Unrequited Crush - Blog Posts

𝐊𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐀

rin itoshi only favoured a few things in his life. that is; football and being the best. he never fancied studying or being popular. not to say that he wasn't either of those things! some might say he was quite the opposite. even with all the effort he put into being the best striker, he still found time to study and take notes and go to class. he wasn't a loner either. he was actually quite well known around campus for how skilled he was with a ball and his striking good looks. yup! stoic front and all, rin was the talk of the campus and piles of love letters formed hills and mountains in his locker and confessions rolled off the tongues of passersby. not that he cared for that, anyway.

he cared for football, being the best, and one more thing. something that he'd never verbally confess but when he wasn't training profusely or studying his hardest for an upcoming exam, he allowed his mind to wander to you and what you were doing. if you were studying as well or if you had your nose deep in this week's novel. he sometimes wondered if you somehow thought about him too, as silly as the thought was to him. he could feel his heart run laps in his chest when you'd walk past him in the hallways or how the hairs that ran along his forearms would raise when he heard you smoothly ask a question during classes. 

sometimes, if his teammates were lucky, rin would ask them what they thought of you but their answers were all unsatisfactory to him. "y/n? she's pretty cute." some would say. or "yeah, she's nice, why?" he never understood how you could be "just nice" to anyone when to him, your beauty exceeded his understanding. not just your physical beauty, but the way you treated others. how you'd offer to help teachers who struggled to carry various school equipment or how you'd tutor the other jocks at school. it all forced him to admire you more. that's what he referred to it as, anyway. that squeeze that he'd feel in his chest when he saw you speaking so comfortably with your other classmates or how upset he'd feel when he overheard you speaking to your friends about the date you went on last Friday (they never ended well) were all labelled as pure admiration. 

I can call It love but then love may feel insecure

Don't stab me in the back. Stab me in the front so I can hug you as I draw my last Breath.

You are my most painful past that i don't want to change.

My every nothing is you. My everything is us

i just want you to hold me in your arms

just once

ALL OUT OF LUCK

pairing. k. bakugou x reader

synopsis. you had the biggest, fattest crush on bakugou katsuki in high school, which granted you weird looks and judgment from those who found out, because why, when you could fawn over prince-like todoroki or manly kirishima instead? fast forward to 10 years later, though, and now the joke’s on them, because #2 pro-hero dynamight just got dubbed the hottest bachelor of the year. but that doesn’t matter, because you’re over him now. you’ve been over him, ever since that butchered attempt at confessing where he dismissed you as a gen ed extra before you could even get the words out. so why, all of a sudden—and an entire decade later—do you have to work with him on a top-secret mission?

status. ongoing!

working tags. fem!reader, pro-hero!katsuki, aged-up (26), a lot of cussing (bkg-typical), several mentions of bullying & discrimination (quirk supremacy), reader has a quirk :0, reader is alluded to being smaller than bkg, canon-typical violence, nsfw themes (is there gonna be eventual smut? we shall see)

links. ao3 (coming soon)

꩜ .ᐟ chapter one

꩜ .ᐟ chapter two

꩜ .ᐟ chapter three

꩜ .ᐟ chapter four

꩜ .ᐟ chapter five

꩜ .ᐟ chapter six

꩜ .ᐟ chapter seven

꩜ .ᐟ chapter eight

꩜ .ᐟ chapter nine

「 CRY FOR ME 」 ♡ MASTERLIST

PAIRING : Suna Rintarō x Reader. Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader.

GENRE : Angst.

TAGS/WARNINGS : NSFW. Fake Dating. Unrequited Love. Profanity. Enemies (not really) to Lovers. Friends with Benefits. Not very canon compliant.

SYNOPSIS : You have been in love with your best friend Sakusa Kiyoomi for as long as you can remember. The problem? He is in love with somebody else. And for you to snag even the tiniest bit of his affections, it seems like you would willingly go through drastic measures.. Even if it means teaming up with his lifelong rival, Suna Rintarō

TAGLIST : CLOSED

PLAYLIST + sunayn texts + sunayn crumbs

CHAPTERS

PROLOGUE

ACT I – PARTNER

ACT II – PLAYING WITH FIRE

ACT III – BLUR

ACT IV – LET'S NOT FALL IN LOVE

ACT V – SAFETY NET

ACT VI – LIE TO ME

ACT VII – TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE

ACT VIII – ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY.

ACT IX – ALWAYS

ACT X – BITTER LOVE

ACT XI – AFTERGLOW

THE FINAL ACT – CRY FOR ME

EPILOGUE

Have you ever gotten over a crush in one day? It has happened to me recently. I liked this girl sooo much, dreamt about dating her. When we were out in the city and she would touch my knee or put her head on my shoulder, I felt this physical need to touch her and kiss her... But she's straight, and although I want her not to be, she doesn't have feelings for me. She likes me as a friend quite a lot, and a lot of the stuff she's said and done can fool a desperate queer girl like me, but..

And when I finally accepted that I just felt... That I don't have a crush on her anymore. Like, I completely lost that feeling and I can just enjoy her company and be myself around her without losing my head.

P. S. NOW I WORRY THAT MAYBE I JUST MADE EVERYTHING UP AND I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A CRUSH ON HER i hate myself.

the time he broke me

when he said this  “I'm sorry but I honestly never had feelings for you, it isn't even about the studies I just haven't been interested in you.” i gave up hopes. Later on when he said she’s an interesting person i thought this might the year i get together with him but he let his insecurities get better of him and said it would never work. And during ends of october he starts dating my friend. Didn’t my feeling matter?? was i not enough? didn’t i made u feel good about yourself? didn’t we argue for hours for how beautiful you are when you disagreed on that, was i just a desperate girl for you? the one time i take liking to a guy one time and this happens , i never believed in this stuff but you made was this your revenge on me? seeing you and her making me feel more worthless is that what you wanted? whatever we had did it never matter in your life...

I loved to write for you, I used to send you postcards, And I absolutely liked it so muchhhh. Then you told me to stop. Why do I love you and hate you

i bury words beneath my tongue

like we bury people once they're gone,

i worry that your mouth might

unearth them with a kiss

but sometimes i just wonder

what you hide behind your lips.

i want to tell you i love you

like a song completely new,

i don't want to sound

like some cover,

a reprise without the truth.

my love speaks in French,

but you only know English,

my love sounds like nonsense

and i don't think that you're fluent.

my love sounds like a splutter,

when it's really a language to learn;

it should resound like a symphony,

a tumbling tongue and a stutter

is not what you deserve.

i don’t want to ever let go.. even if it means destroying my heart in the process.

I really don’t think there’ll ever be another one like you

-and if there is, god help my heart

im probably just going to spam love poetry and quotes tonight. yeah.

“You broke my heart without even knowing it.”

bb noooo

"i look rlly ugly rn icel"

no u dont ily ur so pretty all the timeeeee

literally shes so pretty

shes basically the sun and the moon and the stars. she shines so brightly i cant even look at her (or i'll go red)

shes amazing

she is disgusting

ive watched a video of her drinking literal piss

when i confessed to my friends they told me that in middle school she would write things on the walls in shit

ive seen her lick the ground

i love her

everything she does is magic and nobody can convince me otherwise

she is awful

i hate her.

The most toughest part in any relation is give up,giving up on that person you once gave the world to. You stop giving explanation, you stop expecting things and even though you want to you just stop yourself from going near that person because you know doesn't matter how much you love them or how many times you forgive them, when you will leave because of the pain they cause you they will not even stop you. Their's some silence in the conversation and some words behind the silence which you both don't listen to anymore or don't tend to listen. Sometimes your heart wants to give them the explanation, wants to tell them each and every thing running through your mind but... But you don't cause you know it will not change a single thing so you backspace the whole paragraph and let them be in peace and that's my friend is the most broken part.

"You lead me on. Through every word, every single text, you romanticized the idea of our friendship. You slowly gained my trust even after years of me not trusting people. I even said I'd take a bullet for you. You told me you'd stay, unlike the others. You told me you'd stay. You told me you'd stay. And I believed you.

And then you left.

Breaking every word that you ever said to me."

- Dreaming of Wolves // Spilled

I don't have a cool or interesting post today. Highschool sucks. I have no one. I'm so incredibly lonely it's not even funny. I got my heart broken for the 2nd time by the same person. It feels like the one millionth time. My heart aches. My eyes want to cry, but nothing will come out. The thing is, it's not his fault either. Maybe I just deserve it. Everything. I'm sorry self. I told you I would be better. But the crying won't stop. I'm sorry. When will this go away? When can I feel like me again? I don't even know who I am anymore. This isn't for attention. This is for myself. I tried comforting me, but instead, I'm falling apart.

This is my theme for today;

"She's going to sit alone. Right at that same table where she built it all. Her happiness, her courage, her perseverance, but most importantly, where she met all of her friends. Now it's all crumbling down to her fingertips. She closes her eyes and tries to dream herself away into a reality where all of that still exsists, but she can't. It's all blank without the real thing... Without the real them. Complete nothingness. She can't even remember their voices. Everything is fading away from her. And everytime, she blames herself for something that she couldn't control. They've all left now; her friends. The girl lifts her head and stares at them. They're all happy. They all prance around, discussing random topics she used to talk about with them all of the time. She even sees her crush holding hands with her best friend. They don't even notice her. All of them go sit at their new table, completely forgetting about what once was. She weakly smiled as tears fell down her cheeks. Her heart ached for them. For someone. But she had no one. She put her head back down and waited for an escape. She pulled her sketchbook and poetry journal closer to her. They may only be objects, but they are all she has now. She pours her heart out crying. She couldn't hold it in any longer. Her fears were reality, and she somehow had to stay strong in this. But how could she stay strong when she wasn't going to be remembered by any of them? Was it all pointless to make memories in the first place? She just wanted to disappear. She then heard whispers all around her. It sounded like her friends, but that couldn't be. She lifted her head up and rubbed her eyes. A boy with a pretend smile and a sympathetic gaze pulled me into a hug.

"You're going to be okay, we're all going to be okay. I promise."

She cried into his chest until they all gathered around her and tackled her into a group hug.

Her friends.

They were here.

"I'm sorry for the mess I've created," She shyly whispered, "haven't you forgotten me, yet? I would've."

"How could we forget about you?" A raven haired boy asked, "We've been right here the whole time."

- Dreaming of Wolves//Vent

(I just... Sobbed while writing this.)

i swear everything that i see is something i don't wanna see but need to

Can I be honest with you?

I seriously went to other people to ask how I should approach you. I don’t even know who I fucking am anymore. I’ve always been a “talk about it” or “if you wanna know, ask” kind of person. Blunt. Straight. To the point. But I’ve been so scared I might be pushing you away, so petrified by the idea that I might come on too strong, that I started playing all these silly little games. I fucking hate staring at my phone wanting nothing more than to talk to you, but holding back because “it hasn’t been a whole day yet” or because I’m “waiting for you to text first.” Fuck. That. I like you; maybe a little more than I’d like to admit. I want to go out and experience new things with you. See you smile and laugh while we make stupid little jokes to each other. I want to learn what makes you tick. What your deepest fears are. What your biggest passions are. I want to prove to you that you mean more to me than just some repository for attention. If that scares you away, then fine. If you don’t feel comfortable with that yet, that’s okay. I can’t force you to like me. But at least I’ll be able to sleep at night knowing that I put my best foot forward. That I wore my heart on my sleeve, and no one had to guess how I feel. I’m done playing these stupid fucking games.

(J)

I f*cked up

So this is a vent lmao. I made a bet with a friend that if she could date someone in the next week I would confess to my crush. Info abt her: She’s in my year, and I thought she was straight but has apparently dated girls so idk. She’s a popular girl tho. My friend, of whom I made the bet with, had told me previously that she was straight so I was like “okay then we go to an all girls school so go off” and then, RIGHT AFTER I AGREE TO THE BET, SHE TELLS ME THAT SHE AND MY BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. ARE DATING. wtf. So now I have to confess to a girl who I cant even TALK to and who is in my core and tute (Cores are basically the people you share English, HASS, RAPS and PE with, and tute is my schools version of homeroom. I’m Aussie btw). So yeah imma have to see her every day for the remainder of HS and am meant to confess? What?? Do I do????

It's killing me how I love him so much yet I can't even talk with him properly.

Someone Like You by Adele literally describes it. I know it’s impossible for us to happen but maybe one day I’ll find someone like him closer to my age.

This remembers me of him....

You know what sucks? Not only do I constantly want to see you and hug you and talk to you, I constantly want to talk about you to whoever will listen. I want to talk about how I miss you and want to see you. I want to ask people how you’re doing and what you’re up to. It sucks and I hate it.

What made you guys first read Harry Potter?

I first read it because a girl I liked was a fan and I wanted to impress her 🙃 didn’t work, but now I’m stuck in this fandom heh

The "fat funny friend" : Maxine

My fav ❤️

I’m just gonna write everything I have about her character.

She’s Lucy’s (perfect girl) best friend

The two of them knew each other since they were babies. They are close like sisters.

Maxine have siblings, a big sister and a big brother but she’s not close to them at all.

She fell for Duncan (jock boy) the moment she saw her. At the time she wasn’t really self conscious about her appearance. She grew up mostly ignored by her family but close to Lucy and her parents.

When Duncan and Elias (sunny guy) began pursuing Lucy the four of them started hanging out together.

At this time Maxine was naive and in love. She had talked with Lucy about her crush on Duncan when they were talking about their crushes.

At this point Lucy wasn’t really sure of her feelings for Elias... or at least she wasn’t ready to say it out loud.

From the girls point of view, Lucy was coming along to hang out with Elias when Duncan and Maxine were spending time together

Of course Maxine would think that Duncan liked her. They looked at each other... well Maxine looked at Duncan... and Duncan looked at Lucy, but Maxine didn’t know that.

Duncan was being nice to her and paying some kind of attention to her. He must have had some feelings for her...

For the first few weeks the four of them went on dates where Maxine would try to spend time alone with Duncan while he would try to spend time with Lucy instead

She thought he was shy... even tho he had a teputation of being a big flirt but she thought that it was different with her because he really liked her

She finally got it when after a day where Duncan was particularly moody, she devided to surprise him after his training session

What she truly found out was that Duncan was getting sick of Elias monopolizing Lucy’s attention

He wanted to spend time with her not with her fat friend...

Maxine went back home on her own. she usually drive back with Lucy and her parents but right now she needed to be alone

... plus her father was about to get home from his buisness trip. She wanted to talk to him. He was always there to listen to her problem...

Except this time he didn’t came back and her outlook of life will change after that

Some precision, her father is not dead he just left her family. It’s important to know that even tho she was kind of neglected by her mother at the time before that, she didn’t have any issue with her appearance. But combining hearing your crush tell his friend that he’s tired of hanging out with you and your father leaving your mother for another woman (especialy if you look a lot like your mother), it can lower your perception of yourself.

I might do another post detailing the different relationships between the 4 of them and how they work.

Either fictional boys should come alive and love me back or should stop making me fall for them.