Narcissistic Trait Lists: A Dangerous Corner Of The Web.

Discrimination: Traumatic Background Does Not = Automatic Narcissism.

Not always.

It is a mistaken judgement to say that those who came from troubled parentage and backgrounds, where attachment to caregivers and parents might have been lacking, are those who become narcissists.

There are many people around the globe who come from troubled backgrounds yet are the most empathetic, caring, loving people that can be met, and I think that to tarnish everybody from a poor background is a marker of not only extremism, but unprofessional-ism in their field.

Take those growing up in poor circumstances, not every child from the same household will always be produced in the same way. They are each unique individuals who will learn in their own ways within the environment that they find themselves in, they are not one person, and not an extension of the caregivers or parents that they have been landed with.

Some do indeed come out as narcissists, even psychopaths, that is the way of the world, but there are also many vastly empathic, over caring, over responsible people that come from such backgrounds who have been highly tuned and trained to feed narcissistic needs. I am one of them (recovered).

The last thing that people who come from troubled backgrounds need to hear, is that they have been tarnished with the same brush as their abusers, that they are narcissists because of an abusive childhood. The very act of doing this is an abusive one itself, one that I understand is called discrimination.

Dreamwork, the Beauty and the Boundary Violation

Dreamwork is an interesting area of human life that easily gets caught up in a nightmare, so I wanted to write a short bit about that today and define what dreams (and nightmares) are, which can sometimes help stop the fall.

Dreams (and nightmares) are the brains way of resolving things that have not been processed in waking time. It is a bit like doing a format or defragging of a hard drive, sorting out the bits and pieces that either didn’t make a connection, or were just not sorted into the correct place so that they could be moved on from. In machines, that is processing. We are not machines, but as humans, it is pretty much the same processing story for us, with the exception that we are feeling beings, and that we get mystified by things sometimes.

Working out our dreams is something that we can all learn to do, and for those who can look objectively, whilst utilising empathy and an understanding of psychology, Dreamwork with others can be really eye opening for the receiver. The best part however, is that once you have started to work with someone else on Dreamwork, it becomes impossible to not then go forward in being able to realise the individual meaning of dreams for one’s self.

There is another side to the coin though. Dreamwork is a largely overlooked area for potential abuse that is worth remembering, in case it starts happening to ourselves or someone else that we love or care about deeply. Such an open, repeated vision into the boundaries of the personal psyche should only be shared with those that we undoubtedly know that we can trust.

Narcissistic Traits: When is it Fucked Up?

... when it is to do with somebodies eyebrows.

I came across a study that studied what people thought, and I’ll add, based on appearances over behaviour, when people perceive the eyebrows of another person. No, I am not joking and yes, this is one of those things that I could only dream was fake news. 

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324971942_Eyebrows_Cue_Grandiose_Narcissism

The study revealed that thick, well groomed eyebrows were a narcissistic trait by viewers standards, and going on the trends of increasingly large eyebrows in the last five years, I’d say that this was well dangerous to put out publicly and only highlights to me just how dangerous narcissistic trait lists online can be for a person.

With these trait lists we are leading ourselves into an era where people feel that they are entitled enough to call others narcissists, and a lot of the time quite publicly. The problem with that is, that unless the person doing it is a registered psychiatrist or related health professional with the full, educated understanding of the disorder, people who shout out narcissist are making a slur. A self entitled slur that only shows the speaker of such words for who they truly are.

Quietly, we can decide for ourselves that someone has traits that we would rather not have in our lives and move on swiftly, but where there is a need to openly and directly name someone a narcissist and holding no qualification to do so, we have to look at the motive behind that need, for that is where the real problem lies.

Something a former care taker would often say to me as a teenager being a teenager: it’s not big and it’s not clever. 

Don’t worry eyebrow groomers, I’m not blanketing you with this one. 

The ‘Goodness’ Mask of Controlling Behaviour.

I feel like were in a sort of new era of controlling behaviour, an era that acts in a deeply masked way making it difficult to see the original cause for what it really is.

Sure, activism is fantastic, but as someone who is looking for it, I cannot help but spot the bits in activism that seek to change things, claiming to be for the best, natural outcomes, when really there is a high stake of control involved where things ‘should’ be done in the way that they say, because the other way is entirely evil, substandard, or plain old wrong when it is just not necessary.

This type of behaviour is often seen in mental health diagnostics, where others are wrong and they are right, that everybody else is wrong and should be doing things in only the way that the ‘dictator’ for lack of a better word, see’s things as correctly being done.

I don’t think any of us needs much of a pointer on what that means for society as a whole.

Controlling behaviour can show up as something ‘good’ being put out, for the benefit of mankind and it’s fellow nature, but in this way it is simple pretentiousness for the masses toward some internal process of purpose, one that is masked and is originally called control.

There are many things that we cannot, and should not control and have control over, one of those in my eyes are some parts of nature.. all life forms included.

The shaping and landscaping of Earth is part of what we do as creators, and our mere existence plays a role in how the surrounding life changes, evolves, and shapes itself, but should we be having a hand in it all?

I don’t think so. Not all of it.

Deserts are dry and arid for a reason, altering them to contain lakes and water spaces seems an irrational placement that would change our ecosphere with unsavoury effects.

Activists wish to change the current cycles of land which are in their not so pretty phase into a forced cycle of forestation, and people are crashing their space junk into the moon just to make a bit of history in their name for future times, which may not be in any books.

We are messing with things beyond our scope, sometimes with good intention, not realising that most natural cycles really can and should be left alone. In many cases, some things just cannot be forced without terrible consequence.

Perhaps one day we will learn to leave some things be.

Be vigilant, and be your own boss on things :-)

Predatory Gazes: Black Footed Wildcat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6d9rqhivQY

If you can spot the Black Footed Wildcat’s amazing facial expression on landing her prey in this clip (around 1:32), then you’l be seeing a big similarity in the reptilian brained, predatory nature of some human beings in action. 

My sons father matches the expression entirely in a photograph that I have where he was on a drunken, drug fuelled Christmas Day hatred rampage. I have decided that I cannot post his picture here for privacy reasons, but if you have seen this face in someone already, then you will know when you see it in this sweet clip of the the Black Footed Wildcat hunting. 

The human version is not so cute.

Covid, Hormones, Fungus, and Food.

Covid-19 is something that I have experienced multiple times over the years, and along the way all I could really do is observe myself and make adjustments. I could not get any answers at the doctors or specialists that I saw, other than that everything was okay. It is welcome news that there is nothing to report, but not when you know that things are not completely okay.

Covid-19 tipped up my hormones. It was really disturbing because my emotions were everywhere and I felt so different in one moment from the next, all thanks to the tip in balance.

I then, unknowingly at the time, and unknowingly to the doctors that I had seen, began to have problems with fungus circulating around my body, which caused plenty of issues. I could not work out what I had done for this to happen, when really I had done nothing, Covid-19 had just come along, weakened my immune system and liberated the existing Candida in my gut.

I also began to have a problem with eating a specific food that I did not have a problem with before, and that was soy. Within a few hours of eating soy of any kind, even in very small, if not tiny amount, my hormone issues would become worse, so I began to eliminate it from my diet.

Unfortunately, soy appears to be something that mimics various oestrogen hormones, and as mentioned in one study that I had read, a high oestrogen environment is what fungus wants, and what it flourishes in.

In 2020 I started to notice just how many foods contain soy. It is included as a lecithin in many processed foods and probably the worst news (the worst news to me at least) was that it was in many of my favourite chocolates, it never used to be in them at least, but now it is almost everywhere.

On further research I found soy is even fed to cattle and other animals that are then sold as food to humans, so soy goes as far as possible in the food chain, until we get to the organic foods section, where soy cannot be included.

If soy is mostly everywhere as it is now, and the fruit and vegetable crops destined for peoples tummies are sprayed with fungicidal pesticides across the globe, then I can kind of start to comprehend why fungus is able to take such a hold all of a sudden.

Our guts do not get to filter out pesticides, they get shaped by them with our hormones negatively affected in the process. This is why I decided to take the soy free and organic diet as much as it is possible, to keep fungus in check and to look after my hormones, both of which have been shown to affect mental health directly when overgrown or out of balance.

Stay well :)

note; this is nothing but my own personal experience, in a lay persons perspective

Radicalisation, Hate, and the Great Die Out.

I didn’t write for a while, it is hard work using my brain to the extent that I do so time off is necessary, as any hyper vigilant person may already know... and for the record, I am playing with this “great die out” in the title. You should know that I classify those using phrases like “the great reset, the great bla bla, etc” as radicalised people.

I want to write about our ongoing, and in my view, dangerous journey that is deepening into the world of single mindedness.

By single mindedness, what I mean is the one track, intolerant, anti diversity that our brains appear to be being trained into, by what often traces back to source as social media.

It doesn't only track back to social media, it also tracks back to certain public speakers, those of which who rightly so, hold their own beliefs and value set in the world, but instead of keeping those various laundries at home on the drying rail amongst friends and family sharing a cup of tea and a biscuit, they are taken out in front of great audiences both in person and online, with the intention of letting people know that their view is the only one that matters.

The problem with that is where some people in the audience have a tendency towards hate, and in many ways would like to act out that hate as a form of completion in their lives to please a specific person, being, or god. They really just want to please themselves.

Beliefs of people are one thing, but when they are pushed upon others as the “right” way above others personal will, then what we are dealing with is a person who wants to radicalise others into their own ideas about how life is to be lived.

Most of the obvious people who do this in the public eye are acting under the guise of religion. They are permitted to be there because they tout the religion as the reasoning behind their thinking, but looking at them all it is easy to see they are simply incredibly old fashioned. They, powerless in a rapidly changed, and still changing world, are struggling to grasp with the realities that they now find themselves in and perhaps have deep, survival based needs to make the modern world that they now find themselves in even more evil than it ever has been.. even though we come from a time where the iron age was probably as gruesome as it gets, and open incest is catalogued in their written histories.

Despite all of our efforts to be beautiful in the world, inclusive and if we like, engaging in of all of our individual, creative worlds, hate will preside both in the overground and the underground, but at least in one projection I can see high potential for the old fashioned overground to simply die out as the arrow of time continues to direct us all ever onward, and onward’s :)

Public speakers who preach hate trickle down their one track ideas to the next generations, but the beauty is that each generation waters it down before the hate it becomes nothing, non existent.

May you all be beautifully blessed, and sending extra massive love to the trans community and all those creating with genders, non genders, roles, and identities right now.

Surviving Other People’s Shit: 10 Self Compassionate “I” Existence Affirmations to Get Out and Stay Out of Manipulative Control.

1 - I am free to personally like and dislike whoever it is that I choose, regardless of what other people think.

2 - I do not have to tolerate or accept repeated abusive behaviour in my life based on the abusers state of mind or personal well being.

3 - There are no rules when it comes to who I must, and who I must not allow in my personal space, except for my own.

4 - As an independent adult or young adult, I understand that what I do in my personal life, does not have to be based on what another person insists that I do, or else there will be consequences.

5 - I am allowed to say no.

6 - I am free to choose which invites to attend or not attend.

7 - I might have accepted a gift, but this does not bind me to the givers will.

8 - I can choose to have different beliefs and values than others, and still get along in the world.

9 - I am beautiful, no matter what they say (thank you xtina :))

10 - I am free to have whatever feelings that I have in any given moment, and pledge to manage these feelings in the safest, best possible way that supports the ultimate value of my existence.

Stay excellent :)

Evolutionary Learning: PTSD and CPTSD Symptoms.

Events that cause us fear, suffering, and threat to our lives leave a strong, everlasting mark. Either consciously or subconsciously, what is recorded plays back over and over again given the correct environment that makes the connection and presses the play button. We have recorded some information, but not all of it is of happy memories.

I was fascinated with the fact that I could record something on a cassette tape when I was little. I found it amazing, and those in my family did not share the same complete astoundment that I felt when I discovered that I was able to record sound, my voice and the voices in my surroundings on a cassette tape.

Now much older, I have decided that there is a recording nature in literally everything, from various crystals to the tiniest atoms, and the main point that I am getting to, our brains.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is the unwanted intrusion of some of the more challenging recordings that we have collected along the way. It isn’t the upsurge of happy memories, but rather the deeply ingrained bad memories and traumas that we might prefer to ignore or forget.

Sometimes in PTSD, emotions become uncontrollable, which is the distinguishing factor that makes it Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. CPTSD makes it even more difficult to navigate the world, let alone face and move on from the memories that keep intruding. 

Every episode pops up like a “surprise motherfucker” moment. Choice in shelving it for later on? forget it. PTSD and CPTSD is instant like that, and there is no going back until some sort of retreat and processing can be taken.

I sometimes like to think of PTSD and CPTSD as an overloaded cassette tape. This idea does not work out in rational reality since you cannot overload recordings on a cassette, it just stops each side, but the recording nature of the human brain is different. It certainly has much more capacity than a cassette tape, and in some ways, it may well be infinite, until physicality for the brain ceases to exist at least.

Studies show that predatory induced fear causes PTSD like changes in the brains and behaviour of wild animals. The article goes on to say that:

“Retaining a powerful enduring memory of a life-threatening predator encounter is thus clearly evolutionarily beneficial if it helps the individual avoid such events in the future3,4,8. Contemplating this, in light of the many PTSD-like changes manifest in laboratory rodents in response to predator-induced fear19, has prompted a growing number of biomedical researchers to propose3,5,6,7,9,10,11 that “PTSD is the cost of inheriting an evolutionarily primitive mechanism that considers survival more important than the quality of one’s life”12. In this view, PTSD-like changes in the brain and behaviour are not unnatural or “maladaptive”, but are rather evolutionary adaptations which entail costs, such as “hypervigilance”12,19,20 and the avoidance of trauma-related cues19, that provide the benefit of increasing the probability of survival, by increasing the likelihood of detecting a life-threatening danger (hypervigilance), and reducing the probability of encountering one (avoidance).”

Powerful memories that do not let us forget are the one’s that will help keep us safe in future times. Sometimes PTSD and CPTSD is making a faulty connection, because the situation that we are in can replay events so vividly where there really is no harm to come, but in the event of future run in’s with exceptionally predatory people, of which there are many + more growing with the generational learning created through the use of social media, PTSD and CPTSD serve as an evolutionary stage in learning that will absolutely help me in moving onward in my life at least.

The ability to record things is amazing, in whatever medium. I now have a new understanding of PTSD and CPTSD and how we learn by what we live. There is  cost, but I am more than happy to pay for what I need.

Be happy :-)

Narcissistic Trait Lists: A Dangerous Corner of the Web Breakdown Post

In my recent article about narcissistic trait lists, there was a demonstration of a tool that I find handy when trying to filter overly narcissistic people from those who are less damaging to my life, and the lives of others.

This tool is something that I call The Skeleton, which put simply, describes the basic framework in which the vast majority narcissistic of people operate, based on my own observations.

Parts of the skeleton have deeper meanings and interconnections that I said that I would write about, so here it is, my narcissistic Skeleton breakdown post.

Intense Staring

Unless they have been the victim of serious abuse and are not yet repaired, almost everybody has some sort of psychological Personal Boundary in place. This is even so for those who are particularly vulnerable, although that boundary is often not swiftly recognised as something that is being violated when it is. Intense staring is the eye on the target, looking for what those boundaries may be and in creepier but true terms, is the activity of the obsessive, early Reptilian Brain nature of the person in question out on display. 

The Triune Brain model explains things a little more, and is handy to know about for a basic understanding of diverse human behaviour, not just in history but also where we are now.

Inferiority and Superiority Imbalance

Superiority is Inferiority in disguise. If someone is cutting about as the be all and end all of a situation and it is not just tied to a genuine job role or achievement, then you have a guaranteed picture of the persons inner reality which is an exceptionally low self esteem. Super painful feelings of absolute inferiority spring from continual low self esteem states, which is the breeding ground for superiority, the fake, deluded self that is created in order to get by.

Lies and Dishonesty

Lies and Dishonesty section can be attributed to delusion. Pathological Liar can be mentioned here, a term also known as Mythomania. The firm belief in one’s own lies point to a kind of self hypnosis, otherwise known as delusion, and when reality does not match up with held delusions, Stupified Eye Response and Facial Expression are the common, transient, yet often repetitive result. 

Unreciprocated Use of People

Narcissists only give when it suits them, and in many cases the giving will be unbalanced and played on as a more sentimental act rather than any healthy, truly valuable or balanced way of giving. You can bet your whole ass that any sort of giving done by the narcissistic person will absolutely be conditional or on a give to receive basis, and the condition will become apparent if remaining in quiet awareness about this.

There is a saying out there which I have found to be both the tool of people who mean well and think that they are saying the “right” thing, and a tool of the narcissist, which is: “If you are looking for it you will find it”. Well guess what fuckers, I am looking for it, and if I find it, you can skedaddle.

Stupified Eye Response and Facial Expression

The main highlight of this feature is easily explained by psychology, and if you click through the link you will find out what Cognitive Dissonance is. Skip back to the original issue under Lies and Dishonesty and you may be able to connect the dots and figure this one out for yourself. What cognitive dissonance does is expose one’s utter delusion of themselves, to themselves, creating the look of stupification that some of us know all too well.

Well that’s it, that is the final breakdown of my personal Skeleton tool, a diagnostic tool that I created for myself that others may find helpful too. If you have any questions about it feel free to ask.

I have been dealing with, observing, listening to, and navigating narcissistic and psychopathic persons for almost my entire life. This is part of the result, and I give thanks every one of them for their valuable input.

Stay brilliant :)

© Monday 14th Feb 2022