Curate, connect, and discover
Burnout - Blog Posts
March 12, 2025
wow, it's the first Wednesday of my unemployed life. corporate burnout sounds silly. but i seriously feel strange without a corporate job. i feel this impending need to stay productive. my therapist and wife remind me this is a recovery period.
even so, i have enjoyed getting back into creative projects. my personal website is coming along. there is so much more that comes from launching a blog than i realized. email lists is my current headache. oh, and also the background color not matching on mobile...
how do i get this email to work? at least my initial page is up!
I am happy with my choices.
other things i am enjoying:
walking without feeling the urge to get back inside and check my work email
just watching my dog and how she navigates the world (a shame i hadn't paid more attention to it before)
moving my body more
not rushing during lunch
eating three meals a day
and not spending 8+ hours stuck at a desk
restarting the artist's way
so grateful and privileged to even be in a position where I can quit my job and take time to focus on my mental health.
Worst friend group to ever exist. Reblog to throw rocks at them
Day 19, synthesis
I’m deeeeaaaad, lazy dead, probably burnout
I’m really out of strength to realign myself, this one from the last bits
I can’t believe I have signed myself up for at least 4 more years of exams and mental burnout
Education in its current form is completely unsustainable. I feel like I hate chemistry even though I have to go and study it in October
How to deal with “I had the shiniest wheels now they’re rusting” syndrome
Why is my life all dark and no academia
AUGHHHHH IM FLOPPING SO BADLY
I don't even know man I have absolutely Nothing going on for me rn bru nothing to really hyperfixate on and it's driving my nerves insane I do not have anything to distract myself from the world around me anymore. Poppy playtime isn't doing it for me anymore. It's a comfort game, yes, but not a hyperfixation anymore. Maybe it's because I have no one to talk about it with? Or maybe my life is just dry. I mean, of course, you don't want to get TOO out of touch with the world around you, but yeah. I think it's just the lack of interaction I've been having irl and on media mixed with some other things
I'm not sure how much longer I can hold up at this point blehhhhhhh :p.
Seasons
Trees in the winter are skeletons
But now they are beaded with buds
Grass greener than ever
To make up for being dead
Overcompensation
Before burn out
It will all soon happen again
And without knowing it,
I will grow into
Good territory or bad
I may be stuck here but
It’s my choice where my roots go
I will see it through in the weather
And the seasons of weakness
Burnout
Watts and volts
Nutts and bolts
Do not sit right
With a loss of appetite
Sitting on the pinnacle
And being cynical
Detatched
And mismatched
I feel meek
By drowning with just a slow leak
Just a drop can turn into a flood
Leaving me buried in mud
Everything is out of my league
When I'm drowning in fatigue
Too much asleep
To even weep
I had a shot
But then I forgot
Stillness
Is the only way to cure this illness
In other words, I am having trouble finding the door
Because I don’t want to work on Maggie’s farm anymore
24 January 2022-Reset
Hey ya’ll!
I can’t believe it’s already almost February. I really feel like this month flew by. I’ve been all over the place since this semester started. However, I finally feel that I’ve finally settled in and have gotten used to being back in school. I had all of these tasks I had planned to accomplish during winter break that I ended up neglecting. Honestly, I was beyond exhausted and burnt out after the end of my last semester. I, pretty much, spent my entire break sleeping, playing Animal Crossing, hanging with my family, and catching up with my friends over the phone.
The funny thing is, in the past, during winter break, which is like a month long for a lot college students, I would get bored around the 2 week mark and would start looking forward to going back to school for the spring semester. However, this year, for the first time ever, I didn’t want to go back...like at all. In fact, by the 3rd week of break, I was starting to get anxious again and was absolutely DREADING going back to school. I was even wishing I had an additional week, on top of the entire month, of break. Not only because I had not completed any of the tasks I had set aside for the break, but because I was still really tired. Not just physically, but mentally as well. I’m really not sure why though. Maybe it’s because I’m entering my second (or third???) year of the pandemic. Maybe it’s the fact that last year was awful and I was still recovering from everything that happened. Maybe it’s because this spring is the last semester of my degree and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life and just wanted more time to not have to think about that. Maybe it’s because I knew how lonely I was going to be again once returning to the city I attend school. Maybe it’s a mixture of everything...and more.
Then those feelings of dread ended up turning into guilt. I felt guilty for not being more productive with my winter break. I also felt frustrated with myself, especially after realizing I now had very little time to accomplish a large amount of work by the deadline that was established prior to break. This just worsened my anxiety and dread.
I ended up, reluctantly, bringing this up with a therapist. After telling them everything I was feeling and how I wished I didn’t choose sleep over work during my break, they said something that has stuck with me and will probably stick with me for the rest of my life. They said, “Maybe you needed that break.” They then proceeded to reassure me that there was no reason to feel guilty for choosing to rest. And you know what? I agree. It took a while to get to this point, but I finally do agree with them. I mean...I still think I would have benefited from getting at least SOME of my tasks done, but it’s fine. I really did need that break. Last year left me drained and broken and I needed to use that time to rebuild myself a bit so that I could be ready for this year.
This also reminds me of what I have told friends of mine these past couple of years. “If you don’t take a break, your body is going to do it for you.” Basically, what I mean when I’ve said this is that if you’re constantly on the go and not listening to your body and taking necessary breaks, your body is going to shut down when you least expect it. When it does, it’s going to be at the most inconvenient time of your life. At that point, you will have no choice but to finally slow down a bit and take some time to recover.
I’ve decided that I really need to start applying this philosophy to myself. Not to hype myself up too much, but...sometimes I do give good advice. I just need to be more proactive with practicing what I preach.
Anyway, if you’ve made it this far in this long post (if you’re some of the new people who have followed me this past month, just to warn you...unfortunately, this isn’t going to be the last lol) thank you for taking the time to read my jumbled thoughts. I’m going to start back up with my fitness/health journey-related posts this week, now that I feel a bit more grounded. So stay tuned.
Until later, stay safe friends :)
The world is on my shoulders, I can't stand the weight
It's shadow looms over me, a reminder of everything I hate
Oh, what I would give anything to leave it all and walk away
But I know how the guilt would eat at me everyday
I wish I could power through, give it my all
But no matter what I do, I just feel so small
Is there a way to remain persistent?
The longer I struggle, the more I grow indifferent.
I think I've started coping for my coping
I thought I was better, but now I'm moping
Maybe it was all just hopeless hoping
To everyone who WANTS to work out and be more active, but can’t make it out of bed bc or depression or burnout etc. YOU DONT HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED.
Here’s a list of exercises I’ve found I can do in my bed. Please be aware that as long as you are happy with yourself, that great. I just made this list for myself when it’s hard to get out of bed, but I still WANT to get some exercise in. This list is not meant to shame anyone or tell people that they have to work out or say any “no excuses” bullshit. This is really just for fun and for when you’re feeling up for it. Love you guys and take care of yourself ❤️
Note: I do not have experience with chronic pain or issues with mobility, so if you are in bed for those reasons, this list may not be for you, but if you feel up to giving them a try, great!
- leg raises
- planks
- Russian twists
- supermans
- side planks
- knee push ups or push ups
- flutter kicks
- shoulder tap planks
- bicycles
- hollow body hold
- modified tricep dips (where you get in a crab-walk stance and dip your arms up and down)
Anyway, love you guys. Have fun and take care of yourself.
In school, I struggled with writing-heavy projects. Everyone else seemed to have no issue writing essays, while it felt impossible for me. I would spend hours just looking at a blank page, thinking through how to start.
When I told my 8th grade teacher that I would be handing in another essay late, he offered to grade my first draft so I could spend more time catching up on other projects.
He understood why I struggled when I told him I didn’t write drafts. I only ever submitted the best version I could manage in one sitting, but only after thinking about the entire essay altogether over multiple weeks.
I’m really trying to learn and understand, while also letting go of that. I want to paint and write and create without over analyzing each step, burning out before I start.
The Fourth Week
We’re now only entering the fourth week of online classes and I’m already feeling burnt out. I’ve only started to pay more attention to my signs recently so I think this is a win for me, realizing and admitting that I am in fact burnt out.
Anyway, I hope you’re all doing better, drinking water regularly, trying to get decent sleep every night, eating your meals, just,,,, being healthy physically, emotionally and mentally !!
And if you’re like me, suffering from a burnout, I hope we get to find the rest we need so we can realign ourselves. feeling burnt out is normal, it’s okay. we just need to find ways to cope up. take care everyone !!
Does sleeping on your books bestow you with additional knowledge?
Well, if you lag behind too much everything's worth trying, I guess.
___________
I... I just can't make an artwork with a simple, easy-to-pull-off lighting, OK? That's beyond my mental abilities.
NATG XIII - Day 26 Prompt: Draw a pony who is dead tired / Draw a pony running on empty. Here's a kirin named Clover Meadows, who is tired and suffering from burnout. It'll be quite sometime before she can go nirik again...
Me: ex-gifted kid who has an IQ of 139 and graduated with a 4.0
Also Me: can’t add without counting on my fingers
Reminder
Your sadness is valid.
Your frustration is valid.
Your pain is valid.
Your jealousy is valid.
Your hurt is valid.
Your disappointment is valid.
Your shame/guilt is valid.
Your regret is valid.
Your anxiety is valid.
Your happiness is valid.
Your enthusiasm is valid.
Your passion is valid.
Your love is valid.
Your emotions are valid.
No matter what your emotions are, they are valid. You are allowed to feel.
But that does not mean your reactions may be valid too. You cannot hurt other people because of your emotions. You are responsible for your reactions to emotions.
Responsibility does not dismiss your validity of feeling a particular emotion.
Reminder
It's okay if you didn't achieve the things that you worked hard for.
It's also okay if you did.
It's okay if you feel like you didn't try harder.
It's also okay if you did.
No matter what people say, you did your best.
If you didn't achieve the goal that you said you would, people will say "She didn't try hard enough"
If you did achieve the goal, they would say "She sacrificed too much"
No matter what, people will talk
So, be gentle to yourself.
Progress is still progress!
It doesn't matter if you hadn't done the things you were supposed to do. It doesn't matter that if you finished 1 thing out of 4 things. You don't have 3 more things to do, you have 1 less thing to complete.
It doesn't matter if you had relapsed after a day or 3 of productivity and healing into a spiral again. What matters is that you get back up and start again. Because now you're a bit stronger and more resilient than before.
It doesn't matter if all you did today was getting out of bed, eat and change your clothes while you did nothing else. Appreciate yourself and give yourself the credit you deserve for doing those small things.
It doesn't matter if the only thing you did today was to focus on existing and on yourself alone. Be proud of surviving till the end of the day because you made it through knowing that there was a possibility of you not making it.
Progress is still progress. It doesn't matter if you take small or big steps. You're taking a step and that's all that matters.
Hey you guys... sorry I haven't been posting lately, my mental health got really bad really fast until I OD'd yesterday ❤️