Aizawa :YOU KNOCKED ME OUT

Things that my dad and I have said while we're on holiday but as aizawa and izuku! And present mic as my mother

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Aizawa : honestly I hate driving I might just crash the car

Izuku :plz don't wait till my song is done at least

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Izuku: I might just jump out the car rn

Aizawa :not rn wait like 10 more minutes I'll speed up for you

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Aizawa :if I'm gonna buy you alcohol you may as well fucking down it

Izuku : fucking bet! Let's go

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Izuku : honestly I might jump off that clif in a second

Aizawa :ill record it

Present mic :... Wtf is wrong with you both?

Izuku : alot

.....

No one :

Izuku cracking his knuckles during class : hm

All of class 1-a and aizawa snapping their heads to him instantly : DEK- PROBL-

izuku looking around : wow. Wow seriously.

Class 1-a : sorry... Its just.... Its you we can never be safe

Aizawa : i wouldn't put it past you to break your hand during class too.

Izuku deadpan sighing : I hate this fucking class.

Class 1-a :GASP. MIDORIYA! LANGUAGE!

aizawa and izuku quotes part 6!

because its 7am I haven't slept and I have a 10 hour shift soon!

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Izuku , making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce.

aizawa: Hey, do you take constructive criticism?

Izuku : I absolutely fucking do not.

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aizawa: You're alive.

Izuku : There's no need to sound so disappointed sensei.

aizawa : I'm not I'm just shocked

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aizawa: Izuku , what is the ONE thing I asked you NOT to do tonight?

Izuku : Raise the dead.

aizawa: And what did you do?

Izuku : Raise the dead.

aizawa : why why do you do this.

izuku : I am just in a silly mood okay

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aizawa: What's wrong with you?

Izuku : Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

aizawa : Oh... I'm adopting you now

izuku : yeah lam- what?

mic : STOP ADOPTING EVER SAD CHILD.

aizawa : YOU CANT STOP ME.

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Izuku : What goes up but never comes down?

aizawa: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.

izuku : hut its just you, me and the cats

aizawa : exactly. poor bastard is stressed.

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Izuku talking about aizawa : my dad taught me to think before I act.

Izuku now glaring at bakugo : ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

aizawa proud as fuck : go get em kid!

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Izuku drugged up on hospital meds : Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food?

aizawa :....what????

class 1a : I'm so confused?

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izuku high as fuck on hospital drugs after the stain fight : haha pretty

aizawa and mic bursting into the room :KIDDO?!

izuku : ayeee! you made it!

mic : hey buddy how you feeling?

izuku smirking : they got me on the good shit!

aizawa laughing : oh my god!

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Izuku staring at aizawa who's half asleep drinking coffee in the middle of the night in the dorms kitchen :

Aizawa who's staring back at him : can I help you problem child?

Izuku smiles : I see you have chosen cuddles.

Aizawa confused : what?

Izuku proceeding to approach aizawa ducking under his arms and just cuddle into the man :you have chosen cuddles

Aizawa still and still confused but suprised at how warm izuku is : h-how?

Izuku : don't question my ways sensei

Aizawa hugging him back slightly : don't really question it anymore

Izuku : good. Sleepy time now

Aizawa :yeah okay

Izuku talking to the Vestiges: so what was your favorite moment before you died? It has to be the closest to when you died though.

Nana: my very last moments when I flipped off All for One and gave a sassy hair flip, just before he crushed me with a giant bolder.

Banjo: That one time when I dropkicked All for one using my blackwhip

2nd, still in the corner: I made All for one cry once

Yoichi: when I escaped the vault and left a recording of my voice that was triggered by the vault door opening that had me cursing him out and telling him that next time he wants to keep someone in a vault to take care of their mental state too, because I'm coming for him.

Everyone: silence

2nd: when did this happen?

Yoichi: I had it recorded for a while, it was supposed to be either for my funeral or for a last message when i got out sort of thing. I set it up while you guys were getting some stuff to take with us back to camp but I had almost nothing to pack so I just did that and then shoved everything I owned into a bag.

Izuku: that sounds fun.

Aizawa, walking in on the conversation: Izuku who are you talking to?

Izuku, looking him dead (haha) in the eyes: dead people. They are talking about the best experiences they had before death.

Aizawa, tired: and why does that sound fun?

Izuku, forgetting to give Aizawa context: well, the one who is all for one's brother left him a voice recording telling him off once he was able to escape the vault he put him in, that's what sounds fun. Not being in the vault, but the voice recording.

(I will let you continue this before I get out of hand and use too much space for the ask space to handle)

(im just laughing my ass off at this it's funny as fuck thank you for the ask!)

aizawa sitting down next to izuku : okay so... what else was the others best moments?

izuku : nana flipped him off and did a sassy hair flip! Banjo drop kicked him with the help of blackwip! second made him cry! ans ofc yoichis! so someone else go!

aizawa pale : how did they die again?

izukj : all for one. they all died to him apart from the 4th!

aizawa : Oh....

en: I mean I told him to go suck a rubber duck before throwing a bunch of them at him..

izuku snorting laughing : YOU DID WHAT?

aizawa : what they do?

izuku : en threw a bunch of rubber ducks at all for one while telling him to go fuck himself with them!

aizawa chucking : okay that's good.

third : I gave him a clone nose and wig and told him to go be with his brethren

izuku : WHAT... HAHAHA FUCK OFF REALLY?

aizawa : care to share?

izuku : pffttt 3rd gave him a clown nose and wig and told him to be with his brethren!

aizawa snorting a little : pfft that's amazing

izuku nodding : well now I feel like I gotta step up when I die.

aizawa : no.

one for all users : absolutely not.

izuku : dahm shut down so fast....

izuku and aizawa qoutes part 8

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aizawa holding a bottle: is this whiskey or perfume?

izuku chugs entire bottle:..

izuku : It’s perfume.

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izuku : Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

aizawa : I think you mean cards.

izuku , pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not

aizawa pale : what the fuck kid?

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izuku : English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

aizawa : You need to stop.

mic laughing his ass off : I THOUGHT YOU THAT ONE!

izuku smug as fuck : yes you did.

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izuku texting the heros and students chat :

brokenbones: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

sleepingbag : What did you do.

brokenbones : A MISTAKE.

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izuku watching aizawa break into his father's house : This is such a bad idea.

aizawa : Then why are you coming along?

izuku : One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

aizawa with manic grin : hmm.... okay good enough!

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izuku and aizawa qoutes part 9!

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aizawa: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Izuku : Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

aizawa : I'm not. I have to deal with it afterwards!

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Izuku : I know every song to ever exist it doesn't matter if it's from the past, present or the future.

midnight : Oh yeah? Then continue this.

midnight : I don't cook I don't clean-

Izuku : So let me tell you how I got this ring.

Izuku & midnight : .....

Izuku & midnight : GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME-

aizawa and the other ua teachers watching in horror : what the actual fuck.

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aizawa: An Apple a day keeps the Doctor away kid.

Izuku sleep deprived : An Apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough sensei

aizawa : Oh....

class 1a : oh oh...

the league of villains : I'm scared...

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Izuku texting the heros and student chat again at 1am

brokenbones : Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it.

sleepingbag : ...what happened?

brokenbones : I made a VERY bad mistake.

IamNOThere:.... young midoriya wtf

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aizawa lost of hope : Izuku , I need some advice.

Izuku mixing redbull and coffee into a 5 hour shot drink : You need advice from ME?

aizawa: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

izuku nodding : mhm.... who died?

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aizawa, ordering Starbucks: Hey, I just got my heart broken, what do you recommend?

Izuku , who’s running the drive thru: …

Izuku : Tequila.

aizawa shocked : PROBLEM CHILD?

izuku : hey sensei

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No one :

Izuku : I will become friends with everyone. That's a threat.

Everyone at UA :... Alright buddy!

izuku and aizawa qoutes part 4!

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Aizawa: This is a very powerful artifact. You’d be messing with some forces we don’t fully understand.

Izuku : That sounds like a dare to me.

Aizawa: Oh my god.

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aizawa: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.

Izuku : Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.

aizawa worried :... kid you good?

izuku 'doesn't plan to make it past 28 'midoriya :I'm just peachy

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Izuku : Y'know, I once knew a man who said to me: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” He also had a pair of sideburns that would cause even Jude Law’s face to weep in forfeit. You put those lemons in a sack and beat your enemies with ‘em! And maybe if you beat ‘em hard enough the bag will split open and lemon juice will spray into their eyes, causing intense burning pains as you crush them into a citrus-y pulp!

aizawa: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Their heads or the lemons?

Izuku : Whatever caves first!

aizawa :... oh

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Izuku : Oh, fiddlesticks.

aizawa: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

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aizawa and izuku busting a drug raid at 3am : Hey problem child , I’ve got an idea for how to solve this.

Izuku tired as fuck , pulling out a shotgun: Yeah?

aizawa: Wh- No! That’s not the idea, problem child! where tf did you even get that?!!

izuku deadpan : gun go brr

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No one not a soul :

Izuku walking past bakugo whispering : I'm gonna rip your hands off.

Bakugo :... WHAT THE FUCK NERD?

Izuku acting all innocent : huh? I didn't say anything are you okay kachan?

Bakugo slightly scared : NO WTF DID YOU JUST SAY?!

izuku : nothing? Are you okay did you hit your head too hard during training?

No one says anything for a good few seconds before izuku smiles everyone thinks it's his normal smile but to bakugo its his "no one will ever believe you bitch" smile