Trash-is-not-on-fire - M

yknow we didn’t get pinof this year but we did get phil dressed up as a cat while dan flirts with him and that’s pretty much the same thing

THEY ARE COOKING?? THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE!!

the actual reason theyre not gonna play the ultimate date night game is frankly none of the questions are new information. "who's most likely to audition for a reality show" idk ask mr gnu over there. "tell your partner your honest first opinion" blah blah poundland anthony padilla etc. "who initiated the first kiss"well. "what mannerisms do they have that you notice" he'll bring up tongue laugh and claw thing. and et cetera et cetera

Ok but I know we make fun of Dan for making sex jokes about Phil and we tell them like oh TOO MUCH INFO DADS GROSS, what if instead we responded collectively gaslighting Dan that he could never actually pull Phil Lester. Like come ON DUDE you WISH you could tap that 😩😩 only in your wildest dreams baby face Howell 🙄🙄🙄 stop hitting on your coworker he clearly isn’t into you 😤🤚🏻

hope this doesn't awaken anything in me

[Donate here!]

DnP playing a drinking board game with liquorice and soups should not be that hilarious. Just!! I had to pause the video approximately twice a minute just to take in the next hilarious thing that they said. SO many innuendos. Phil doing it on purpose for sure, glint in his eye as he was watching with glee as Dan struggled to consume liquorice, not even stopping when Dan tried to wave him off. Dan the cougar with the animal print and Phil with the blond hair, blue eyes combo. Getting use out of their left-over New Years cups. Repeat of Phil really struggling with soups (they are evil when lumpy and cold, Phil, I feel for you). Dan's hatred for liquorice (though that drink must have been toxic levels, so fair for that but not the salted liquorice because that's also a loved sweet here in Denmark as well as Sweden). Phil handing Dan the black piece instantly and choosing blue for himself. The mug with the whiskers (deep nostalgia). All of the little mini games where they're fighting so intensely, stumbling over their words and almost spilling drinks. The banana video censored and Dan hiding behind the board game packaging. Dan joking if Phil slept with the bearded ginger and Phil's lil shut up huffed out through laughter. Dan comparing himself to a hippo needing a bird to pick out stuff between his teeth, TILTING his head jokingly towards Phil as if he should be the bird and just go to town (no words for this, they are insane!). The secret draft thing (birthday related?)! The Phil can't have chocolate, so don't make that type of cake pls, mum. The sheer drama of their dice rolling and Phil threatening to leave or stick some authority on Dan about seven times. Phil being so brave and actually drinking that horrible concoction (though Dan protecting the sealz <3). The little iPhone videos put in, clearly of them just fumbling around. The sheer laughter and smiling and joy that was all throughout the video, even as they were suffering with their drinks/foods. They are just so gay and I don't even dare tally up all of the innuendos. I feel like I need an immediate rewatch. They are just so entertaining and funny and feeling themselves and it's contagious and I love them and they've come so far and this is the longest sentence ever but that's okay because none of this is meant to be pretty or nice, it's meant to just express my love for these two insane dorks that have made videos for us for like 15 years at this point. Anyway, I'm clearly completely chill. Great video, guys.

howley and aziraphil are here to save the world

howley and aziraphil are here to save the world

stupid bitch (affectionate)

The crazy thing about The Ranch Monologue™️ is that Dan is using them to explain how perfect ranch is. He tastes ranch and thinks “this is such a perfect combination of flavors” and in his brain the best way to explain to Phil how much he likes it is to say “it’s just like US”. He’s not using ranch as a metaphor for his relationship he’s using the relationship to explain how perfect the ranch is.