Latest Posts by therealstanfordpines - Page 5

Stanley keeps telling me that my hair isn't fluffy, it's actually curly and I'm just "not taking care of it". I said that wouldn't make sense, because almost no one else in our family has curly hair. We all have fluffy, unkempt hair. He said to just try washing my hair without aggressively brushing it out afterwards, "and even if it doesn't work, just do it to prove me wrong".

I am going to wash my hair, and I'll come back to tell you all when it inevitably turns out to just be a fluffy mess again.

Come on, she has Mother in her name. Absolute icon. She is the moment.

A Mystery Shack of Moonstone and Sun

Bank of Sapphire Cold?

Damn Ford Pines I thought we were good :(

Who is this? I'm good with most people, so if there's a problem here, you would, more likely than not, be the cause.

They were given to me.

MR. PINES DID YOU KILL POPE FRANCIS

https://www.tumblr.com/sexyman-contest-2025/781444941384761344/i-have-just-been-informed-that-the-tumblr-sexyman?source=share

I WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING WITHOUT A LAWYER (that I do not have)

I INVOKE THE FIFTH

behold

The embodiment of malewife

pose from this diva!!⬇️

Ford: This trip to the Vatican City has been quite fruitful, though still no sign of the Ionza. I wonder if more written accounts exist that I’ve missed? Overall, an enjoyable trip!

Stanley, wearing the papal tiara and holding an empty bag of weed: WE NEED TO LEAVE RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Does your husband have a Tumblr account?

If he does, he hasn't told me about it. He seems to be very anti-social-media. Even after everything that happened, he still has a bit of paranoia.

Please share the details of your current DDamD campaign. The people need to know.

My "current campaign" is in the works. It's going to be great. So great, in fact, that I plan on making a server on Disharmony (I think it's call that; I can't be sure) for it if enough people are interested.

Considering how much planning I need to put into this, it will take about two more weeks for it to be ready. I cannot express how excited I am!

A what? Also, I don't smoke. I did eat weed jelly beans though. No one told me they were weed until after I finished the entire bag. I passed out right after posting about it.

MR. PINES DID YOU KILL POPE FRANCIS

https://www.tumblr.com/sexyman-contest-2025/781444941384761344/i-have-just-been-informed-that-the-tumblr-sexyman?source=share

I WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING WITHOUT A LAWYER (that I do not have)

I INVOKE THE FIFTH

Then the only feasible explanation is that you smoked so much weed, the fumes reached Italy.

MR. PINES DID YOU KILL POPE FRANCIS

https://www.tumblr.com/sexyman-contest-2025/781444941384761344/i-have-just-been-informed-that-the-tumblr-sexyman?source=share

I WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING WITHOUT A LAWYER (that I do not have)

I INVOKE THE FIFTH

Painful Service Top? Okay, Paranormal Bottom is better. Or I dunno, Paranormal Service Switch?

NEVER call me Paranormal Service Switch if you value your life.

I wanted to do another one to see if I could have some better luck, and I got Painful Service Top. What does this mean.

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆

W h a t .

These jellybeans are fucking "bussin" or whatever the fuck kids say nowadays.

I got them off of some guy in an alley and. Woah. I've never tasted anything like it. I feel like I'm ready to ascend.

I will never regret this.

These jellybeans are fucking "bussin" or whatever the fuck kids say nowadays.

I got them off of some guy in an alley and. Woah. I've never tasted anything like it. I feel like I'm ready to ascend.

I will never regret this.

what if your husband was secretly the evil triangle in a flesh disguise

He's not. I repaired the encryption machine and he allowed me to see inside his head while I encrypted his thoughts.

Why do you want me to smooch a triangle so badly?

would you smooch an EVIL triangle

on the eye (mouth)

You're hilarious. Absolutely not. I am married.

Why is everyone else's so accurate?

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆

Well, it definitely suits you better.

What is a "Paranormal bottom"?

All you need to know is that I AM NOT ONE. Furthermore, I SHOULD NOT BE CALLED ONE.

I got the name from a nickname generator.

Did you date the chupacabra?

"Date" is a strong word. That's all I will say. I will not be elaborating.

Keep one and toss the other. We can just call you Nonsmoking from now on.

What is a "Paranormal bottom"?

All you need to know is that I AM NOT ONE. Furthermore, I SHOULD NOT BE CALLED ONE.

I got the name from a nickname generator.

would you smooch a triangle

Yes, if it was Pyramid Steve, and just on his forehead. Pyramid Steve is adorable. Aside from that, no. I will stick to kissing my husband.

What is a "Paranormal bottom"?

All you need to know is that I AM NOT ONE. Furthermore, I SHOULD NOT BE CALLED ONE.

I got the name from a nickname generator.

I'm not saying it was while we were on the Stan'O'War. I'm saying that you would now know how to get there easily.

MR. PINES DID YOU KILL POPE FRANCIS

https://www.tumblr.com/sexyman-contest-2025/781444941384761344/i-have-just-been-informed-that-the-tumblr-sexyman?source=share

I WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING WITHOUT A LAWYER (that I do not have)

I INVOKE THE FIFTH

At least yours makes sense!

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆

He's not online because his lazy ass is still asleep. Stanley Pines is still legally dead, after all. You can't arrest a dead man.

Grunkle Ford, did Grunkle Stan kill the pope?

Yes. He was smoking weed with the Pope and caused him to have a stroke.

Something you're never going to be allowed to use. I shared one with Fiddleford in college.

Grunkle Ford, did Grunkle Stan kill the pope?

Yes. He was smoking weed with the Pope and caused him to have a stroke.

Oh, you haven't found his "vase" yet. It's a bong.

Grunkle Ford, did Grunkle Stan kill the pope?

Yes. He was smoking weed with the Pope and caused him to have a stroke.

FAVORITE DIMENSION, AND YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT IT. GO!

Either dimension 73 or 96. 73 has amazing cheese, and 96 has giant frogs.

Grunkle Ford, did Grunkle Stan kill the pope?

Yes. He was smoking weed with the Pope and caused him to have a stroke.