Untitled 9.20.23 Excerpt - "...casually Smoking Cigarettes Out Of The Window Of My Childhood Home. I
Untitled 9.20.23 Excerpt - "...casually smoking cigarettes out of the window of my childhood home. I don't know if it's the way the tar fills my lungs, or how the sad folk music plays softly in the background, or maybe it's the cold September breeze and the way I can see the stars- but I trust that the Gods will take care of me. I have no other choice. For tonight, I have given up. They have gotten me this far, and all of the pain has to be for a reason- right? I quietly pray into the night, for a best friend/soulmate to come back to me (I couldn't bear watching that stupid band play), for good grades, for my friends, for my ever-aging cat. I pray that my fate fares well, and that this horrible feeling passes quick."
More Posts from R3v3rie and Others
tired and full of void
i'm sorry for the awful audio of the spoken word, i am not sorry for my emotion.
did i sit and stay,
like a good dog?
just how you asked?
my teeth bared,
so you’d mistake,
a grimace for a smile?
it’s been two already, i wish i could hate him. i wish i could cry or do anything other than thwart the urges to find him and beg for him back in my life. he was bad to me, for so long. why can’t i hate him?
i just want time to stop, i want some weed and for life to wait until i can catch up. but it cant, and it could take me years to figure it all out, and i have to be sober against my own will.
“‘She loves me like a dog’ but not in the soft, blindly loyal puppy way. She loves like a stray, mangy and flea ridden, hiding in the back of an alleyway or under the porch of the abandoned house next door.
She loves violently and ferally and wildly protective because she knows how it feels to be alone during the winter and she can’t go back to that, she can’t.
She loves with teeth and claws because those are the only body parts that have ever saved her, and she mistakes every hug for a chokehold.
She loves in a way that looks an awful lot like violence and feels an awful lot like desperation.”
-some random guy on my tiktok fyp at 3pm on a sunday
i’m splitting on you so hard my sebastian wilder it’s not even funny
Had a session about why closure is hard today, both because of him and because of me. Wrote another goodbye letter. I can't bring myself to post most of it but here was the ending. A proof of existence if you will.
✩ 21 ✩ bpd, bipolar, & cptsd diagnosed ✩ helpol ✩ “Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.”
272 posts