Latest Posts by bananajohnes - Page 3

“are you ok?” lol fuck no

instead of shaming women into shaving and putting on makeup society needs to start bullying more men into……like……at least wearing deodorant 

The only theft headcannon involving Miles anyone’s allowed to have is that one time he accidentally “stole” some crayons from Applebee’s and was just so distraught he turned himself in.

Miles, sobbing: “I’m so so sorryy, dad. YooU hh;;avee,, ,to aarrest m.”

Officer Davis: “No, Miles, it’s okay. The restaurant gave you those crayons. Also you’re 5.”

do kids these days know abt numa numa

Pitbulls are not aggressive unless you teach them to be

Pass it on

“oh god is he still talking about pitbulls” you bet i am

Someone: Bisexuals don’t exist

Me: I can’t go to work sir, I don’t exist

me: *in the middle of coming out*

my brain: “i thought you were american”

some of you never woke up after heart transplant surgery and discovered that your boyfriend, zayn malik, had been the donor and it shows

I’m sick and tired of being called “mortal” like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

some of you never had to pretend to sleep with your phone/gameboy hidden under your pillow while your mom walks in your room to check up on you and it shows

some of you haven’t stayed up late to read a 100k+ word fic even though you had to be up early the next day and it shows

The worst kind of griffin would be a fox/seagull.

Screams all day and all night and is definitely in your garbage.

Peter b Parker: so who’s president here anyway?

Miles: Bernie Sanders? Term is almost up though but Michelle Obama is running in the next election. Who’s president in your universe?

Peter:

Peter b Parker: Michelle Obama is president in this universe?

Miles: yeah? Who’s president in your universe?

Miles: why are you crying?

this has got to be THE funniest sentence ive seen all day im gonna cry

bones help nobody.

here, i’ll help you remove yours.

you've heard of bisexuals now get ready for,

respecting their sexuality

i’m not lying on the floor physically but i am lying on the floor spiritually

If Loki had taken over Earth, music and art programs would have finally got more funding than sports.

i really am, from the bottom of my heart, an actual fucking idiot

1am…

Me: *is calmly drifting off to sleep*

My brain: think about how Loki deserved better tho

*10 seconds later*

Me, typing furiously: look tumblr I need you to read this 4 page essay I just came up with on the spot about how angry I am at the Russo brothers and you’re going to enjoy it.

REBLOG IF YOU THINK LOKI IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN ALL NINE REALMS.

when ur out there having a good time but then u remember how marvel’s avengers: infinity war (2018) ended

marvel: thanos will return

me: i think the fUuUuUck not you Trick Ass Bitch

Marvel: Tom Hiddleston is too old for Loki

My confused ass:

Fan theories before Infinity War: Haha I wonder if they’ll make a mustache joke or Sherlock joke! Maybe we’ll see Hawkeye do a cool thing and have a side quest :)

Fan theories after Infinity War: IF THEY DONT BRING EVERYONE BACK TO LIFE AND DECAPITATE THANOS WHILE PUTTING MY HEART BACK IN MY CHEST I WILL FUCKING DIE.

Isn’t it weird that we were all so excited for Infinity War and now the majority of us wish it never happened?

Me every time Thanos looked at one of my favs