Jimin Riding The Struggle Bus All Over Connecticut Feat. Jungkook Sometimes Helping And Sometimes Not

Unloved

As I sit in my room with

books scattered in front of me

My blankets bundled up because I don't bother to fold them

i wonder

What is so inherently unlovable about me

I'm just 17

nobody stays forever ,I know that

but with the fast moving lives everyone from my generation around me is living

I fail

I fail to make my parents proud

I fail to make my friends be there for me whenever I actually need them

heck , I fail to even get a boyfriend

I don't have one

never had one

every boy I have ever talked to has at one point just given up

they do call me beautiful

they do say they like me

but like everything and everyone around me they don't want anything "more" from me

with nothing in my hands

I often believe not even my parents love me

but maybe that's an exaggeration yk

they do stay unlike everyone else who just walks away

But

They don't help either

They do love me I know

They do support me I know

But it's just a rarity for us to just sit and talk

without fights

without my self esteem down the drain

I can't remember the last time I sat with my dad and discussed the latest Bollywood movies

I can't remember the last time I gossiped with my mom about our relatives

it's so funny that even for a family of three lovi under the same roof

we have managed to distance ourselves

so

If even the people i live with don't stay with me

who will?

and As I lay on my bed with

books scattered in front of me

My blankets covering up my face because I fear someone will see the tears swelled up

i wonder

What is so inherently unlovable about me

and i drift off to sleep

hoping to find the answers in my dream

(X)

Letters from Juliet (II)

All the faith I put upon our names

"Jack and Juliet"

I hear it all the time

I hear angels sing

I see Eden's rosemary bloom

They just fit perfectly with eachother.

But did we?

watching it shatter

As if I didn't know it would.

Everybody looks at me in awe

and my heart aches for your glances

It's saddening.

It's maddening

Too less , after all the nights we spent wrapped around each other's fingers

Our hearts beating together

Our souls touching eachother

"Noone understands me better" You said.

I smiled and told you "I like butterflies"

I like you too.

i fixed your place.

between my coffee and sleep

Between dusk and dawn

Between mortal and immortal

between the gods and devils

Was I really meant to be just one of the chapters in your book?

Was Our story only meant to be till here?

Was this how it was supposed to end?

It's funny.

It's hilarious.

I wish for you.

30 years from now ,

just have a hand on heart and

open the lock on our memories once and look at it ,

with a smile

with a frown

with a tear?

If i was destined to be your distant memory then I hope I gave you good ones

Do call me if you remember my name.

Do come over if you have my address.

If I slip away to hell in my sleep someday

just like we talked about , chuckling

Do you promise to bring lilac prints and lilies to my grave?

Which will probably be lost amongst all your other juliets.

But I promise to tell Satan all about you.

only you.

- Agrima Nath

Hello, I am Mohammed Ayyad from Gaza. I would like to share our story with you. I was a high school student in 2023, and after that, I succeeded and entered university in my first year, studying Multimedia, a field I had dreamed of since childhood. But on October 7th, the war came and destroyed our lives, our homes, our dreams, and everything.

Now, it has been over a year, and we are living in this war and genocide. Every day, we die, every day we live in fear, and every day the children in my family are terrified due to the intensity of the bombing. My family consists of 13 members, and I am doing everything I can to provide them with food, bread, and medicine.

I ask all of you to stand with us in Gaza, whether through donations, prayers, or even sharing this message. Every action has great value in this difficult time. Thank you.

https://gofund.me/481656bc

🫂🫂

Letters from Juliet (III)

I saw you last night at the bar

broad shoulders

scar on right cheek

and signature black hoodie

Rum over beer?

that's too mature for the "you" i knew

I Wanted to ask you so many questions

How was your day?

Your month

Your year

Your girlfriend

just your voice ,

quite enough for me.

brings me back to last winter

sneaking into my room at midnight

Telling me about your day

Hearing about mine.

How the others were having parties

While we layed in bed talking about stellar.

do you still find the moon fascinating?

will you still go to outer space with me?

Are we really not kids anymore?

i am still here with you

Have been for a while.

have you?

this could be our ultimate day

you pained me

ruined me

that's not what I hate you for

i hate you precisely because ,

I love you

doesn't matter what limits you cross

a glimpse of you a day ,

all my worries away.

We're poets aren't we jack?

we romanticise pain and

feel pain in romance

we keep it close to us till mortality hits.

but today was different,

I woke up without your name on my lips

your smell wasn't there in the roses

the coffee didn't remind me of us

Well not us ,

You and I.

the dogs barked today and i didn't flinch

the lightning struck today but my heart remained still

i liked the downpour with a hand on my dog's head

i changed

you did it

and with that

"Me" was "mine"

and not "yours"

-Agrima Nath

Hey cloud , you remind me of someone today <3

Closure.

[looking back at a diary entry]

It's 31st May , 2024 , 6 am in the morning

I didn't sleep at all I stayed up doing random things, but all of it ended with me praying

well , for someone as pathetic as i

there could me many things to pray for ;

a better life , health , my parents to (finally) love me , good grades , any improvement of any sort infact

But at the end of a day and the start of another

I find myself praying for him

for how I wish I could hug him goodbye

how I wish I could meet him for one last time

how I wish I could look into his eyes one last time

how I wish I could hear him laugh one last time

How I wish I could see him smile one last time

and oh how I wish to just lay my eyes on him one last time

to just rest my eyes on him and memorize every little detail

the way his almond eyes are a little widespread

the way his nose scrunches as a reflex everytime he's in sun

the his smile is slightly titled towards left

the way his lips just stay in the same position when he laughs

the way his eyes catch the first hint of emotion that eventually creeps across his face

the way he raises his eyebrows subconsciously

the way he touches his nose everytime he is thinking

the way he shifts his head to one side whenever he stands

the way his teeth are bent forwards at a 10° angle

he is a beautiful boy

I probably don't even remember what he looks like exactly

I would just love to admire him one last time

I was not sure whether i should use past or present tense when I talk of his face

I am sure he changed

He probably looks prettier now

only to make me hate myself more

I often wonder if he is completely oblivious to my feelings

is he completely unaware of how much I want to hug him

not to feel anything but just a warm embrace

by him

by the first boy I fell in love with when I was just a kid

the first boy whose name I wrote at the back of my diary to find "flames" of lol

Embracing him would be like embracing my entire childhood

my ages through puberty

my acne phase

my bob-hair-tomboy-anjali phase

my boyband phase

my bangs phase

my theater phase

my artist phase

my jee phase

through it all he was there

not physically but somewhere in my heart

Just there

like an asshole really

somewhere he shouldn't be

but just with his legs on the table with shoes still on , a ciggerate in one hand and my diary in other

he owns it

he knows the command he has over me even if he isn't there

is that what romanticizing someone out of bounds feels like?

someone who isn't yours, was never yours ,will never be yours

but you know that the world is a game of gamble

and even a chance as small as a spec of sand is still a chance

and you hold onto that chance so dearly that everything you think about is consumed by that tiny possibility against the innumerable odds

yet you fight the world and it's rules just to think of yourself as his and his as yours

irrationally , erratically, irresistibly

I fantasize sometimes that maybe if i hugged him good bye

maybe then he would take his shoes off the table and leave

maybe that hug could do what almost 10 years of life couldn't

I fantasize sometimes that maybe if i had a huge fight with him and told him to get out

maybe then he would flip me off and leave

maybe that fight could do what almost 10 years of life couldn't

but that hug and that fight are the spec of sand

against the odds that I might never see him in this lifetime

and if I do I am sure that I would turn into that little girl again who understood what being vulnerable meant at an alarmingly young age

I wish I could just lie in his arms and cry

cry about how much I miss him

about how much I wish he was mine

about how much I hate him

about how difficult it has been to hate him

and about how I would go to the moon and back just to see him break into a titled smile

I was literally ready to fight anything and anyone to protect him

and I did

until i realised that he doesn't want my protection

until I realise how foolish it was to go to battles for someone who doesn't even want you to

; not because they care about you getting hurt

but because they wouldn't care at all even if you died

maybe he was blind and didn't see me

Or maybe he saw me and used my help and just left like that

I truly don't know which one is worse

I hate how much space he consumes of my thoughts

I hate how everything reminds me of him

his song pops up in my recommendations

everytime I open my eyes I see his favourite colour

when I open my phone and there are messages from him

when I open my phone and there are no messages from him

i hate how much I love him

when I don't cross his mind at all

02:40 AM

I have my physical education theory paper this morning (fml) never thought I would have to memorize yoga poses (fml again)

pulling an all nighter rn

3/6 chapters done , 3 more to go

I guess I'll stay up for an hour or two more take one hour nap and go for it (I'm not proud of myself ik)

mid-term week ; let's see if I finish mid-term or mid-term finishes me