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Satire - Blog Posts
“The average US president has been charged with 1.54 felonies” factoid isn’t true. The average US President has been charged with 0 felonies. Donald trump, who has been charged with 71, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted
i hate this stupid oc i made its like a fucking mary sue oc cunt ass BITCH fucking ANIMATION MEME LOOKIN ASS WHORE!!!
Being desirharmful is so cringe. Yeah who's the desirharmed to my desirharmful. That's corny and embarassing I don't know how people say that unironically
Petelgeuse
new to posting hope you like my fan art <3
R.I.P. Albert Camus, you would have loved South Park.
I will not elaborate
These were coveted precious artifacts for us kids; they were talismans in the truest sense like the root ancient Greek verb TELEIN, "to initiate into the mysteries." They validated and confirmed some of the hollow absurdity, stale lies, and frayed seams we were starting to notice about the adult world.
So we mounted them everywhere, carving our territory with heiroglyphs. We pasted Wacky Pack stickers where we'd always see them: on school books, desks, nights side tables, lamps, walls next to our beds. They served as wards that would stay blindness and ignorance from descending on us, save us from becoming like the sullen violent adults that surrounded us. The Storied stickers were a comfort, but also like a rallying call of transgression that poked the fake world in its eye.
We're a whole generation raised simultaneously under two religions: Consumerism and Anti-Consumerism. Wacky Pack and their spiritual cousin, Mad Magazine both in their own way, stood shoulder to shoulder with the stories of Jack London, John Fitzgerald, Roald Dahl and Mark Twain, that didn't talk down to us like we were imbeciles.
They felt special, like a secret visual language, intended for us, acknowledging our minds.
WACKY PACK WHIZ BANG
VISIONS OF VINTAGE WACKINESS
Topps Wacky Packages Series 16
Circa 1976
the day today and brass eye are so brilliant, but i don't think we'll ever get anything like them again... cherish them
People who deserve to die
People who puts pineapple on pizza
People unwilling to admit that dr. Pepper is better than both coke and pepsi
People who think Boston pizza, chiptole, and Denny's can be considered food.
People who wear crocs.
People who say their favourite colour is grey. Grey is a shade not a colour.
People who have posted on tumblr
People who share dumb Facebook memes.
People who think the accordion is a dumb instrument
People who think becoming a SoundCloud rapper is a good career choice
People who make terrible dance/electronic remixes for songs where it doesn't make sense.
People who put soya sauce on tacos
People who say they can see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch because I know you're lying.
People who are unwillingly to admit that Daddy Daycare is the greatest film of all time
no >:3
Humans Are Crazy
Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.
Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?
Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.
Alien: What??
Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.
Alien: wHAT?!
Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.
Alien: WHaT ?!?!
Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.
Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.
Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.
EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…
Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*
Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf
Edit 4: STOP REBLOGING THISSSSSS
Haha spghetti I like mine with noodles
and that SPECIFICALLY includes @cinnamonrollorder and @mamahersh
What if the cure for Hart was available all along but Faker was just an avid anti-vaxxer which drove him to look for cures in other dimensions, but after realizing all the harm he had caused he changed his mindset and accepted modern medicine.
I have a mega exam in 2 days and here I am. Thinking to write fanfiction and original satire.
I played the Bachelorette Simulator with Lumine and all the genshin men (+ Teppi and Dain). Here are my favorite moments.
P.s. This is all in good fun and not meant to start anything!
1. What Grandma Bennett??
2. Wanderer is just cannon 💅
1. That is so cannon for Itto, he would instantly get in trouble with the producers
2. Albedo, you just got here
3. Uhm, what "eyes" Kaeya
1. "Yeah, I live with Alhaitham..."
2. Me too Lumine, that'd get me
1. ME TOO LUMINE
2. Freminet did not do this of his own free will
The flirts are on a roll, the rizzlers
Omg! Leave that boy alone Sethos!
LMAO! OKAY?! Tbh, Razor would eat the salam
JUST ONE CHANCE NEUVILLETTE PLSSSS
This is revenge Sethos...
Itto, how did you get here? Sneaky Victory
Remember this is all in good fun and shouldn't be taken too seriously!
ami the only one who thinks it would be nice if my bones just detach for a few seconds like when a skeleton gets comically spooked
