaphor than “you can’t pour from an empty cup” for burnout. You can’t boil an empty kettle. Pouring from an empty cup just gets you nowhere. Trying to boil an empty kettle can ruin the kettle, the stove, and burn down your house if you keep trying it.

Time to go dig up another grave! You know, for science...

I was only at the Devil’s sacrament for the gossip I swear!

How long has your physical form been residing on earth?

i’m just a tourist

Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

My parents made fun of me my whole life for not liking black and white movies. As a kid I absolutely refused to watch them and my parents called me spoiled, uncultured, said my generation lacked the attention span to appreciate good cinema. And I hated it. They wouldn’t listen to me when I told them black and white movies made me feel uncomfortable. They forced me to watch various old classics to prove how great they were, even resorting to showing me ones in full color, and I hated almost all of them.

And that’s because I didn’t hate old Hollywood movies because they were in black and white, I hate old Hollywood classics because of how women were represented and treated: like objects whose entire personality, hopes, and dreams get completely and utterly changed by the main male protagonist and this is portrayed as good and right. Even as a kid I could see this portrayal of a willful, confident, inspired woman be transformed into a “good women” by a domineering man until she perfectly fits in this housewife stereotype and it made me feel sick to my stomach. Women lacked any personhood at all in almost every one of my parents beloved “old classics.”

I guess all this is to say parents often say things like, “we didn’t raise you to be this way” or “why would you think we believe [some specific thing]” but like, it’s not just the things you directly tell your children that shapes who they become, it’s everything you expose them to and the message behind those things. Children are really quite remarkable at picking up context, so it’s important you’re aware of not just the direct message you’re sending, but the subtext and context of everything around it.

With the way 2020 has been going, this sounds more like a prophecy at this point, and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised

There were oddly shaped giant squids who could hijack the human neural system. That’s why going around at night outside the gates of my campus alone was deadly. I had to leave, though, because it was better than the ghosts and whatever else I had accidentally set free from under the school floorboards previously.