Latest Posts by coolpaperoafparty - Page 2

You're tall.

Yeah, and that much closer to heaven. ☝️😌

I'm becoming a bit overwhelmed with the notifications I'm receiving. My asks are totally backed up too. They just don't stop, ha. I'm gonna take a break and check on my Oompa Loompas. Heh...'kay bye.

Faxx 😁💙🍬

somebody get this bootleg underage willy wonka outta here 😭 @coffeescandyshop #notmywonka

Hands up for @thewillywonka #mywonkaaa #zebest 🎉🎊🎀

Lies you tell

trans women are stunning and inherently sexy actually

Lmfao

I used a app that changes your face and when I used your face it changed my face to a girl. The app thinks you're a woman and put lipstick on my face because your lips are really pink it had me laughing so fucking hard. This is proof you're a pretty ass sexy delicious but feminine man. That's all I had to say love u bye sugar 😂😂😂😂😂😂

That-....

Well maybe your app is just crappy and it confuses features and gender often, more than you think. ....S'not my fault you got a two star crappy app. 😒

Your laugh is cute

Thank you! Your compliment is cuter.

Why do you be up so early

do you sleep? 😂😂

Of course I sleep. But I wake up at 7:30 every morning to begin planning for factory production work and to take care of other business. By the time I shower, wash my face, brush my teeth, do my hair and get dressed, it's around 8:30 or 9:00. And then breakfast is usually next. It's in my blood just to wake up at the crack of daylight anyway. My body has adjusted to the time and it's become routine since I was in my 20s. When you wanna be successful you have to learn to be an early bird. It does get the worm, you know. ☝️

Sleeping in just isn't an option unless I'm dying, it's a sick day or a holiday.

Crazyheadcomics 🙂🙃

I wanna gossip too

I didn't know you was good friends with Santa clause. I'm late. But I bet you and your oompa loompas be getting the holiday hookup special. All types of little cute outfits and tailored coats and supplies. You know good and well your behind should be on the naughty list after what you did to them kids but Santa still be putting you on the nice list in trade for cookies and chocolate 😂😂

Oh yeah, everybody know the Clauses and their worker elves here at the factory. They like to visit during the winter for a tour and a nice dinner in our big dining hall, and they just love having hot chocolate near the fireplace. Fortunately, Santa never learned about the little factory mishap so I was never put on his naughty list. That's a secret, a slightly dirty one, but so what? We all have at least one. And it's not like any of what happened was my fault anyway. I'm quite an angel, if I do say so myself.

Oh noooooo *gay voice*

I'm atta dentist and I'm scared

I feel for you. The dentist is still one of my biggest fears. I wish I could help you feel better, but frankly I'm all out of words of encouragement. But unless you're having a serious operation done, you should be dandy. You could always ask for numbing gel, that way you won't feel a thing.

Do you have a middle name?

Yes, Winslow. But before I was named Willy, I was going to be named Wilbur Winslow Wonka Jr.

Can you dumb this down

How do you come up with your financial planner/organization?

I organize percentages, range, demographic (that mostly being children), costs, income and do's and donuts (do nots), get it? Ahaha!

Ahem. Excuse the sloppy handwriting, I was in a rush. This is basically a short overview of the benefits to what's called "affiliate marketing." It's a pretty simple concept. For instance, you want an online store to sell your brand of candy. So you search out and find what's called an "affiliate network" and advertise your goodies to a seller, or an affiliate marketer. Should you be lucky enough to get someone interested in selling your shiz-na-ee, they would then set up a website or link to your line of candy. And every time you make a sell from their links or site, you both get paid. In other words, you have sustainable income, depending on how popular you are of course, and they pocket what's called a "commission", a sum of money earned through sales. You know how those greedy and money hungry YouTubers get paid a percentage by a sponsor just to shove a product down your cute little throat? Same thing, really. Unless you're the greedy YouTuber. But isn't that neat? You can still market your business right from your bedroom with ease. And in the times of Coronavirus where people can't physically go out to stores as much, this is my newest strategy, because I have to keep that revenue coming in! And the rest is pretty much the basic 101 stuff. Blah, blah, blah, economic decline, global panic, business thingy, you understand? Great! Loved your question, by the way!

Read life of the party please

You said you would read a book for us but the original asker never said what book they wanted you to read.. so can you like leave some voice clips on my ask, it can even be quotes?

I would post more to further entrain you but I'm afraid there is a one video limit. Maybe I'll read a book in the near future, someone requested If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, haha! We'll see.

Your face is aesthetically pleasing.

Why thank you! I'm sure yours is just as aesthetically pleasing. Whatever that means. ☺️

Hey I noticed that you changed your clothes a lot on the golden ticket tour day. First you had the black coat outside then you took that off and had the burgundy jacket but after the contest you had on gold and black pajamas and slippers then when you was getting your shoes shined you had the black jacket with another black coat under it and then you changed back to the burgundy jacket when you had dinner with the buckets. Why did you change so much and how did your clothes magically switch at the end?

Well, I changed back into my lounging pajamas because the tour was over. And I wanted to be comfortable for my therapy session. I threw on a quick change of clothes once again to find Charlie and talk to him. I specifically changed my clothes so that he wouldn't recognize me or the big 'W' on my shoes. That's how I ended up in all black. So basically your question is how in the world did I end up wearing the burgundy coat again, right?

When we arrived back at the factory after visiting my dad, we were brainstorming new candy flavors and ideas. I leave most of my coats and shoes at the front corridor when I'm in a hurry (if the Oompa Loompas haven't taken them away) and I happened to change back into the attire from earlier right before going to the Buckets' house for dinner with Charlie. That's all. Just a quick change of wardrobe.

You said your middle name is Winslow and my middle name is kinda similar it's willow 😂😂😂

And I like your bedroom and your smile and cheekbones. Your really feminine and handsome and sexy which is my type but im too young and you probably gonna be disgusted that Im 16 bye

That took a left turn quick! Haha!

But seriously, ew.

I aint even know it could open i-

Do you actually need that cane or is it just decoration

Also is your can edible as well

It's simply an accessory that I like to keep around. Well the cane itself isn't edible but I can fill it with candy too! Currently it has Nerds in it. You know those wonderful little sweet and colorful candies made by Wonka? Yeah, those. Those are the little things inside of it, in case you were wondering. Ha ha!

I got sunburned :(

Ouch. Put some ointment on that and you'll be fine.

I close my eyes too tight

I hide in the shadows of my mind

Behind the doors of my heart

And wonder why he never woke up

Why people are ice cold

Then I slowly remember the reasons for why

I would rather be alone

Than to be around those who do wrong

Take advantage

And disarm

So I'll keep sculpting

Because it's the one thing

That doesn't bring me harm

I have nothing else to say

I'm not good at expressing my emotions

I wish people would do better

And love each other more

That's all

~ Edward

#gettinganewcanesoon 🎩

🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫

This high key fire

#gettinganewcanesoon 🎩

Same

I just started my period and I'm cramping so I'm laying in bed watching your sexy self act crazy on tv, eating sugar cookies, and drinking ginger ale to help my stomach

Ew. TMI.

But yeah, feel better.

I have this theory that you're bipolar. Mainly cause when you go from being cheery to angry and petty quick. Every time the kids say something annoying you snap at them. When Augustus fell in your chocolate river you looked mad and like you didn't give a fuck then when the sucky thing sucked him up you had a smirk on your face and didn't do anything cause you wanted to see what would happen. You could've easily told your oompa loompas to get him out. You seemed like you really tried to warn all the kids except Augustus. Is it because he's fat? At the beginning of the tour you sarcastically body shamed him. You lowkey got a dark side lol

I don't understand anything you're saying. Each child was a complete brat and their parents were equally irresponsible for contributing to their kid's downfall, a lack of discipline, parenting and all that stuff.

Example, Augustus and his mother are the same size, if you get what I'm saying. If she had told him to put down a cookie or two years ago then maybe he wouldn't have been so tempted and greedy at the factory. And I was the true victim here, I had to drain my poor chocolate river and replace all the contaminated chocolate. That cost me a lot of money. So I don't want to hear about how I'm such a terrible person for supposedly taking a little pleasure in their pain.

I'm sorry for our little fight earlier. This new herbal tea I'm drinking has me acting strange. Emphasis on herbal. I think Alice spiked it

All is forgiven. And since we're apologizing, I'm sorry for telling Edward that you're a no good gap tooth tea-drinking scallywag. Heh.

I'm not sorry for my comments about Alice, though. I stand by them, and now you see what I mean for yourself. She's clearly got you tripping off the herbs. What is it this time? Opium Poppy? Tsk tsk.

You don't have no business sharing pics of food I can't taste

Homemade dinner guaranteed to taste better than ya mama's cookin'!

Indian style chicken and vegetable tray bake; sweet potatoes, courgettes, peppers, onions, cauliflower and fennel to start, tossed in oil, cumin and turmeric. Chicken pieces marinated in garlic, ginger, garam masala, homemade smoked chilli sauce, and lime juice. Roasted for 45 minutes then added broccoli, chopped garlic and tomatoes. Finished off for another 15 minutes and then served with a few dollops of raita (yogurt, mint, cucumber and coriander). And to wash it down, Verdi Spumante white sparkling wine, imported from Italy.

Look at those beautiful, bright colors. Those crisp veggies. That succulent, tender chicken.

Who said I can't hold it down in the kitchen? No one? Oh, I thought so. Ha.

Tell her it means she got a yeast infection lol

If a girl's coochie smells like tuna fish is that bad for men? Asking for a friend 😅😐😶🤐

I think m-maybe that's a q-question for your gynecologist, dear girl.

...Heh...yeah. Gynecologist.

I'm not a doctor. I'm a chocolatier. I make chocolate. 'Kay?

What are some things that help you sleep at night? I suffer kind of with anxiety and depression and nothing really calms me enough for sleep

I'm sorry you're having trouble sleeping. I used to have that problem when I first opened my factory because I had so many new ideas and nerves running through my body.

If I could suggest a white noise, storytelling or an audio book app, those always help me. The best ones, I think, are vintage and oldies music live streams with rain put over them. Some good free apps and YouTubers that stream music and white noise 24hrs:

Nemo's Dreamscapes (YouTube, and the best one, in my opinion)

Chilling (Scary storytelling app, if you're into that sort of thing)

Yellow Brick Cinema (YouTube)

Relax Rain (App)

The Relaxed Guy (YouTube)

Dream Musicas (YouTube)

Sleep Radio (App)

Free Books And Audio Books (App)

I recommend taking a hot bath with any oils, bath bombs or epsom salts beforehand since baths ease folks into a more relaxed state of mind. Also, Aromatherapy products are excellent for induced sleep. I hope these help you and you find a solution that works! I'm curious. Let me know! Goodnight and sleep tight.

😆😆😆😆

The shade you be throwing at Alice, Mike, and Augustus on here and the way you be responding to your dad in the comments be KILLING MEEEE LMFAO YALL FUNNY AF 😭😭😭😭

And when mad hatter was yelling at you and Edward through your asks and you were like "oh..." I died. And Some girl said you get her wet and your dad said he hope they ain't a minor, please come get your dad. It's the chaos for me 💀💀💀

You know what they say, if you don't like my shade then step out of my shadow. That Alice is something, though. A drunk. Hmph.

As for my dad, unfortunately there isn't much I can do to deter his behavior.

Sometimes I think about throwing myself into one of your machineries because my back hurts so bad I need to be cracked like a glowstick

That's terrible. I don't know if throwing yourself into any machines would do anything other than harm you.

It might be best to go to a spa and allow someone to give you a massage. Maybe let a person walk on your back?