Every Scene Between James And Oliver Is Either Romantic Or Angsty (sometimes Both). It Makes Me Feel

Julian: so you killed two people?

Henry: you can justify anything, if you do it poetically enough

Francis *wishpers*: wrong fandom Henry.

I am gonna take a break from TSH. Although it was because of that I started this blog. I have been very burned out with that book. I cleaned out my drafts. For the past three years of hyper-fixation made me learn about so many things. I have changed my opinions so much since I made my first post and it made me realise how you not only mature in age but also in your ideas about certain topics and characters.

It won't probably be my final post about TSH, I want to return to it a few years later to see it in a retrospective lens opposed to the rose-tinted one I wore when I completed the book for the first time.

My current thoughts on the characters;

Henry: loved him at first and I love him still. But for different reasons. I loved him when I first read the book because I was too in love with his character to realise the type of person he was. Even agreeing on his terrible decisions (ex: killing Bunny, bacchanal, etc...) but now I love him because he is so unhinged and terrible like the many morally grey/evil characters we all love.

Richard: for some reason I thought he was a good person who got wrapped in all this shit and wasn't bad. Now I think Richard is equally responsible for the tragedy by not reporting a murder and by being an actual accomplice to murder.

Camilla: my thoughts on her have changed the least. At first I used to think she was just the nicest of them. And then it changed to--- she is hiding a secret dark side or more layers we don't get to see.

Francis: I thought he was also the nicest, next to Camilla because he doesn't take any problematic actions. But it is his inability to take actions of his own that makes him bad. Although I still think he is underrated and often misunderstood

Charles: I couldn't stand Charles at first. And I can't just justify everything he did cuz he is terrible. It's just he is often used as a scapegoat to make Henry look better which I hate. He's a menace yes, but so is Henry!!!!!

Julian: I don't have a lot to say cuz we rarely see him. All I can say is he is not the mastermind of the whole story. He's a John Keating gone wrong example.

Bunny: my thoughts on Bunny have changed the most. From HATING him to feeling sympathy and even bad for him. I still won't agree he is somehow the best person out there, cuz he is definitely not. Bunny is hated to an extent that he doesn't deserve. And ounce and for all, he didn't deserve to die (I take back what I said about him in the past)

Judy: ounce a queen 👑 always a queen 👑

So this is it. Thanks TSH for being the bane and reason for my existence since the pandemic.

~ 🕊️

Just the idea of Atsushi going out of his way to decorate his house for the new years using all the money he has to make Kyouka happy comes into my head----

I do think ever since Kyouka moved in with Atsushi he has changed his lifestyle. He bought new furniture, he makes good food at home and keeps the house warm. Cuz Atsushi is never letting his little sister have anything less than what she deserves.

Kunikida: Atsushi came to get his salary in advance again. Do you want me to check on him?

Fukuzawa: no, don't. It's fine

Kunikida: I hope he's not wasting his money like Dazai does....

Fukuzawa: he doesn't. I know it.

*meanwhile*

Kyouka: you didn't have to buy the bunny plushie, I didn't need it!

Atsushi: of course I had to. It's your Christmas gift.

Kyouka: I don't need gifts. I already have everything

Atsushi: no you don't. I want you to have all the things a little girl should have

Kyouka: I already have you, I didn't need anything else.

Atsushi: *starts crying*

Kyouka: *pat pat* I made some cake big bro, let's eat.

Taylor Swift is like a friend to me, a therapist, a mentor, a sister, a cool aunt. She just makes me feel understood. It's hard to describe what kind of parasocial relationship this is but I am happy it's there.

What is your ideal life?

ESTP: do every illegal thing there is without going to jail.....

ESFP: living the dream in Las Vegas...for free

ENTP: being a philosophy professor so I can debate all my life with my students and get paid for it

ENFP: do everything I ever want and not being called "weird" and "unrealistic"

ENFJ: have lots of friends with problems, so I can solve their problems.

ESFJ: live a happy life with my family,friends, significant other and kids

ESTJ: being able to shout at my incompetent subordinates without being called a menace

ENTJ: world domination

ISTP: live in an island with good internet connection

ISFP: being an appreciated artist

INTP: staying at home and not have responsibility for anything

INFP: being able to live out my life without thinking about all my embarrassing moments that replay in my head every night when I try to sleep....

INFJ: being able to turn down people when they ask for help all the time without feeling guilty

ISFJ: having lots of cats and world peace

ISTJ: a stable job and a stable family

INTJ: There is no ideal life here. My plan is to leave earth for a better planet.

The Greek Class didn't destroy Richard, he brought that on himself.

He chose to be destroyed and I am sure a part of him wanted to be.

He's the type of person who wants to be different, to be admired, to be apart from normal people.

That's why he tried to get in the Greek class in the first place even when Julian rejected him ounce, he wanted to be with the elites, to be exclusive.

Richard does show remorse for his actions at times but that doesn't mean he didn't find it thrilling.

He wanted an adventure, to see a tragedy, to be part of something dramatic and exciting. He was bored in his little town, around distant parents and normal friends.

He has always felt like he was above other people and he does look down on others who don't understand or follow his ideals.

His idolization of the Greek class is the reason he got destroyed, he was blinded by the opportunity to be included and accepted by them that he didn't look back at the mistakes he made for them.

Richard's story is a cautionary tale about foregoing your sanity and ethics for a broken, one sided friendship. They used him again and again, he did everything for them. Never questioning what he was really doing.

In the end, he was never a part of their group.

He was just there.

Life goes on:

Life goes on,

When the blossoms may.

When dry leaves fall down,

In a sun free day.

Life goes on,

When childhood ends.

When you grow apart,

From all your friends.

Life goes on,

When you walk alone.

In sunny paths and trails,

Of a hillside house.

Life goes on,

When you let things go.

When you accept,

There's always left some hope.

Life goes on and on

And on till the-

Day you die and-

Leave your imprint behind.

~ME

Julian: Henry, what's the ONE thing I told you NOT to do EVER?

Henry: kill someone

Julian: And what did you do?

Henry: I killed someone

Julian:

Man literally left after he found out his students killed someone ☠️☠️☠️☠️

He's not gonna clean this mess

Me and my friends hanging out and talking about our fictional crushes:

Friends: normal crushes on attractive characters

Me: has a crush on only main character's brothers

Friends: omg looks likes you have a brother complex...hahaha.....just kidding

Me: heh....no of course not

Me, later in my bed: I think I do have a brother complex caused by lack of male figures to look up that has made me in want of finding them in other peoples siblings.....

Me: or they are just hot when they are two years older

Things I have said or done as an INTP:

~ "It's not like I hate talking, you are just so boring. I don't even remember what you said two seconds ago. That's how unremarkable you are. So, it's not a ME problem, it's a YOU problem"

~ "I forgot to eat breakfast and lunch"

~ "Do I really need to wish someone their birthday? Do y'all like getting old?"

~ "Whenever I feel awkward, I imagine brutal ways to kill people"

~ "What do you mean I can't order from the kids menu? I eat like five things in my life"

~ "Sometimes I put on earphones just to avoid people"

~ "The T.V remote was too far away so I stared at the wall for five hours"

~ "I don't have enough energy to correct you right now, call me later"

~ *person says* "Hey, how are you?"

*ME* "Nice to meet you my name is just fine....wait"

~ "I am willing to die proving a point"

~ "I am not gonna study. What's the worst thing that happens? I fail. It's not like I am dying. I won't mind that either"

~ "I gave up on life when I was 11. The best decision I ever made"

~ "I am not sorry for coming late. I feel sorry that I came"

~ "I will touch grass when I am in the coffin"

~ "Well actually, everything you said was opinions, not facts. I don't care about how you feel, if you don't care about what I think"

~ "I pity how dumb you are"