This Hit Me So Hard.

Of all the traits I share with my cat, the one I find the most hilarious, because it’s unnervingly close, is the fact that he and I don’t like drinking plain water.

We prefer our water to be flavored.

Yes, he prefers his to be flavored with salmon and other ocean fish while I go for a neon syrup that makes mine taste like a de-fizzed orange cream soda, but that’s merely a minor personal preference between sweet and savory.

Some of My Favorite Autistic (or ASD coded) Characters : Girls

Mirabel Madrigal - Encanto (2021)

Parker - Leverage (2008)

Webbigail "Webby" Vanderquack - Ducktales (2017)

Kaywinnet Lee "Kaylee" Frye - Firefly (2002)

Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan, Ph.D. - Bones (2005)

Peridot - Steven Universe (2013)

Lilo - Lilo and Stitch (2002)

Entrapta - She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)

Rosa Díaz - Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013)

Bella Brown - This Beautiful Fantastic (2016)

Princess Luna - My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (2010)

Lunella Lafayette aka Moon Girl - Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur (2023)

Yor Forger - Spy x Family (2019)

Maomao - The Apothecary Diaries (2011)

Marcy Wu - Amphibia (2019)

Elle Woods - Legally Blonde (2001)

Things Fundamentalism Robbed Me Of:

Growing up in a radically conservative Christian household, there were a lot of things that weren’t allowed. It wasn’t until after leaving the “faith”, and then taking time to fully deconstruct things, that I realized just how negatively it affected me.

Part 1: Special Interests

I’m autistic. And part of my autism is having special interests (that I obsess over to a degree that most neurotypical people think is ridiculous). But for me, my special interests bring me such joy and excitement and pleasure in my life. A lot of the time they’re what helps me get through a tough day (and quite frankly, a tough world for me to live in).

When I discovered anime and manga, it was like cotton candy for me. The art styles, the animation techniques, the manga layouts, the characters, the vast array of generes, the easy to understand emotions portrayed - it was like this entire type of media had been designed just for me.

But one look at it, and my mom forbid me from watching and reading any of it. Because it was too “demonic” or “sexual” (EX. Inuyasha-taking major inspiration from Japanese mythology. Sailor Moon-for showing off too much skin). Basically, it wasn’t Christian, and thus, sinful.

Part 2: Body Image

Another special interest of mine is fashion/costume design. Growing up, though, it was subjected to strict guidelines. All because I had to make sure I wasn’t causing a “brother in Christ to sin”.

Which, as a person who went from children to adult sizes almost instantaneously, not to mention grew into a curvy girl, made clothes even more of a touchy subject.

All of my outfits had to be inspected by my mom to make sure they weren’t too tight or revealing or even have a print that was too suggestive, before they could be purchased.

Because of this, I was never able to feel pretty. I was never allowed to think of my body as attractive, let alone sexy.

Whenever I designed outfits or costumes in my sketchbooks - using a very curvy model as a way to feel like my body could be beautiful if given the chance - my mom would tell me to “fix” them because they were too sexualized.

Part 3: Cultural Identity

I’m a proud Latina woman. My father and his family immigrated to the USA when he was a kid. Spending time with his side of my family are some of the happiest memories I have.

But because of the radically conservative beliefs of my parents (or maybe just mostly my mom’s, since I can’t recall if my papi ever setting any of this taboos), I wasn’t allowed to celebrate Día de los Muertos.

This may seem like a small thing, like not being allowed to celebrate Halloween (which we weren’t allowed to do either, and for the same reason as Día de Muertos), but when I found out about it as an adult, I was heartbroken that such a beautiful tradition was banned because it was deemed “pagan”.

In Short:

I was robbed of so much because of fundamental christianity.

I can’t help but wonder how my life would have been different if I had been allowed to embrace major aspects of myself: my autism, my body type, my heritage.

Part of me is always going to mourn the years I lost. And I wish, more than anything, that I could go back and tell my younger self - the little girl who lived in fear and was forced to live by beliefs set by privileged white men - that one day, she would be FREE.

What learning to accept and accommodate my autism looks like at the this very moment:

Sitting in an airport bathroom stall (not actually using the toilet) for about 15 minutes to decompress from the flight/preparing to enter the fray once more, and telling myself I have the right to sit here for as long as I need to.

I HAVE THE RIGHT STUPID NT PROGRAMING I WILL SIT HERE AS LONG AS I NEED TO AND NOT FEEL LIKE IM DOING SOMETHING WRONG BY STAYING IN A STALL THIS LONG

Meme tag thing!

Tagged by @a-lighthouse-a-man-a-city, because someone knows I love doing these things so much xD (that’s not sarcasm, I truly enjoy these random ‘tag list meme’ things)

Rules: Tag people you’d like to get to know better/catch up with

Three Ships in any order: Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra), Tsukimi/Shū (Princess Jellyfish), Barbra/Strickler (Troll Hunters) - I fan-girl squee so hard whenever I see any of these couples together >w<

Last Song:  Bad Romance (Medieval Style Cover by Hildegard von Blingin') - This randomly popped up in my YouTube feed suggestions and now I’m in love with this cover xD

Last Movie: Treasure Planet - Because I’ve realized there are a lot of Disney animated movies that I enjoy as an adult way more than I ever did as a kid, mainly the ones that weren’t as popular when they came out. Now I feel bad for not liking them when I was younger.

Currently reading: ..... O////O, not sure if I have the guts to share that on the Internet. It’s nothing scandalous but since it’s one of my guilty pleasures I feel, well, a little guilty and more than a little mortified at the thought of anyone finding out. 

Currently watching:  Wars of the Roses Documentary by Timeline - Since working at home, I’ve been watching a lot of documentaries in the background while I work, because I’ve been assigned projects that is so mind numbing I can do it and learn about how monarchies were seriously messed up in the sense that a lot of them came and/or stayed in power because of brutal decapitations.

Currently consuming: Toaster oven s’mores - Not quite as good as the real thing, but they’ll do in a pinch. I should also mention that instead of chocolate bars, I’m using baking chocolate chips (milk chocolate) because they were way cheaper.

Food I’m craving right now: My papi’s carne asada - My neighbors are Hispanic and have been barbecuing for the past week and it’s making me miss my family so much because it smells like home! :( 

Tagged: @spectrumelf @spirogs-blog @acrinn45

Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

For today I have a parking pass for my place of work and NEVER have to take the bus again! (Unless, of course, my car is in the shop), but other than that!

Never again must I worry about catching the right bus. Never have to worry about being too early or too late. Forced to wait at a bus stop covered in graffiti and unspeakable human fluids in the rain, heat, and snow.

Never again do I have to worry about getting a seat, let alone getting a seat that provides me some semblance of personal space. I won’t have to put my bags on the seat next to me to insure some perv doesn’t force themselves upon me.

Never again will I be forced to listen to other people’s music and ticktock videos, babies wailing, and crotchety old men state their unwanted opinions loudly, as if we weren’t in a confined space and can’t hear them despite our headphones trying to drown them out.

Never again worry about unstable people causing scenes so violent and disturbing and mentally upsetting that I burst into a fit of tears and shakes the moment I’m able to get home and feel safe again.

Never again.

Black Panther: Pride

“So this is the blacks’ Coco.”

That was the first thing my papi said when I asked him what he thought of the movie. He’s not the best when it comes to being sensitive (he tends to say all the politically incorrect terms just for the fun of it, actually). So when I got past the bluntness of his statement, I realized what he actually meant.

Pixar’s Coco is a movie that is very dear to me because I am a Mexican-American. My papi immigrated to the U.S. and thus my family grew up with a different set of culture values and traditions; I grew up as part of a minority. 

So when Pixar came out with Coco, I was one of the first to see it. And what pleased me more than the homages to Mexican culture was the reaction it received worldwide. It became a source of pride for me that people loved a film that was based on my culture; a minority culture.

And what my papi had said summed up Black Panther: it is a movie based on a minority culture and people love it, they praise it because it is different and captivating.

I don’t wish to presume, but as a fellow member of a minority, I think it’s wonderful that those of African heritage (wherever they are from now), can look at Black Panther, see how much others love it, and take it as a point of Pride.

“Two Ladybugs? I’m in heaven!” -Cat Noir

I just love the looks on everyone’s faces here: priceless!

Cat is just so totally happy/overwhelmed that he’s now got double his love, while Ladybug...

Not really sure if they’re looking at Cat Noir or each other, but I love how their expressions are so different from each other.

Marinette #2 (the one on the left - the non time traveler), is giving off a look of “oh my gosh, seriously? What incredibly inappropriate thing he is thinking of now?”

While Marinette #1 (the one of the right - the one that traveled in time), has a sort of bored “Ah, there he is with the jokes again. But at least he’s alive, so I guess I can let it go this time.” Because she’s the one that witnessed him sacrifice his life for her. She’s bound to be less annoyed with him as #2 (who has no knowledge of what he did - or what he’s capable of doing).

Or at least those are my thoughts ;3

Artist Pet Peeve

I hate it when there’s a group of artists (in shows or a class) and they’re given a clear set of rules/expectations, BUT, there’s one arrogant twit who gets high marks/gets to stay in the competition despite NOT following the brief. Simply because they’re talented/showcase cool skills.

I’m sorry, but if I was a client and had commissioned someone for a particular piece, but they gave me something that was the result of their own tastes, I’d fire them and demand a refund, or at least have them do it over!

Giving these artists a pass isn’t going to help them grow, and it certainly isn’t going to prepare them for the real world.

(This rant was the result of me watching Blown Away season 2 and remembering several art classes I took in college - that eventually caused me to switch majors because the teachers were terrible at teaching).

One of my friends and I are divided because of Obi-Wan and Maul.

Our rivalry over who is the superior of the two is as strong as Obi-Wan and Maul’s own rivalry.

“The trailer might be divisive”

No shit. My friend name me one (1) thing that hasn’t divided Star Wars fans.