Cassandra Cain - Blog Posts

Billionaire Bruce Wayne Refuses to Buy Second Couch

This is my favourite trio, definitely. I love them annoying Bruce.

cass should be the ONLY contender for batman. that is the truth, I speak no lies.

I'm thinking so hard about a non-superhero Biker AU because the angst in DC is once again getting to me. I mean there's still so much angst but yk... Anyway, listen up:

Bruce Wayne, famous bike racer, son of a famous bike racer. Alfred, his godfather and a pit mechanic, took him in. The Graysons were some of his biggest supports in the sport once Bruce's parents died. We jump ahead a bit, Bruce is sixteen and a baby Dick Grayson is born. He grows up to be inquisitive as hell, skilled in many sports including dance and gymnastics, and of course a fascination with bikes.

When Dick is ten, his parents die in an accident. He's tossed into the foster system for a bit, and Bruce figures that he has to take the kid in. It takes a bit to get the papers approved for him to be a foster parent, but eventually he's cleared and volunteers to take the kid on. Dick takes a while to adjust and process, but Bruce has an extensive garage and Dick is thrilled.

Said garage is where we meet a 12 year oldJason Todd six years later, as he tries to steal the tires off the bat bike. He then gets spotted by Bruce who just wanted to go grocery shopping, but instead gets hit with a tire iron and called a boob. (Gotta give the occasional nod to cannon) Two weeks later, Bruce gets a call about an emergency placement in his area, and when the kid shows up, the fury in his eyes and the ratty old red backpack are unmistakable.

Those two ideas are pretty solid, and I'll keep updating as I come up with ideas and things. Feel free to reblog/reply/ask with any thoughts of your own!

have you read wayne family adventures? I think youd rlly like it, with how you described the batfam show

A friend just recently recommended it to me! I've started reading it and it's definitely scratching a little bit of that itch lol

Guys, I don't think you understand how badly I want a batfam show. Don't ask me who our big bad is, I don't know. But I wanna see the nuances of their relationships and see them grow closer. I wanna see Tim and Jason working together on a mission to gather info, I wanna see Duke and Cass and Barbara work together to get into a villain safehouse. I want to see Dick being the self sacrificing oldest sibling who basically raised his siblings for the entire time Bruce was lost in time. I want to see Damien get to be a child, I want to see Steph find her place somewhere where she can trust her family. I dunno, I want feels and mystery solving and nuance and AGH.

How small must the world be for both Bruce and Tim to witness John and Mary Grayson's deaths

Or for 10-year-old Duke to crack the Riddler's puzzle before Batman swoops in and saves the day, long before his powers came into play

Or for Sheila Haywood to leave her son only to end up assisting his killer a decade and a half later

Not to mention the popular fanon concept of Jason knowing baby Damian in the League of Assassins

Now imagine how many other invisible strings could've tied them together

Like what if Tim and Jason went to the same school when Jason was Robin but all they shared was the occasional bump and "excuse me" in the busy halls

Or what if Babs was a tutor and helped an elementary-aged Steph finally understand her homework only for the Browns to cancel after a couple sessions because they couldn't afford it

What if the first person to buy Cass a hot meal was Kate on one of her travels

What if Alfred witnessed young Selina shoplifting groceries but chose to turn a blind eye

What if Jason lived on the same streets as the Row siblings and gave little Harper tips on how to use tools and defend her brother

What if Steph and Duke shared the same school bus, only he sat in the front while she was toward the back

What if the first person to teach Tim how to tie his shoes was Bruce at a gala because Jack and Janet were busy talking to someone important

What if Bette did a DNA test for fun and found a connection in Nanda Parbat but just assumed the results was faulty because she knew her whole family, right?

What if 8-year-old Dick, the day before his parents died, stayed at a cheap hotel near Crime Alley and found 4-year-old Jason wandering alone and said, "I'll be your big brother for tonight"

What if the universe knew they were made for each other and wouldn't rest until they realized it too

To add onto this there are people who marry into families and see their partner's siblings as their siblings or their partner's parents as their parents does that suddenly make their relationship incest? No! That's just how found families work!

A pet peeve I hate:

When they make Steph a sibling to the others and still have her fall for Tim or Cass (or have even Jason!) BUT it's okay for Steph, who is NOT part of the Wayne's people, to be with them while if the rest are together it's incest.

Make it make sense people!

If Stephanie is a sister to the kids, she can't, according to alot of y'all, be going out or in love with any of them. That's incest!

*In actuality none of them are related by blood except for Damian and Bruce. So having ships with them? Isn't incest. (None of them grew up together either. So don't use that as an excuse.)

**Dick was out of the house by the time Jason came along.

***Jason was dead and Dick and Tim had a good relationship but it took time to grow and again, Dick wasn't there.

****Tim and Damian might be the only ones who were in the same house but for how long until Tim got emancipated?

*****I forgot, it would be Duke and Damian now living in the house/with Bruce/Dick now.

******I think Cass was in between the three younger boys and in the house but she’s barely ever put with them.

Literally, Steph cannot be a sibling and be a partner at the same time! (At least according to y’all.)

NONE OF THEM ARE REAL AND NONE OF THEM ARE ACTUALLY RELATED!

There have been a LOT of debates on here and other social media platforms about the Batfam & their views on killing. I've had thoughts on this for a while and it's currently 1AM so lets do this:

Alfred: Would kill if neccesary, but only then. He wouldn't lose a night of sleep if he believes it's justified, but his definition of justified might not align with everyone elses. Alfred often puts the duty of the bat up on an even higher pedestal than Bruce, and if someone dangerous discovered the secret and Alfred could get away with it, he's definitely consider option, even if he probably wouldn't.

Bruce: I saw a post a few days ago about the Hunger Games and its view on bad people v.s. atrocities. The point was that if you prioritize condemning the people over their actions, you risk falling into those same actions. Bruce, and the concept of Batman, embodies that. His first priority will always be to stop atrocities from happening, not punishing the perpetrators. His refusal to kill stems FROM that. He's not cleaning up the city from bad people, he's cleaning up the city from bad actions. Honestly, I do not believe that killing someone would "destroy" Bruce in the way it's often suggested. But i do believe it would ruin the faith people have in the bat as a symbol of faith and hope, and I believe Bruce would struggle to cope with it for a long time.

Dick: Is a lot more morally rigid than Bruce. Where I firmly believe Bruce's emotional regulation issues come from being raised by Alfred, Dick got raised by Alfred and Bruce. As a result, he's a lot more like Bruce than he'd ever be willing to admit, and in some ways, he might be worse. Dick crosses peoples lines a lot in canon, especially when it comes to manipulating people. But the one line he'd never cross is murder. Yes, he nearly murdered Joker, but that was in a fit of rage. If Bruce hadn't resuscitated the Joker, I firmly believe it would've significantly changed both Dick as a civillian and Nightwing as a vigilante. It would break him.

Babs: Doesn't want to kill, but wojldn't hesitate. Her dad's a cop, she knows very well that in a life or death situation, she can't hesitate. She'll do all the training in the world to prevent herself from being in that spot, but if she gets caught of guard (again) she'll now be ready.

Jason: Unlike Dick and Bruce, Jason's first trauma wasn't the murder of a loved one. His mother died of an overdose and Jason's dad originally got killed in prison (not sure if that's still canon). He never had one hard line "no killing" because his first horrors were a lot less clear. He doesn't take killing lightly, but he believes that some crimes are unforgivable, and without significant fear, you can't stop people from committing them.

Cass: Cass is not morally against killing, but she won't do it. She can read every single sign in a person's body and knows so inherently how wrong it is. She killed once as a kid and decided to never again. If there was no absoluely other way out of a situation, and someone other than her was the one in danger, she might, but I really doubt that would or could ever happen.

Tim: Originally, Tim's no killing rule came from his idolidation of Batman and Robin. They said "no killing" so Tim internalized that. Tim is a very rigid person in his morals, but in a different way than Dick. His entire time as Robin, Tim had people trying to convince him to turn to the dark side and start killing, starting with Lady Shiva. This is what makes it so ironic that the only person Tim technically "killed" was in fact Shiva. It was a complete accident while he was affected by a herb that gave him super speed and Tim himself immediately administered CPR despite Shiva trying to kill him not even a minute ago. Then with Gun Batman, Tim's morals slightly change. Tim still refuses to ever kill, but now it's more out of fear. If he starts killing, at what point does he become that villain? His morals grey over time, the captain boomrang incident show that, as does the entire first half of the Red Robin run. But Tim has drawn ONE line for himself that he wants to maintain so he doesn't become Gun Batman, and that's that he won't kill. (So no, I don't believe he physically blew up any league bases. He blew up their online infrastructure. That's it.)

Steph: Her mother is a nurse who taught Steph to value life, but I honestly think that if Steph ever has to kill someone, or a accidentally kills someone (who deserves it) she'd handle it best. She wouldn't be completely normal about it, but she'd work through it and carry on.

Duke: Honestly mirrors Dick in a lot of ways, there's a reason they initially got paired in We Are Robin. I don't think Duke is capable of killing anyone. He's still human, he has a snapping point (but not enough has happened to reach it), but if he killed, he'd really struggle with it.

Damian: Hardest to nail down for me by far. (Mostly because the writers are fucking inconsistent) He used to be able to kill without remorse, and sometimes he mourns the fact that ne no longer can do that. But most of the time he's grateful for how far he's come. If he gets a chance to kill someone like the Joker and get away with it, he might, but otherwise, he's grown enough to know the value of human life.

The Council of Concerned Cousins.

CoCC, if you will.

FIC: Harry Potter and the Great Custody Battle by dajgen (ao3)

from up-down, left-right: peter - jason, dick - tim, damian - cass

i'm actually obsessed with this fic, and when the author updated with the last chapter, my hand got possessed. so... here i am *confetti*

i personally love the fact that CoCC was the acronym, and the one to lead the discussions was dick. perfection fr.

i, initially, had more of this done, but the file got corrupted for some reason so i had to remake most of it. i'm still working on cass and damian, not to mention cleaning up a bit more and shading. i'll post an update when i do! hope ya enjoyed, be sure to got read the fic (it's really good), and fingers crossed the author updates again soon!

i take your kardashian batfam au and give u idol! batfam au where the wayne kids became a jackson 5-esque-idol group

the wayne kids decided that being an idol group is the BEST cover yes sir cause there's nothing that could go wrong with that no sireeee

i only had in mind that someone joked about the wayne kids having enough siblings for an idol group and dick decided that was so ridiculous, it was perfect

then he roped everyone else in it, somehow convincing them with one reason or other

[...]

"who would believe that nightwing has an idol day job?? ... don't answer that BUT NOBODY WOULD THINK /THIS ROBIN/ OR /RED HOOD/ WOULD!!"

[...]

dick: so-

cass: im in

dick: but-

cass, putting her hands on his, her eyes burning in passion or smth: im. in. :)

dick: ... can you convince tim?

cass: :)

[...]

"i KNOW you want to join steph but you need to be adopted into the family officially for that!"

steph joins after blackmailing dick with one thing or another, idk but jason helped her, she's the new lead rapper

[...]

duke: yk... when i joined this family, i didn't know what to expect *looks at all his adopted siblings in sparkly outfits, ready to perform, then down to his own where he got manhandled into one and was about to be introduced as not only the newest wayne but the newest member* but i can tell you for certain, it wasn't this...

[...]

when bruce is asked about it, he just says to take it up with the kids' managers, who is babs, and everyone is lowkey scared of her.

[...]

kpop community would know about this best but listen yall know those variety shows where idols go on often and sometimes do random challenges for coupons?? yeah. that.

the bats are already insanely competitive. that's all i'm gonna say :)

yk considering bruce is such a paranoid bat, i'm surprised he didn't have a whole high-heel wearing fighting routine like he's fought catwoman and other female characters who wear heels and fight, heels would make the training 10x harder and help for everyone to have a better center of balance, as well as good for learning to muffle your footsteps with shoes that are typically noisy with every step; not to mention that if undercover work required heels for some reason or other, the person going won't be hindered by heels

also heels can be a deadly weapon, make the heel part of a high stiletto be an actual blade and ik damian and jason are all for it

which brings me to my conclusion that dick, while being a bit wobbly at first, actually takes to it like a duck to water; cass only needed a few minutes to get used to it, she's a ballerina, heels are nothing to her; surprisingly jason doesn't struggle as much as a man of his size typically would but it still takes him a good while before he's as good on heels as not; duke and steph struggle greatly as they keep forgetting they have heels on; tim surprisingly does pretty well in comparison but complains over how much it hurts and still struggles being able to stay standing when pushed too hard; damian learns in like a week simply because he's too stubborn to admit defeat and spent almost every waking hour wearing them, getting used to them, and training with them (i wouldn't put it past him to go to school wearing some black, easily non noticeable smaller heels just to continue his training)

bonus: bruce, while training them for heel combat, wears heels and makes it look v easy but then one night catwoman comes over or smth and she cackles when she tells the batfam stories of when bruce had asked her for help on that and the many trials and errors he struggled through; no one noticed but during that time, batman added heels to his usual get up for extra training (he got rid of them after he was much more proficient in heel combat but tim and barbara were able to find some old footage of batman swinging thru gotham; there they were able to confirm that batman was sporting some high thigh length platform heel boots because ofc if the bat is going to do anything, it must fit his aesthetic and be dramatic too)

Dick ‘has been a barista like 90 times over 50 years of comics Grayson’ can absolutely prepare whatever drink you want him too. He can also guess/ judge what your go to order is.

With the bats

He can guess what WILL be there favorite even if they’ve never tried it before

——————

Bruce on 13 mins of sleep fucking exhausted but even Alfred isn’t giving him shit bc they HAVE TO crack this case: hrn

Dick plopping a take away coffee cup in front of him: DRINK

Bruce goes through a quick is this my son or a shapeshifter, mind control, demon situation before deciding fuck it we ball and taking a sip: this… tastes different

Dick: yeah

Bruce ‘actual freak who grumbles when coffee isn’t bitter enough’ Wayne: this is good

Dick: yeah it’s a red eye

Bruce: hrn

Dick: yeah no problem B

——————

Jay (just got done fighting aliens and needs to get back to whatever he was doing before) : get me a Drink as black as my soul

Dick: sure

Dick brings back the drink from the kitchen

Dick: strawberry iced matcha with oat milk right here for you

Jay: what the fuck Goldie

Dick: I saw you sobbing at the notebook a week ago don’t play tough with me and don’t fucking lie we both know you like tea more.

Jay sputtering: Don’t PLAY TOUGH? BROTHER I PUT A BUNCH OF HEADS A BAG AND MADE THE UNDERWORLD INTO MY BITCH

Dick: yes yes Jay now go drink your tea and run along

(It is the best fucking thing he’s ever tried, bought a matcha making kit as soon as he got him, has denied it ever since but Dick doesn’t buy it and keeps making him the drink)

—————-

Tim:

Dick:

Tim:

Dick:

Tim:

Dick: you’re a heathen

Tim: proudly

Dick: fine take the monster and go OH MY GOD

————————

Steph wincing at the taste of a latte: there’s something seriously wrong with this place, no matter how much sugar I add it’s just bitter

Dick: yeah Steph it’s bc they burn the beans to get more use of em

Dick: you could add all the cream and milk you want it’s not gonna do shit

Steph: ugh this is the only coffee spot on my campus in so screwed

Dick pulling out a takeaway coffee cup: don’t worry I brought you some from home

Steph: Jesus fuck this is delicious

Dick: upside down sweet almond latte with caramel and double espresso

Steph: should’ve married into the family with Tim god damn

Dick: Cass is still an option

Steph: what

Dick: what

——————————-

Dick:

Duke:

Dick:

Duke:

Dick: you’re one of Tim’s heathens aren’t you

Duke: just because I like energy drinks more doesn’t mean I don’t LIKE coffee

Dick grumbling: should’ve left you with the cops

Duke: what was that? I didn’t hear you

Dick thrusting the coffee cup at him: just take it, end my suffering

Duke: oh damn that’s good… what is it

Dick:…. It’s Vietnamese style coffee

Duke: fuck I might I have to switch, Jesus that’s good

Dick vaguely smug: another victory

—————

Dick: hey Cass

Cass: busy… like you should be

Dick: yeah, yeah I have like 6 mins of free time left before I have to meet up with Robin (Tim) for an op

Dick: anyway i made you strawberry hot chocolate

Cass: this isn’t coffee

Dick: it has 180 milligrams of caffeine

Cass: how?

Dick: don’t ask difficult questions

Dick: where the hell did she go?

Dick: is this how everyone else feels about us?

——————

Damian: I want coffee

Dick: you’re an infant, no

Damian: IM 15 GRAYSON

Dick: a certifiable baby

Damian: I hate you

Dick: you would hate me more if you stunted your growth and ended up Tim sized

Tim: HEY!

Damian: this is true… apologies Richard

Dick:….

Jason:….

Tim:….

Dick: okay so was anyone gonna tell me Bruce is dating Joe Chills daughter or was I supposed to figure that out by myself.

Jason: HES WHAT

Tim:???????

Damian: I think I just threw up in my mouth

Cass: …is this that Freud guy you were telling me about?

Steph: somehow worse? I think?

Jason: Idk where does dating the daughter of your parents murderer fall on the Oedipus scale of morality?

Tim: more importantly where did you find out this information?

Damian: please tell me it’s a tabloid so I can bleach my brain of this conversation.

Dick: Babs tipped me off that something was up and I stalked em for a week

Tim: Ah classic

Jason: you really have one trick Grayson

Dick: Hey! No I do infiltrations, Tim and Cass are the stalker duo

Cass: *nods*

Jason: so… Bruce is actually dating the kid of the guy who offed mama and papa Wayne. That’s cold. I’m a little impressed actually.

Tim: Clark was RIGHT THERE

Dick: so was Selina

Steph: we could’ve had a Step wonder mom

Cass: you’re not adopted

Steph: is Wonder Woman was in this family I’d marry into it

Tim: *nods solemnly* Bernard would understand

Jason: Talia was there

Damian: that might be worse actually

Tim: nothing is worse than this

Dick: actually I might agree with Damian

Dick: anyway zatanna

Jason: didn’t you date her

Dick: that’s another timeline ignore it

Tim: Constantine

Damian: Dent

Dick: I’d take viki vale over this

Jason: same

Dick:…hey Duke can see into other realities right

Jason: depends on the writer..

Dick: when does he get back from his families

Tim: he stops by for 45 mins to steal some pastries and check his gear before patrol

Dick: … wanna see if we can get him to look into other realities and see the worst person Bruce has dated

Jason: yes

Tim: yes

Damian: no

Cass: yes

Steph: yes

Dick: you’re outvoted Damian I’ll see all of you tomorrow at the cave bright eyed and bushy tailed!

Dick Grayson being a fox in beast world is wrong

(Working with actual animals instead of the furry ones in the comic bc I can)

I disagree okay

Dick Grayson is 1000% a massive dog that’s like 99% wolf dna 1% dog dna. Massive terrifying ass canines with the slightly slanted reflective wolf eyes that look like satan himself came down and designed the Grimm okay. He also is the massive dog that behaves like he’s a Pomi sized puppy stereotype

My evidence for this

- have you ever seen big dogs jump 10 feet in the air to go cuddle their owners. Dick 100% does the big dog defying gravity for sake of human affection and also too see if can vibes big dogs exude

- he is very very sweet but also if he crashes out he’ll rip you esophagus out with his teeth (90s nightwing)

- he absolutely scruffs cat!Damian with his teeth

Follow up to this:

Tim is a Robin

Damian regularly tries to eat this Tim

Steph is 100% a Goldie (best girl)

Jason is the chihuahua that thinks a big dog as Robin

Jason RH is a rottie

Cass is a lil friendly church mouse (silent, adorable, can bring down the plague) or a rlly pretty rainbow snake your choice

Babs is a cat bc she and cats both sleep as close as humanly possible to computers

Now some of you might be like “Bruce is a bat, Bruce is a Great Dane” wrong

Bruce has been herding around the league and his collection of tiny bird themed children that’s a whole as Shepards dog

Forever trapped in each others orbits but gravity keeps us away (DickRoy)

Immediately followed by

Dick Grayson x anyone remotely morally ambiguous (I see u tiger, JGJ, Kori, Helena, Joey I see you and I love you)

Jason Todd x completely normal civilians (bc it would be so funny)

Or

Jason Todd x women that can kill him (asphyxiation via thighs or actually will shoot him)

Put Tim in a throuple as long as Kon is there (Bernard or Bart is ur choice)

Damian must follow his fathers footsteps and date dangerous women I fear (or a Superman what who said that)

And Stephanie brown should date me actually so no one

Okay listen I adore batsibling content in fanon but each group gets a different type

Gossipy more like friends 80% of the time. will shit talk each other but if anyone says shit they’re getting decked. It’s fluffy but in the “you know I love you right?” Is said really awkwardly after the other sibling is surprised you’re on their side way Jay and Dick

Sweet and fluffy I don’t like angst in this at all give me a very healthy very wholesome soft relationship that’s just good all the way through Tim and Dick

So sweet it hurts tooth rotting fluff needs the same taste as cotton candy with the weight of a brick Dick and Damian

Bratty younger sibling and anger issues older sibling get into fist fight and are hugging 30 secs later. Will punch each other in the face and then defend the other one against their parents without blinking. Damian and Steph

Very very awkward affection like I love you and would die for you but we’ve had like 3 whole conversations. Damian and Jason (on Jason’s end Damian’s a lil shit)

You know when your little sibling is finally no longer insufferable and you can finally chill together at family events and you’re like. Fuck wait you’re growing up stop that’s illegal. Damian and Tim

“I broke your laptop”

“Yeah well I put nair in your shampoo”

“I should’ve killed you at the tower”

“Don’t be a lil bitch bc you couldn’t handle the gig”

Jason and Tim

Supportive big brother who brags about his sisters achievements while being a lil worried she’ll beat him and no one will ever need him again and baby sister who tries so hard and does so well and hopes she’s living up to their expectations (dick and cass)

I’m friends with your ex now and so sometimes I’ll bring it up to fuck with you bc I think it’s funny energy like Steph tells Cass about what Tim has done during their relationship and Cass who loves Tim but also women has to affectionately beat him up now (Tim and Cass)

Cass and Damian? I don’t think I’ve ever seen these too interact in a fic where Cass can speak actually…. Fuck we need more baby Assassins squared content in this fandom

Let us commiserate on the absolute cringe of everyone else here without acknowledging we are just as bad (dick and Steph)

Cass doesn’t like Jason and so I will leave them out

Remember these aren’t their canon relationships these are just what I like to read in fanon (inspired by their canon relationships in most cases but also fully canon with dick and Tim we ignore any authors who say otherwise my babies)

Bats on Christmas (where are they?)

Dick: with the titans, has been pleasantly buzzed since 8 am. Phone has been off since midnight. Ate his weight in Christmas dinner and candy. Will meet each of his siblings one on one every day after (Jason and him get shitfaced on new years) but currently his head is on Donna’s lap and his legs are on Roy’s and he’s in a constant state of almost sleepy bliss (no one is dead shush)

Jason: binging Xmas movies him and mom used to watch at his apartment. Alfred sent him a full spread (listen in my country we do turkey and fix ins for Xmas idk what Americans do on Xmas) and he’s just been enjoying a quiet day in a nice apartment (bc I refuse to acknowledge or accept anyone being ok with Jay not having a nice warm apartment. If Dick Gave him a safe house he bought with mob money or he actually kept his drug lord money idc he has a very pretty apartment idcidc)

Tim: with Steph and Bernard, they’re shit talking him to bond, him and dick will meet and exchange presents the day after Xmas and he’s panicking bc he completely forgot to buy dick a gift so the three of them are at the mall while Tim gets increasingly worried

Damian: mad he’s not with Dick, at the Kent’s instead. Got the most presents bc all his siblings gave him stuff and both Dick and Bruce bought way too much stuff

Bruce: doesn’t do anything for Xmas and hasn’t since Jason died. His mom was Jewish so until the kids it just wasn’t a good time for him (for obvious reasons) and now his kids don’t really come home so he had a very peaceful night in and unlike literally any other time Christmas is surprisingly quiet in Gotham.

Steph: has collected a bunch of embarrassing Tim photos and is showing and telling Bernard info Tim wouldn’t let be known on his death bed while Tim is panicking over dicks gift. She spent Xmas eve with her mom so now she’s just chilling bc she already bought Dick, Cass, Damian and Tim gifts so she’s safe.

Cass: with babs since her dad has to work they’re having a very small and quaint Xmas together but it’s nice and them

Alfred: actually goes to mass

I love those incorrect Wayne family posts where a baby bat (usually dick) calls Bruce to be like … so the house is on fire….

But what’s infinitely funnier

Is the fact that

Dicks house blew up, the circus was burned down, everyone he so much as brushed shoulders with on the street was being gunned down, his last link to learning his language lost.

He then finds out all of this happened due to a traffic jam, watched a man die in front of him, had a panic attack on a rooftop, had…stuff that’s less than savory and I will not discuss done to him on said rooftop by a former FBI agent who was sisters with the district attorney.

And he still didnt call Bruce.

Dick Grayson would rather commit suicide via radioactive city than ask Bruce Wayne for a dime.

and the best part is when its not Dick its Tim

the boy who invented a fake uncle so CPS couldn't fuck with him and he didn't wanna ask Bruce to adopt him

Bruce adopted Dick so that Tims fanboy instincts (I got adopted by one direction au except its the last survivor of a niche acrobat troupe you were obsessed with as pre-teen) would override his repulsion at asking Bruce for help.

Like Tim calls Dick for help with casework and goes "only bruce is free... guess ill just die then lol"

and when Dick needs help... he calls superman (not bruce) or the titans (who hate bruce) or he also goes "well Ive had a good run let me see if I can mask this attempt on my life as a last bid at heroics"

Bruce would cry tears of pure joy if Dick or Tim called him for help with anything ever. (after testing to see if the weren't replaced by clones and also half expecting this to be a case of being trapped in a dreamworld)

like the rest of the kids also wouldn't call Bruce but these two are the ones who like bruce (mostly in Tims case.... Occasionally in Dicks but yeah)

there's Cass but she fought Wonder Woman and broke into stephs, babs, dicks and Bruces places for shits and giggles she's not asking anyone for shit.

I’m fighting off Demons (an unknown virus) so here are the Bats various home remedies/ how they behave when ill

Bruce: can’t stop won’t stop moving if I die I die ig? Illness is a mindset for himself. For his kids? Give him 3 hours he’s synthesizing a cure his babies will never be sick in his presence how dare you.

Dick: makes the most bomb lentil soup and also has about 90 million metric tons of ginger tea with lemon and honey. He saved a beekeeper early on as nightwing so he gets really high quality very nice ethically sourced honey that all the Batkids keep trying to steal. He does the R&R except he’s an acrobat so R&R is doing paperwork while on coms

Jason: Lazarus pit + a childhood running around in very unsanitary environments means he’s never sick. But when he is he always just assumes this is the end for him and he won’t wake up the next day bc he everything hurts. (He has literally been ill like 4 times in his life he doesn’t know what to do here) so he just kinda finds a corner to die in like your elderly pet and he wakes up fine after a few hours and he’s always surprised.

Cass: has never been sick will never be sick

Steph: Steph is on top of her shit, she has a whole ass gallon of soup delivered, pre portioned and frozen in microwave safe containers. She also has a drawer of various vitamins, cough drops and syrups. She doesn’t have time to lay around so she tries everything to get up and at em as quick as possible. Sadly due to this she ends up with like a really weak residual cough for a few weeks even if she got 99% better after 5 days

Tim: L+ ratio + no spleen + has to be put in a sterilized room for observation if he so much as coughs

Damian: steals Dicks lentil soup, Steph’s vitamin gummies and cuddles with his pets if he knows illness wont transmit to pets. Or if he’s feeling really bad he gets very cuddly with his brothers but only Dick and Jason because they both run very warm and he must steal the warm. But also he rlly only goes to Jason when he’s delirious and in pain because he just doesn’t want the teasing. Bruce he’s a sick Damian wrapped up in a bunch of blankets with his arms around dicks neck sleeping peacefully and gets violently Jealous.

Duke: goes to doctor, takes his meds, it’s the only thing he’s normal about. His parents taught him well he’s not gonna ignore that.

In honor of thanksgiving (which is where you give people thank you notes? Idk I’m not American)

What each Batkid is thankful for this year

Dick: Donna Troy being alive and the fact that Bruce was mind controlled and Dick got to punch him

Jason: saw Dick punch Batman

Tim: his very heathy, very cute relationship

Damian: he finally got to replace all the colors on the Robin suit, black, gray and orange it is!

Steph: saw Dick punch Batman

Cass: fought wonder woman

Duke: his mom isn’t insane anymore

Or

Dick: punched Bruce

Jay: saw Dick punch Bruce

Tim: Recorded it

Damian: pretended he didn’t see it

Steph: posted video on clock app and made t-shirts

Cass: did not like Dick punching Bruce

Duke: reposted Steph’s TikTok

Broke: everyone fights over whose Batman’s favorite

Woke: everyone fights over whose Dicks favorite bc Dick isn’t an emotionally stunted loser (I shit talk Bruce so much but I love him, he’s just also a loser) and trying to get in the bats favor is like trying to catch sand in a sieve

————

Damian: obviously I’m Graysons favorite I was his Robin

Tim: dude I was the first Robin he trained and we still talk every day I am 100% the favorite

Steph: fuck you! You disappeared off the the face of the earth when he was Batman I was actually here I’m 100% the favorite everyone knows Wing loves me.

Jason: Dick willingly went to Gotham to spend time with me even when he was mad at Bruce. Has Dick ever been in Gotham when he was mad at Bruce for you guys? No? Didn’t think so?

Damian: ….

Steph:…

Tim: that’s because you sucked so much he thought you’d get blown up trying to have to bludhaven.

Jason: oi! Low blow, you can’t use a man’s death against him

Damian: shut up we’ve all died before

Steph: you literally said you were allowed to break Tim’s laptop bc you died b4

Jason: yeah it’s MY DEATH I can use it how I want

Tim: we really gonna call your 14yr old 4’7 self a man?

Cass: he helped me train when B rejected me I’m the favorite

Tim: you can’t be Dicks favorite you’re already Bab’s favorite those are the only 2 likable older members of the family. (They’ve decided Alfred doesn’t count since he’s legally not allowed to have favorites)

Dick: Duke is my favorite

Damian: what?

Tim: how?

Jason: this shit is rigged

Steph: What?? You barely spend time with him?

Duke who has been eating popcorn quietly this whole time:???

Dick: he doesnt steal my suit and murder people

Jason: …

Dick: or tell his friends I threatened to send him to Arkham when I told him to get therapy

Tim:…

Dick: or break into my apartment at 3am because he can’t communicate with his father

Damian:…

Dick: or make me believe he flatlined on the operating table

Steph: …

Dick: or tell me he can’t meet up for a bust because he’s too busy fighting Wonder Woman a hero we work with over text with no context and then go AWOL for 5 days

Cass:…

Dick: or overload his plate with 50 million things I will have to come in and help with

Everyone:

Steph: he started a cult tho??

Dick: was it before or after he was fostered bc if it was before it’s. Not. My. Problem.

Duke: I’m the favorite???

Dick: also I feel like if I died you’re the most likely to take over my duties and not go on a quest for vengeance or try to clone me or put me in the Lazarus pit.

Jason: ID NEVER PUT you in the Lazarus pit…. No comment on the rest tho.

Tim: ditto

Damian: meh you are superior to Todd and he’s relatively functional post the pit I don’t see the issue here.

Steph raising hand: I wouldn’t-

Dick: or help TIM do it

Steph lowering hand:

Dick: plus you have a parent so I don’t have to do 80% of the child rearing while giving Bruce credit

Duke still a little star stuck bc that’s nightwing: IM THE FAVORITE.

Stephanie brown 🤝 Dick Grayson

Being the only likable bats

Every single member of the Batfamily lies about their taste in music

Damian will claim that he only listens to classical music and that everything else is beneath him.

Damian will unironically listen to trashy Arab pop and the absolute worst Bollywood songs known to man (Dick introduced him to them and he hates the fact that sometimes he gets Sheila Ki Jawani stuck in his head during missions)

Tim will put on the most ear grating hyper pop you've ever heard and claim with full chest that these is the peak of humanities capabilities with music (Damian, Jason and Steph have all tried to kill him for this take) He will also play stuff like the living tombstones and sing it obnoxiously loud when he's working on the computer.

Tim however loves his 90s grunge and it's all that's playing in his headphones. (think nirvana, pearl Jam, Melvins, Alice in Chains etc) He has tracked down so many shirts and concert posters and watched every bit of content from the older shows.

Jason will claim he only listens to east coast rap, biggie, Nas, Jay etc and maybe some older metal. He will fight you on east vs west coast music, there will be weaponry involved.

Jason likes rap music... he unfortunately prefers west coast rap and has listened to no vaseline like 500 times. He will deny this till the day he dies...again. (Dick knows and threatens to tell Steph)

Steph will steal the aux and play Taylor Swifts greatest hits until one of the Boys threatens mutiny. Every single one of the bats has had style stuck in their heads during a stakeout at least twice. She will claim that the only rap song she can tolerate in Eminem and the 7/11 is Beyoncés best song.

Steph is an underground fan, think the dude selling mixtapes on the subway type shit. She also unlike Jason genuinely loves East Coast Rap music more than anything and knows every single wu-tang clan song by heart, same with Biggie. Not only does she love the music she also spends any free time binging those "history of rap and its consequences" videos and has been a firm believer that P.Diddy had a hand in a lot of the Death row records well...deaths.

Cass, well everyone thinks Cass has really good taste bc its Cass and she has zero flaws (don't @ me) she never takes the aux and will usually listen to her music while she's chilling or doing stretches. None of them have heard or seen a single one of her playlists except Duke.

its all 2010s top 40s pop music and like the trashy kind too, Beauty and the Beat, Kesha, Katy Perry. It's her turning of her brain time and she will be straight vibing to Rude! by magic or Boom Clap or Shower. she has shown this to Duke, smirked and told him that even if he tried to tell anyone they wouldn't believe him.

Duke is the only one who doesn't... lie. He just hides a few things. Lies of omission don't count as lies when the bats will lie to you about what they had for breakfast, while they are visibly eating breakfast. Duke says he listens to everything and he does. Literally everything. His patrol Jam is offensive bc it with start with Norwegian death metal and immediately switches to "like a G6" followed by kendrick Lamar and then descendants Disney channel movie music.

Bruce... Bruce is just weird, everyone asks him and gets a different answer. Bc he doesn't... like music. Like at all. It's all noise, his mother played instruments so he learned like 14 and he hates how they all sound. He just like vague batwings fluttering in dead silence.

Dick Grayson will obnoxiously play top 40 and radio music religiously around the bats. He claims it's the best music for rhythmic acrobatics and trapeze work and that true! Jason hates this kind of music the most, it's formulaic and holds no substance and drives him insane.

But Dick only listens to that music when he's moving, flipping doing high energy stuff. When he just wants to chill? This man has the most depressing music taste you've ever seen. You know that sad song from ur favorite artist that you can't listen to without crying. Yeah that's his bread and butter. Every single song is just flat out tear inducing, some of these bands have like 100 listeners and he is one of them and it's just their saddest song that reads like suicide note. The titans have conducted an intervention bc its just... concerning. He just thinks it's neat!

I'm so sorry, I'm the last person to say something about fandom culture is cringe but having a whole account pretending to be a character is where I draw the line, specially when it's so OOC you know they base it on fanon 😭😭

WE ARE SO BACK

Red Robin (2009) #25

This is actually the reason you two are siblings WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

Hey, we need to talk about the way Batfamily fans write Cass using ASL, because a lot of it is really fucking ableist

But Cass can't speak, of course she needs to sign!

Not true! There is nothing physically wrong with Cass's vocal chords or mouth, there's nothing in her brain stopping her from making sounds, and she is not an elective mute. She actually learns to speak individual words really quickly after she puts herself into an environment where that's a useful skill. Basil teaches her to quote huge chunks of Shakespeare in Nu52, and that's easier for her than forming simple sentences. That would definitely not be the case if she had any physical limitations on her speech.

Cass's disability is that she was not taught any language, and so she is having to grok the entire concept of language from the ground up. Grammar and syntax; tonality; how to combine words to convey more complex ideas; how putting two words next to one another can change their meaning; how to break down a whole idea into the individual parts needed to turn it into words; the fact that people's words might not line up with their tone and body language so you have to pay attention to both; how to tell if someone wants a response or is stating a fact; how to work out meaning from context if a word is new or someone has an unfamiliar accent; how to know if someone is using a new word or if they actually just have an unfamilar accent and all the ways words can be bent and changed before they become something new; the fact that two words can use the same sounds but have the same meaning; the fact that there can be two different words that mean the same thing. This is all stuff she didn't learn as a baby, and not knowing it would be just as much an impediment to learning ASL as learning English (for accent, swap out things like having limited movement in their hands, or having learned slightly different forms of the same sign, using a lot of home-signs etc, it's the same concept in a different medium).

There is no language on earth Cass wouldn't have these problems with. ASL is not any kind of shortcut.

But she reads body language, and ASL is kind of like body language right?

Not true, also pretty abelist! Just as the sounds which make up spoken language are essentially arbitrary (there's no objective reason why the sound "gud" should mean good, English speakers just all agree it does) so most of the signs in ASL are arbitrary! There's no reason for

to mean good. ASL users just all agree that it does. Cass knowing body language would not help her any more with ASL than it would with English, and if anything, it might make it harder, because sign uses the whole body and therefore changes the way people use body language so unless she saw a lot of ASL users as a child (and there's no particular reason to think she did), she would have to adjust what she knows about body language to account for those differences!

But she signs in the comics!

Nope! She uses hand gestures to communicate sometimes, but that's not signing. Pointing at food and miming eating to convey hunger is not sign. Pretending to punch someone and pulling it at the last second to convey you could hurt them but won't (Cass's actual first communication with Bruce in the comics) isn't signing. I've done the point and mime thing in countries where I didn't speak the language, that does not mean I knew that country's native sign language!

But she learns ballet, that's like a physical language, so sign is the same thing!

Nope! Also low key kinda abelist. Dance is a method of communication, but it isn't a full language. There's almost no grammar or sentence structure, the vocabulary is extremely limited, and also you can just make up new dance moves or use moves from different styles of dance together and still convey your meaning (you cannot just make random gestures or use BSL and expect ASL users to understand you, because they're full complex languages). Cass vibes with dance pretty hard, but that's precisely because it isn't a language, it doesn't require any of the skills she struggles with in order to communicate emotion.

But ASL isn't like a real language, it's not as complex or nuanced as spoken English so it would be easier for her to learn

That is so fucking gross I don't even want to have this conversation with you. Go and sit in the timeout box and think about what you've just said, and then commit to doing better.

But I just think that once she learned it, she'd like using ASL because [it's very expressive/she's used to her world being very quiet/she can use it on stealth missions more easily/etc]

Valid, understandable, have a lovely day

But I'm writing an AU were she uses ASL because her backstory is too comic-book-y to fit in no-capes AUs but I didn't want to erase her communication difficulties so I've written her as having a different disability

Cool. Send me a link when you're done.

But what if I write her using makatong?

(For context, makatong is a form of sign developed for people who have intellectual or phsyical disabilities that affect language use, which uses more descriptive signs which require less precise hand possitioning than other sign languages, and which has very simple grammar, making it easier to learn than ASL). Yes this would be easier for her, because it's intended for people with similar difficulties to hers, but since her difficulties stem purely from a lack of experience which can be (and are, in canon) overcome with practise, it would be kind of needlessly limiting compared to her just starting out with very simple spoken language, and wouldn't give her as many chances to develop those language learning skills. Makatong is also not mutually intelligable with any other sign language, so she couldn't easily transition from that to ASL once she got used to signing, she'd have to start learning it from scratch.

But I HC her as deaf

There is 0 comics evidence to support that, but it's a headcanon, so who cares. You do you. Have fun.

But learning sign language would be better than learning to speak anyway because it's a universal language!

That is not even slightly how it work. Go read the wikipedia article on sign languages around the world or something. Do some research.

TL:DR; Cass does not use ASL in the comics, and nothing about her disability or sign languages in general would make learning ASL easier or more convinent for her than spoken English. That does't mean writing her signing is inherently bad, but you should examine your reasons for doing it to ensure you're not just perpetuating ableist stereotypes about the language.

Obsidian