Pls Don’t Flirt With Me I Want To Be Nonchalant So Bad But I Unfortunately Crave Connection So Intensely

-kurea:)

Somehow, despite my best attempts, I doubt I will ever be content with my own company.

I think there will forever be some part of me who yearns for that standard teenage friendship, you know? The late nights, the car rides, just the opportunity to have someone to talk to.

I’m so used to being second place- the friend they sit with when the others are away, the one they call when no one else picks up, that despite my best efforts, I can never see myself as anything more than a placeholder.

I’ve never had the high school dream. The friends, the parties, the relationships. Just the overwhelming sense of discomfort. The recognition that despite my best efforts, I will never be seen as more than the “fat friend”.

unfortunately, i am an attention whore.

also unfortunately, no matter what i do, i don't get the attention i crave.

"if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" babe slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

please im so tired im just so fucking tired please just stop can everything stop im so tired im begging can it all stop

thinking you're being overdramatic and paranoid over nothing only to be proven completely right is such a sickening feeling.

therapists saying you're surprisingly self aware is like being called a pleasure to have in class for adults