Narcissistic Traits: When Is It Fucked Up?

Evolutionary Learning: PTSD and CPTSD Symptoms.

Events that cause us fear, suffering, and threat to our lives leave a strong, everlasting mark. Either consciously or subconsciously, what is recorded plays back over and over again given the correct environment that makes the connection and presses the play button. We have recorded some information, but not all of it is of happy memories.

I was fascinated with the fact that I could record something on a cassette tape when I was little. I found it amazing, and those in my family did not share the same complete astoundment that I felt when I discovered that I was able to record sound, my voice and the voices in my surroundings on a cassette tape.

Now much older, I have decided that there is a recording nature in literally everything, from various crystals to the tiniest atoms, and the main point that I am getting to, our brains.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is the unwanted intrusion of some of the more challenging recordings that we have collected along the way. It isn’t the upsurge of happy memories, but rather the deeply ingrained bad memories and traumas that we might prefer to ignore or forget.

Sometimes in PTSD, emotions become uncontrollable, which is the distinguishing factor that makes it Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. CPTSD makes it even more difficult to navigate the world, let alone face and move on from the memories that keep intruding. 

Every episode pops up like a “surprise motherfucker” moment. Choice in shelving it for later on? forget it. PTSD and CPTSD is instant like that, and there is no going back until some sort of retreat and processing can be taken.

I sometimes like to think of PTSD and CPTSD as an overloaded cassette tape. This idea does not work out in rational reality since you cannot overload recordings on a cassette, it just stops each side, but the recording nature of the human brain is different. It certainly has much more capacity than a cassette tape, and in some ways, it may well be infinite, until physicality for the brain ceases to exist at least.

Studies show that predatory induced fear causes PTSD like changes in the brains and behaviour of wild animals. The article goes on to say that:

“Retaining a powerful enduring memory of a life-threatening predator encounter is thus clearly evolutionarily beneficial if it helps the individual avoid such events in the future3,4,8. Contemplating this, in light of the many PTSD-like changes manifest in laboratory rodents in response to predator-induced fear19, has prompted a growing number of biomedical researchers to propose3,5,6,7,9,10,11 that “PTSD is the cost of inheriting an evolutionarily primitive mechanism that considers survival more important than the quality of one’s life”12. In this view, PTSD-like changes in the brain and behaviour are not unnatural or “maladaptive”, but are rather evolutionary adaptations which entail costs, such as “hypervigilance”12,19,20 and the avoidance of trauma-related cues19, that provide the benefit of increasing the probability of survival, by increasing the likelihood of detecting a life-threatening danger (hypervigilance), and reducing the probability of encountering one (avoidance).”

Powerful memories that do not let us forget are the one’s that will help keep us safe in future times. Sometimes PTSD and CPTSD is making a faulty connection, because the situation that we are in can replay events so vividly where there really is no harm to come, but in the event of future run in’s with exceptionally predatory people, of which there are many + more growing with the generational learning created through the use of social media, PTSD and CPTSD serve as an evolutionary stage in learning that will absolutely help me in moving onward in my life at least.

The ability to record things is amazing, in whatever medium. I now have a new understanding of PTSD and CPTSD and how we learn by what we live. There is  cost, but I am more than happy to pay for what I need.

Be happy :-)

Narcissistic Trait Lists: A Dangerous Corner of the Web Breakdown Post

In my recent article about narcissistic trait lists, there was a demonstration of a tool that I find handy when trying to filter overly narcissistic people from those who are less damaging to my life, and the lives of others.

This tool is something that I call The Skeleton, which put simply, describes the basic framework in which the vast majority narcissistic of people operate, based on my own observations.

Parts of the skeleton have deeper meanings and interconnections that I said that I would write about, so here it is, my narcissistic Skeleton breakdown post.

Intense Staring

Unless they have been the victim of serious abuse and are not yet repaired, almost everybody has some sort of psychological Personal Boundary in place. This is even so for those who are particularly vulnerable, although that boundary is often not swiftly recognised as something that is being violated when it is. Intense staring is the eye on the target, looking for what those boundaries may be and in creepier but true terms, is the activity of the obsessive, early Reptilian Brain nature of the person in question out on display. 

The Triune Brain model explains things a little more, and is handy to know about for a basic understanding of diverse human behaviour, not just in history but also where we are now.

Inferiority and Superiority Imbalance

Superiority is Inferiority in disguise. If someone is cutting about as the be all and end all of a situation and it is not just tied to a genuine job role or achievement, then you have a guaranteed picture of the persons inner reality which is an exceptionally low self esteem. Super painful feelings of absolute inferiority spring from continual low self esteem states, which is the breeding ground for superiority, the fake, deluded self that is created in order to get by.

Lies and Dishonesty

Lies and Dishonesty section can be attributed to delusion. Pathological Liar can be mentioned here, a term also known as Mythomania. The firm belief in one’s own lies point to a kind of self hypnosis, otherwise known as delusion, and when reality does not match up with held delusions, Stupified Eye Response and Facial Expression are the common, transient, yet often repetitive result. 

Unreciprocated Use of People

Narcissists only give when it suits them, and in many cases the giving will be unbalanced and played on as a more sentimental act rather than any healthy, truly valuable or balanced way of giving. You can bet your whole ass that any sort of giving done by the narcissistic person will absolutely be conditional or on a give to receive basis, and the condition will become apparent if remaining in quiet awareness about this.

There is a saying out there which I have found to be both the tool of people who mean well and think that they are saying the “right” thing, and a tool of the narcissist, which is: “If you are looking for it you will find it”. Well guess what fuckers, I am looking for it, and if I find it, you can skedaddle.

Stupified Eye Response and Facial Expression

The main highlight of this feature is easily explained by psychology, and if you click through the link you will find out what Cognitive Dissonance is. Skip back to the original issue under Lies and Dishonesty and you may be able to connect the dots and figure this one out for yourself. What cognitive dissonance does is expose one’s utter delusion of themselves, to themselves, creating the look of stupification that some of us know all too well.

Well that’s it, that is the final breakdown of my personal Skeleton tool, a diagnostic tool that I created for myself that others may find helpful too. If you have any questions about it feel free to ask.

I have been dealing with, observing, listening to, and navigating narcissistic and psychopathic persons for almost my entire life. This is part of the result, and I give thanks every one of them for their valuable input.

Stay brilliant :)

© Monday 14th Feb 2022

Discrimination: Traumatic Background Does Not = Automatic Narcissism.

Not always.

It is a mistaken judgement to say that those who came from troubled parentage and backgrounds, where attachment to caregivers and parents might have been lacking, are those who become narcissists.

There are many people around the globe who come from troubled backgrounds yet are the most empathetic, caring, loving people that can be met, and I think that to tarnish everybody from a poor background is a marker of not only extremism, but unprofessional-ism in their field.

Take those growing up in poor circumstances, not every child from the same household will always be produced in the same way. They are each unique individuals who will learn in their own ways within the environment that they find themselves in, they are not one person, and not an extension of the caregivers or parents that they have been landed with.

Some do indeed come out as narcissists, even psychopaths, that is the way of the world, but there are also many vastly empathic, over caring, over responsible people that come from such backgrounds who have been highly tuned and trained to feed narcissistic needs. I am one of them (recovered).

The last thing that people who come from troubled backgrounds need to hear, is that they have been tarnished with the same brush as their abusers, that they are narcissists because of an abusive childhood. The very act of doing this is an abusive one itself, one that I understand is called discrimination.

Covid Findings, a Lay Person’s Account.

Hello,

I have popped back to share my own personal experience, and to help heal myself after watching a snippet of a recent BBC Question Time television programme, which I felt only served to try to shame people who were making their own free choices as a human being.

Just a small snippet, where there first guest did not appear to be able to articulate well what he was saying, and had made an unfortunate mistake in a fact (perhaps a victim of actual disinformation), and a second guest who got all of her valid points across, only to be shamed for it on national television in front of a panel of professionals? I thought that the days of barbarianism were over in the UK at least, yet here they are still today only in a different format on television.

I felt like I had just watched a small snippet of abuse, unfortunately this is spread over an entire length of a program involving many more guests than the ones that I have mentioned. It was painful to watch, and I felt that it was aiming to get the monetary audiences in, not just those present to discuss.

I have never spoken about my own experiences with Covid-19, I wanted to ensure that I was not influencing anyone else’s freedoms, but since the BBC are okay to try and shape peoples opinions that I at least should be permitted to write what I am about to write.

At this point, which is Friday 4th of February, 2022, and after hearing many different peoples experiences as well as re-experiencing the same, slight differing problem over the years myself, I can feel safe in the knowledge that I first came across Covid-19 in whatever form that it was in, in November / December 2015.

I then picked up the same thing in February 2016, and lasted a bit longer until I got it again in February 2020, March 2020, October 2020, June 2021, and January 2022 - the recent episodes in January lasted me two days at most, and was not as rough terrain like previous experiences.

Throughout that time I had no help or understanding as to what was going on, until 2021 when I began to wonder if what I had been troubled with all this time was in fact Covid-19, so I started listening to others experiences and keeping up with what was happening for people globally in the news.

There were a few things that stood out to me along that journey;

* the affect that Covid-19 was having on peoples gut

* the re-circulation of old or dormant virus and associated symptoms 

* the ability of Covid-19 to cross the brain barrier

Having plenty of time on my hands during lock down, I certainly kept my eye on the world news for updates and noticed more and more that symptoms of things like long Covid fatigue, matched with those of the known Epstein Barr virus, which is common and can lay harmlessly dormant in the guts of anyone.

I also noticed that fungus was a big player in Covid-19 mortality, as fungus is one of the causes of pneumonia. Various fungus can also be the cause of many rash like symptoms that people experience.

In looking at my own experience at least, fungus and bacteria are not just big players in Covid-19 symptoms, but the main ones, leading me to personally (as a lay person) come to understand that Covid-19 is likely a liberator of whatever lays dormant, and perhaps not so dormant, in the guts of the host that it comes to exploit. This includes the transportation and crossing of some of those things over the brain barrier, which explains why so many accounts of Covid-19 experiences include those of neurological symptoms.

Like any public transport service, Covid-19 is nothing without it’s passengers. Taking care of our general health and reducing susceptibility to the overgrowth, overexposure, and resistance to overcoming various fungus and bacteria that are naturally occurring in ourselves and in the environment, may well help in promoting the permanent closure of Covid-19′s business.

The experiences of people matter, as does the free choice for people to have a vaccine, or to not have a vaccine.

Stay well :)

Surviving Other People’s Shit: 10 Self Compassionate “I” Existence Affirmations to Get Out and Stay Out of Manipulative Control.

1 - I am free to personally like and dislike whoever it is that I choose, regardless of what other people think.

2 - I do not have to tolerate or accept repeated abusive behaviour in my life based on the abusers state of mind or personal well being.

3 - There are no rules when it comes to who I must, and who I must not allow in my personal space, except for my own.

4 - As an independent adult or young adult, I understand that what I do in my personal life, does not have to be based on what another person insists that I do, or else there will be consequences.

5 - I am allowed to say no.

6 - I am free to choose which invites to attend or not attend.

7 - I might have accepted a gift, but this does not bind me to the givers will.

8 - I can choose to have different beliefs and values than others, and still get along in the world.

9 - I am beautiful, no matter what they say (thank you xtina :))

10 - I am free to have whatever feelings that I have in any given moment, and pledge to manage these feelings in the safest, best possible way that supports the ultimate value of my existence.

Stay excellent :)

Predatory Gazes: Black Footed Wildcat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6d9rqhivQY

If you can spot the Black Footed Wildcat’s amazing facial expression on landing her prey in this clip (around 1:32), then you’l be seeing a big similarity in the reptilian brained, predatory nature of some human beings in action. 

My sons father matches the expression entirely in a photograph that I have where he was on a drunken, drug fuelled Christmas Day hatred rampage. I have decided that I cannot post his picture here for privacy reasons, but if you have seen this face in someone already, then you will know when you see it in this sweet clip of the the Black Footed Wildcat hunting. 

The human version is not so cute.

Controlling Behaviour: The Internet, Personal Boundaries and Self Development.

Spotting controlling behaviour in people has never been as transparent to the general public as it is at the moment. 

At the risk of sounding like one of those dodgy one tip to lose tummy fat web ad’s, the one big sign that gives people away is this: if a person has any thing to say about another person having had a Covid-19 vaccine or not.

Anyone (other than authorities such as the government, scientists, etc) that has an opinion about another persons vaccination status is openly displaying some fairly controlling behaviour.

Another persons vaccine status and decision on their body is really nobody else’s business but the individuals, and when I see people coming out with terms like “un-vaccinated people are selfish”, “un-vaccinated people should lose their right to healthcare”, I realise that I feel so uncomfortable about it due to how dreadful pushing an opinion on others really is. It is akin to extremism, but has another air to it that I cannot quite pin down yet. 

Questioning helped get me through.

Did we have this sort of attitude with other vaccinations?

In the unfortunate divide that has been created, what is different?

I’ll tell ya what I think at least. The difference is, social media / internet use.

People do not seem to understand how the information that we take in, scrolling through feeds and streams of it, shapes our own realities drastically more than the every day user would like to think. Yes we can curate things but we only have to take a quick glance at how politics and even BTS seeped into the lives of those who otherwise would not be interested.

Many people also do not have knowledge of things like Social Contagion, Collective Behaviour and the quietly insidious effects that these can wield on our own free agency.

Boundary busting, isn't it?

Plenty of us either mindful of, just learning, or adept at keeping personal boundaries intact can remain oblivious to those boundaries that we allow to be crossed online. Just by logging into an open text messaging service to the entire globe, such as Twitter, we gladly expose ourselves to the world of almost everything, trolling, hate crime, and other shitty stuff included. Many of us are already angry about being burned by companies like Facebook, a place where almost the entire content of lives and families were uploaded without question.

They were trusted. None of us knew.

Luckily, boundaries can be reinstated, but that almost always takes a bit of a shock to the system in realising that very quietly, without our realising, our boundaries were being crossed, and we may have been taking that into our everyday lives, with some being taught that boundary evasion is okay on both sides of the coin, being the crosser or the crossed.

The question we all have to ask ourselves is exactly that, is it ever okay to cross boundaries either way, both offline and online?. Asking ourselves this question can help us see where we are in terms of personal growth and whether we really are working towards a better society all round for humanity.

Keep being amazing :-)

Narcissistic Trait lists: A Dangerous Corner of the Web.

The popularity of narcissistic traits on the web looks like it is at it’s peak right now, comments all over sites like Quora and Reddit, forums, websites and even Twitter “specialists” are everywhere, but not all of the information given is accurate. Although some information is completely valid for an experiencer of narcissistic abuse who is writing of exactly that, their own experience, some people are just there to suck up a loyal following who will pay them for advice, follow them on social media, and provide them with the public likes, re-tweets, and adulation that they need. Notice anything here?

Narcissistic behaviour is not something that can be diagnosed by the general public, in fact, it should never be so, but spotting a narcissist is a great way to keep ourselves safe from their careless behaviour, so what is the work around? How can we, as individuals, not get caught up in the programmed behaviour that is being set out by people posting information that may not apply to all, whilst also keeping ourselves safe from unnecessary crap?

There are a few basic things about narcissistic behaviour that can be pointed out as fact for many of them, although these will be interchangeable, and and entire context should be applied for the individual in question. Additionally, nobody can escape the fact that many narcissists do scour information on the web to train themselves into known passive, submissive, readily acceptable, or caring body language and behaviours, but be assured that this is not to self improve their own narcissism and become more compassionate towards others, it is just another way for the narcissistic person to net people in and “take them for fools” - that’s their words not mine by the way heh.

If you, the reader, have had trouble with many narcissists before, you will be a little more equipped because it is likely that you may have noticed some narcissistic patterns or other repeating across the board already. I have noticed some in my own experiences, which is why I can post you the following short few things which I call a The Skeleton. I call it The Skeleton because this is the framework that the narcissist is operating on in basic terms across the board, and it is where many of their further behaviours spring from. Noticing a skeleton has helped me get to the real reasons for a persons woes on many occasion, so here goes.. but remember, not everybody who does one of these things is narcissistic, there is always a wider context and individuality that must be taken into account.

Intense Staring

Narcissists do this, but in a way that is bare faced odd. It will be uncomfortable for you, and strange. This is because you are two things; prey, and someone that they are trying to work out so that they can get in.

Inferiority and Superiority Imbalance

Either one will be out on display, although usually it is superiority. Superiority is an attempt to cover the painfully inferior feeling person beneath, although if you are seasoned you may see the inferiority first.

Lies and Dishonesty

Lies will be obvious, repeated, and quite courageous.. too courageous in fact, as if they even believe in what they are saying themselves. Dishonesty and lies will occur in just about anything, although it usually always serves a narcissists self protection, greater plot, or protecting such a plot from being exposed.

Unreciprocated Use of People

Narcissists must find a beneficial use for each person, or else they are useless and to be discarded. This is wildly different from a healthy relationship where people get their needs met because narcissists are in for what they can get alone and get nothing from reciprocating, unless it is still early days and they are trying to win you over.

Stupified Eye Response and Facial Expression

If you catch it, there will be times where the narcissist (and also a psychopath whilst we’re here) will have a look on their face that looks like they have just had a few swift blows to the head with a baseball bat. It usually occurs when they are incensed about something, which more is often that their current plot is not working out or has not worked out entirely.

So that’s The Skeleton from my perspective, although remember, there is always a wider context and individuality that must be taken into account when noticing these signs.

Many people read similar trait lists and find something in everyone, like a one size fits all, and to me that is quite a dangerous corner that we have been programming ourselves to sit in. The truth is that narcissism is a scale, anyone can become one given the correct surroundings and experiences, and that there is such a thing as healthy narcissism which we all must have a little of in the world.

I will be posting again about The Skeleton, breaking down some interesting points about it so if you're interested, keep a look out for that.

Stay awesome :)

© Thursday 10th Feb 2022

The ‘Goodness’ Mask of Controlling Behaviour.

I feel like were in a sort of new era of controlling behaviour, an era that acts in a deeply masked way making it difficult to see the original cause for what it really is.

Sure, activism is fantastic, but as someone who is looking for it, I cannot help but spot the bits in activism that seek to change things, claiming to be for the best, natural outcomes, when really there is a high stake of control involved where things ‘should’ be done in the way that they say, because the other way is entirely evil, substandard, or plain old wrong when it is just not necessary.

This type of behaviour is often seen in mental health diagnostics, where others are wrong and they are right, that everybody else is wrong and should be doing things in only the way that the ‘dictator’ for lack of a better word, see’s things as correctly being done.

I don’t think any of us needs much of a pointer on what that means for society as a whole.

Controlling behaviour can show up as something ‘good’ being put out, for the benefit of mankind and it’s fellow nature, but in this way it is simple pretentiousness for the masses toward some internal process of purpose, one that is masked and is originally called control.

There are many things that we cannot, and should not control and have control over, one of those in my eyes are some parts of nature.. all life forms included.

The shaping and landscaping of Earth is part of what we do as creators, and our mere existence plays a role in how the surrounding life changes, evolves, and shapes itself, but should we be having a hand in it all?

I don’t think so. Not all of it.

Deserts are dry and arid for a reason, altering them to contain lakes and water spaces seems an irrational placement that would change our ecosphere with unsavoury effects.

Activists wish to change the current cycles of land which are in their not so pretty phase into a forced cycle of forestation, and people are crashing their space junk into the moon just to make a bit of history in their name for future times, which may not be in any books.

We are messing with things beyond our scope, sometimes with good intention, not realising that most natural cycles really can and should be left alone. In many cases, some things just cannot be forced without terrible consequence.

Perhaps one day we will learn to leave some things be.

Be vigilant, and be your own boss on things :-)

The Scales of Empathy and Narcissism.

Having a strong sense of self is really important. Not having it means getting easily swept away in other peoples intentions, and not realising until later on.

What well meaning “trust your gut” and “engage your empathy” people do not understand is that when empathy is overly high, a sense of self is lacking, and there is no “trust your gut”, there is only the other person, making it impossible to feel or see what is going on in real time.

It is for this reason that I created this simple scale, which I call The Scales of Empathy and Narcissism. I like the idea of balance, but would like to point out that this tool would be used in a non obsessive way as something to refer to in the need of self reflection or understanding a situation. Put simply, it is a self development tool.

Each side are the total extremes of what they are, with a nice, easy going balance found somewhere in the middle. 

                Empathy      <---- balanced -----> Narcissism

                Over Caring <---- balanced ----> Under Caring

                Oneness      <---- balanced ----> Individuality

                Humility       <---- balanced ----> Arrogance

Using this basic scale on an inward basis means that I can see where I myself might be tilting towards less than optimal living, and when observing somebody else, or someone that I am just not quite sure about, the scale serves to remind me of the real world dangers of continuing any interaction with that person, or even business and establishment.

I find it is a good tool for looking at my own sense of self and understanding where my habitual tilt is so that I could understand more, and recognise who I really am as opposed to what any serial projectors might be saying.

The real key to all of the extremes on the scale is in the first one. By finding a comfortable place of balance that is suited to who you are as an individual person, an optimal way of living can be found.. after all, too much of anything can be a bad thing.

Stay excellent :-)

© Saturday 19th Feb 2022